Christmas

[Kam610]

Every year, DH and I always buy presents for both sets of parents, and grandparents his sister and husband, their son, his auntie, my auntie and uncle and my cousin. We also usually buy something small for our close friends' children as we usually receive from them for our children.

We are in the process of buying a new, bigger house, which we are due to move into at the end of January. Along with the rising cost of everything, we can't afford to be buying loads of Christmas presents this year. I thought of starting a WhatsApp group chat with our family members just to say that we won't be exchanging gifts this year apart from something for all the children, and equally that we don't want to receive any gifts for ourselves, just the kids. Does this sound OK, or would you be annoyed to receive a message like this? I wouldn't mind if I got a message like that but I don't want to piss anyone off. I just wanted to highlight it before anyone goes off and starts buying presents.

In theory it’s fine but it’s getting a bit late in the year to be having this conversation.

I think you've left it too late. A lot of people will already have shopped.

Think it depends on the people and how organised they are. We're in a similar situation to you, with the added shock cost of suddenly needing a new boiler and radiator system repairs - £4k that we don't have so have had to get a loan to help. We messaged family last week asking that we do kids only this Christmas, knowing that most of ours don't start gift buying until early December. All have been really understanding, apart from SiL who replied saying they'd already bought our gifts and told us what they'd spent on us, with a suggestion of what we can buy for them to match it. Other than that one response it's been worth it to take the stress away from us. All the adults in the family are in positions where we don't need gifts and it's been more giving for the sake of giving (which I've never really liked anyway to be honest!)

I think float the conversation with them now OP.

I’d be annoyed to receive a message like that. It’s too late and lots of people have already bought their gifts.

Sorry, just reread your OP. I think you can "say" that you'll only buy for kids, but probably asking is a better approach if that makes sense? X

It's a bit late 37 days out from Christmas. Fine to buy for who you want to and let others know you are happy not to receive presents in return, but if people have already bought something they will still want to give it.

Equally, if people haven't bought yet then they may be very relieved!

I don't think it's too late to say anything. You didn't know that ypur boiler would break! If they don't understand (or don't wish to) that's their side. We've done pretty much the same. It gets to the point where you're exchanging gifts for the sake of it. We buy for the grandchildren now only.

I'm just amazed by all these people who have bought all their presents- I've not even started yet!

I’ve bought all
my gifts so I’d say it’s too late? Lots of people I know have too

It’s not too late please say it we all need to say it ! No adult or extended family needs gifts it’s ridiculous !!

Thanks for all your replies! I don't think many of them would have started yet, it's only mid November, however I know many of you have. I just don't think my family are that organised 🤣 I will pop them a message, and if any of them say they have already bought then we may well just have to buy them a gift in return. I just didn't know if it was an acceptable thing to even mention to people or not. Hopefully they will be understand with the current financial situation.

It wouldn’t be too late for me if I’d received that message.

So many people will be looking to prune their list of gift recipients this year, so some of them may welcome the message.

I'd be relieved - probably wouldn't start with 'cos we're buying a bigger house....' but maybe 'with the rocketing energy prices, etc - what does everyone think of just buying for the kids this year?'

Last year we had a £5.00 limit for everyone and that seemed to work well.

It's not too late.

But I'd suggest going with "Could we all agree to scale back this year and.." rather than "We won't be...".

Thanks all! No I won't start it with the reason being buying a bigger house 😆 I'll word it in a way though that explains about the rising costs of everything. Hopefully they will all welcome the message and be feeling the same way!

I don't think it's too late either. Some may not have had the time or are waiting for pay day, so haven't bought yet. If they have, chances are it's returnable or would suit someone else.

Seriously, don't spend if you're not comfortable with it.