Christmas presents.

[sarahh96]

I'm fuming!!!!
Anyone else having issues with family over Christmas presents?
We all made an agreement this year that, apart from the kids, we wouldn't give each other Xmas presents. Everyone seemed happy with that.
As of last night I have now been informed that other members of the family are giving presents so we need to as well. I now find myself financially embarrassed as we simply can't afford it and I hadn't budgeted for it. Other members of the family are comfortably off whereas we are not! What shall I do? Stick to my guns, which will make waves in the family, or bite the bullet and just buy something? I'm absolutely fuming that my financial situation hasn't been taken into account over this. We are not even seeing them over Xmas. I'm tempted to stick to my guns but OH doesn't want the embarrassment of saying we are basically skint. What to do???

That's shitty of them. Could you and the kids make something? Or would they mind if you just said you can't afford to?

Well we’ve had this over the years when DSis was a single mum and had very little - so we clubbed together to give her cash for gifts for her little one.

I was working full time and we didn’t expect anything in return.

I think that’s nice that they’ll buy you gifts so stick to the agreement.

I think we will have to resort to making something, I doubt it will be appreciated though. The others tend to shop at high end retailers, unless it has a "label" it doesn't count. I did try to say we couldn't afford it but they couldn't seem to grasp that £20 per head for 7 ppl is too much for us. We are dealing with someone who is outraged at the price of fillet of beef from Waitrose!

Stick to the agreement. Don't get them anything, just send them a little thank you card.
Don't be embarrassed and don't feel forced into it.

I would bite the bullet and politely say “I’m sorry but with such short notice I need to stick with the original agreement of only buying for kids. I hope everyone understands”. End of. Don’t be embarrassed op, millions of others are in the same situation, in fact I truly think it’s the minority that aren’t.

How about whoever gives you a present, you just give it straight back to them?

That's brilliant! 🤣

I think you should stick to your guns and tell them there had been an agreement. If the family members have a problem with it, it’s their problem.
If you feel you must get something, and can afford it, get a tub of chocolates as a “family” gift. No one should make anyone feel they have to spend out of budget just because it’s Christmas.

If you're not seeing them over Christmas buy something cheap in the sales .

Charity shop
Facebook Market place
Flea market
Give something from your house
Chocolate
Pound shop

I'd make each of them a Christmas cake. Probably cost you £5 each if you get the ingredients from the value range.

Shop-bought Christmas cakes are rubbish and so they will probably appreciate a decent homemade one. If you have a food mixer, you can do the whole lot in one go. Borrow some extra cake tins from friends and then you'll only need to use the oven once.

It's a bit of work but get your DH to knock up some cake boards from plywood, foil & wrapping paper. Add a ribbon rather than icing. Job done. 😊

I wound stick to my guns OP. You made your position clear. It's not your fault they are reneging on it. There's no shame in that.

Stick to the original agreement and take the chance to set this as a rule for future Christmases . Others can buy you gifts if they want but if they expect something back (and are not getting anything) they'll soon stop! We stopped all this nonsense years ago!

I agree with other posters, you have to be brave and not buy anything (except for children) - otherwise this present buying madness will continue next year and the year after that, etc.

I love buying gifts but the increase in cost of living is impacting on everyone. We all need to be mindful of the situation.

We had a similar agreement last year. One person ignored it (and bought gifts for everyone) but we did not. This year they have agreed not to buy anything for us - which is a relief.

I would just ignore it and stick to the original plan.

Either nothing or a box of biscuits.

You all agreed not to exchange presents. Stick to the agreement. It's not your fault that they didn't. You don't need to do anything.

If they want things with labels on from high end retailers, they buy them themselves with their own money. Not your concern.

If you can manage it, just give them token gifts when you meet up, home made Christmas cake, boxes of biscuits or similar.

You made agreement. Stick to it. Just don't get into discussion about it. If they give you a gift, just say thank you but we all agreed not to gift this year so I took you at your word.

Of course you need to stick to your guns. Why would you reward their lack of boundaries and failure to respect your choices.

Just remind them it was agreed and you cannot afford to buy presents for adults so please don’t give you presents. Repeat like a broken record.