Social Services

[StayAGhost]

With the cost of living crisis, will social services have different expectations regarding cleanliness and food?
Growing up in the 70/80's we had ONE wash day per week. That was it. This was normal and acceptable at the time
Now my children are in school, they seem to expect perfectly and laundered clothes. I don't see how this is sustainable when tumble drier is too costly, heating isn't on and its pissing it down with rain.
The school has phoned a couple of times to say "your son's trousers are aren't clean (he often goes stream jumping before school, they were clean when he left the house)
Same with food. The expectation was one hot meal a day is fine
Now the school have phoned to make me aware he's had sandwiches rather than dinner (stood in the wrong line apparently)
So would SS bear these things in mind???

Anyway off to work now
Thanks everyone for the input
I'll defo get more school trousers after work or weekend at latest. It's not that long since he had new ones, but from this thread I can see that attitudes and expectations are very different now
Will also check blazers, tho they did all have new ones to start in September £££££
I do feel for those unable to spend like this.
In my day things were much more lax

How can you say attitudes and expectations are shown to be different from this thread?

I must be reading a different thread

Wobble
In went shopping with the firm in my hand for the second 2 pairs
Still got it "wrong"!!

FORM

But you didn't need to let the child wear them. You could've taken them in to school in your hand and asked them.

Or not bought ballet flats as shoes and just had one pair of school footwear.

They phoned to tell you he got the wrong lunch because he was in the wrong line. A primary school child. Just so you were aware. That's all.

I don't understand your musings about SS but it sounds like it's something your are worried about, are you getting support from anywhere if you need it, or are you overly anxious about SS in general?

Neglect is cause for concern but kids go to school all the time with dirty/scruffy clothes and unless it forms part of a bigger picture it's usually not cause for concern at all.

Why would school ring you to tell you that your child had a cold lunch?! How bizarre... what about all the packed lunch children?!
And how would school know if a child has a fresh jumper on or has been wearing it for a couple of days?! My daughter has fresh pants, vest, tights/socks and polo shirt daily, but I only change skirt and sweatshirts if they're visbly dirty.... she can sometimes make them last a whole week, although it is rare!

You say this is secondary school.

I don't know any secondary school children who have wellies in school on a regular basis.

This sounds like a school discipline thing to conform rather than a social services related thing tbh.
The school lunch thing, again sounds like jobsworthiness rather than something more.

Its about their expectations rather than genuinely being worried about neglect.

Oh come on, you know fine well that SS have literally no reason to contact you at all.

In my DSs final year of primary, all the kids were running around in short clothes because nobody wanted to buy new uniform so close to going to high school. DS routinely filthy on return from school. Top state primary in the country.

Your kids are fed, clothed and cared for. SS do not care about sandwiches, uniform non compliant footwear or second day t-shirts. If they did, they'd have to ring up almost everyone.

I do get surprised by the school on occasion, and im not sure how many phone calls your allowed before SS intervention

This is a bizarre statement. They don't go "oh this child has worn the wrong shoes on 3 occasions. That's a SS issue."

Social services do not care if a child has 2 or 1 hot meals as long as the child is fed. Stream jumping sounds like the issue is wet trousers, not dirty - that isn't appropriate for school. The threshold for social services intervention is very high!

Social services are not the parenting police and would not be interested in what kind of boots are worn to school.

They are there to help family's who are not coping and where children are at risk of neglect or abuse.

That will not become involved with children who've splashed in puddles on the way to school or bern given a sandwich lunch.

Also please not we did wash in the olden days.

Sorry for the typos

There must be something else going on or other issues, surely the school can't be phoning you just because he had sandwiches for lunch instead of a hot meal? Why are they even providing sandwiches for lunch if they don't think this is an acceptable meal? Are they phoning every other child's parents who had sandwiches for lunch? When I was a child, I would have sandwiches for lunch pretty much every day at school, I thought this was normal. There's obviously something else going on.

So I have worked with children's SS and schools and your school sounds particularly stringent - particularly on the uniform front. SS look at way more than just cleanliness and hot meals so this alone wouldn't be an issue. However, a lack of cleanliness and hunger can be a sign of ongoing neglect and while the school is potentially being hyper vigilant, then repeat concerns may be register on their radar.

If you are struggling it would be worth you checking what support you are eligible for, and if there are any other issues you are experiencing right now then I really wish you well. Life is tough at the best of times but right now, for many, it is unbelievably difficult, so don't be too hard on yourself.

mine never had a full clean uniform every day. Trousers changed twice a week, polo every other, later shirts daily when sweating. Never had a tumble dryer, just hang them to dry.

I was reported to SS 4 years ago because my daughter "was attending breakfast club every day" they said it was evidence that I could not afford to feed my child. The thing is my daughter loved going cos she could play with her mates and play board games before school. It got dropped eventually but I found it rather pathetic.i hope things have improved over the years.

The school phoned to let you know he'd had a different meal from the one expected and why, that's all. It was a courtesy phone call as some parents would like to know, and some might then chose to give something different to sandwiches in the evening. In this regard, Social Service, will be more concerned that provision has been made for your DS to eat.

Regarding his trousers, could it be that they're wet and school concerned he's sitting around with damp trousers all day. Stream jumping isn't ideal before school when there's no chance to change - could he do it on way home instead?

Could your son walk to school in some trackie bottoms then get changed at school? So they can see your not sending him in dirty trousers. Or get some waterproof pants for when it's wet.

If your children usually have hot meal at school and sandwiches at home for dinner that may be why school rang you just to let you know. You can get those noodles you boil in hot water and add flavour sachet for about 25p a packet at Aldi. Maybe have a few of those at home in case he misses his hot meal again. It is ok now but if snow about he would need something hot.inside of him.