Newly single mum money worries

[Anonymousgirlxoxox]

So iv iv only been single two weeks . I have two kids to different dads , 1st dad doesn't pay , 2nd ( who just broke up with ) pays me £30 a week .

Now , my gas and electric is pay as you go . I'm really struggling to afford it . I have to go without gas so I have electric . Food , well don't get my started . I don't have any food . I have £6 left so going to get some bits . My ex payed for gas and electric & food , I don't no how I'm going to do this . I have eaten hardly anything I leave it all for my kids or I eat their left overs . I can't afford petrol either . Iv just got a new job waiting for my dbs . I don't get paid till end of the month , iv just not had chance to get back on my feet . Not really sure why I'm posting this tbh just some advice would be nice . I'm only 23 . My kids are 2&4 . I feel a bad mum 😭

So your ex was basically paying for everything before? Do you work? Are you claiming what you are entitled to?

1. Why doesn't your first child father pay maintenance
2. Are you working? Full time/to the maximum ability you can even if it means second jobs and the like?

Have you made a universal credit claim? If it's a new claim after the separation you can ask for an advance payment to cover essentials or you could ask for a hardship loan.

Congratulations on the new job. Once you start getting paid, what will your finances look like? Can you ask for any help from family in the meantime to tide you over?

Have you put in a CMS claim for your first child?

Gingerbread (single parents charity) might be able to offer good advice.

Where is your own mum in all of this? I'm asking because although I appreciate she may not be around, I have a daughter of your age and I would be helping her out

You have under 5's you can get support from your local childrens centre with referral to food bank and local energy support.

You should claim from both fathers through CMS. Also make a Universal Credit claim plus call Gingerbread and ask them to help you work out what you’re entitled to claim.
Local citizens advice may be able to help and point you in the direction of food banks etc.
If you have family then ask them for any support they can give so you can get over this difficult period. I hope things get better for you soon.

Contact Gingerbread for support and guidance.

@sneezingpandamum he just won't pay . He doesn't care , still sees my son though .

@OtterOnToast my mum works full time she struggles abit with money too so can't ask her , plus I don't want anyone to know im struggling really

I'm sure there's charities that can help you

Cms?

@SpinningFloppa he paid for gas & electric & shipping

I paid for rent , council tax , tv license , car tax & insurance , kids clothing . Things for the home 🏡

Once I start my new job I'm hoping things will be better , as I said iv only been single two weeks so I'm struggling to get everything together. Once I'm paid I will be able to work out what's what . Thanks everyone I'll look at food bank see what they can offer , didn't really want to do this but I suppose iv got no choice .

No family can help either as have there own struggles

@SpinningFloppa iv tried this , couldn't do anything as he's not on the books so basically no proof of income but he's 100% has money as he always has new things new cars etc etc

Have you appiled for child benefit and universal credit?

Have you applied for council tax support plus single person discount?

Council may have a hardship fund

You can apply for UC today and have cash in your bank by Tuesday.

you need to go through CMS for the fathers.

what are your plans for childcare?

I'm on uc on a joint claim now gone to single claim , said can't have a advance as I already have one that's still needs paying off .

Child care I'm not sure yet , my mum will for the most part as I'll be working nights

As others have suggested, contact the charities and the council re discount for 1 adult. Do you have anything like points on Nectar/Boots Advantage/Tesco club card?

Please don’t feel negative about using a food bank. You need help, your DC need their mother, both you and your DC need food.

I'm guessing you weren't married to your must recent partner? Is £30 a week the right amount of child maintenance or should he be paying more?

Can you apply for a budgeting advance? It's different from a new claim advance and you can get up to £812 - Google UC Budgeting Advance for the requirements (just to check), then call them tomorrow. You pay it back out of your payment over 10 or 12 months.

Were you entitled to the cost of living payment?
It's worth checking if you are receiving all the benefits you're entitled to.

Speak to your GP and get yourself a food bank referral to tide you over for a bit.

Hopefully when you start working things will level themselves out.

Report your first ex to HMRC as he's not paying tax or NI 🤬

Universal credit pay up to 85% of child care costs if the provider is registered

You need to speak to your health visitor, they will refer you to food banks and baby banks (clothing, toiletries and toys etc for under 5’s) you also need to speak to your energy company who may be able to signpost you to a grant.

There is help out there you just need to take the steps to access it. Your health visitor will have all the info of what’s available and are able to give you referrals.

I remember when my parents got divorced my dad paid £75 per week for each of us until we were 18. Used to had me the cheques to give to my Mum. This is circa 2002-2006. £30 a week for a child seems absurdly low nowadays