Truly terrified if losing my home, what would you do…

[Permanentlyoverwhelmed]

I saw a post about a lady ‘terrified of losing her house’ it prompted me to do my own post. Whilst I am not trying to go one up, after reading it she had £700 spare a month and 40k in savings… this is not the case for me.

I left the father of my two children 3 years ago (I had no choice it was DV and spiralling). Since then I have had a rough few years battling through courts for the domestic violence, children and finances. I have nearly come out the other side (still another Childrens case to go next month)

Financial wise I can stay in the house till the children are 18 and he should pay £300 towards the mortgage (currently £815) then when I sell we take 50/50 each.

Im battling as best I can through debts accumulated whilst we was together (various catalogue’s in my name that we used for house furnishings) and I just about keep my head above water and my two children (5 & 9) clothed, fed and happy.

However, my gas and electric debt is spiralling (nearly £2,000) in arrears. I cannot afford to pay more then I do currently. I increased my monthly payments to what I could which was £120 to £200 and now my mortgage rate is due due renewal in January. I have two choices (but really only one). 1) is accept a assisted rate for 1 year which has been offered to me in exceptional circumstances as the court proceedings order is still be put into effect. This rate is 2.49% for 1 year. An increase of around £50. I can scrape to this or fix in for 5 years at 5.69%. An increase of around £400 a month. I cannot cover this but what happens when the 2.49% come to an end and the rates are higher then the 5.69% I could of got now. I cannot sleep at night worrying over it all. I will be forced to lose my home.

I work part time, I cannot increase hours as being a single mum and my daughter having various issues that require a lot of hospital visits and lots of diiferent appointments with various professionals I struggle with time as it is and live in a constantly overwhelmed state.

I’ve accessed all the support available to me. I literally do not no what to do for the best.

any advice would be greatly appreciated. I just really want to no what others would do in regards to their mortgage if they were me.

Hi OP....it must be really worrying and stressful....its easy to feel like youre on your own in this situation but youre not....there are lots of charities, food banks, debt advice organisations such as Citizens Advice and Stepchange who are there to help people in your situation....there is always a way through....youre just unable to see it because youre in the thick of it....just avoid debt consolidation companies at all costs as they will only make the problem worse....theres lots of info online. Also have you thought of trying any "side hustles" to bring in a little extra cash....some are quite simple....I did matched betting for about 5 months and brought in about £2500....its easy money and there is literally no risk....its definitely worth looking at if you need some fast cash....lots of vids on youtube to show you how it works....it got me out of the hole I was in....

Very important you sort your debts out formally with the help of a reputable organisation. I'm worried that the utility company may come along one day and insist on a PAYG meter so you are clearing some of the debt each week as well as paying up front for current use.

Agree with others, if the ex will get 50% of house sale proceeds eventually, why is he not paying 50% of the mortgage now. Is he helping you with the DC who needs all the appointments?

I think also if you go to somewhere like CAB for your debts, they can check you're claiming everything you're entitled to?

Can you rent a room out?

Sounds really hard Op. The only thing I can suggest is do you really know that your energy bill is in arrears? My energy company suggested that we raise our dd by £200 a month and when I looked at our actual usage saw that we were £1400 in credit.

Good luck.

Seconding BoredOf. If you live in a city you might even be able to get a Mon-Fri lodger, so weekends are free?

Debt Free Wannabe forum on Money Savibg Expert are very good.

Is the mortgage the problem here?
I can't say I understand it all as I've never had one, but can you move and/or get social housing?

Social housing seems the most secure right now. We're not struggling and I think a lot of it is to do with not having a mortgage.

I would definitely take the lower one year fix as rates may well have improved significantly by then, and you could save any extra you might have found towards the higher fix in case needed for the future.

Definitely speaks to a debt advice charity, not a debt advice company. Christians Against Poverty have a great reputation and are open to people of all faiths and none and absolutely won't try to convert you.

Are you receiving DLA for your daughter?

Hi OP, what amount is your current mortgage, and what is the term left and equity? If it was me I would:

1. Take the one year hardship mortgage. The 5.69 rate you have been offered is high so not worth grabbing and things should have settled down a bit in a year.
2. Change mortgage to interest only from now on. If you stay on a repayment mortgage then you are building equity in the house which your XH will take half of when you sell the house. Use the XH's contribution towards the interest only amount.
3. Put in a formal complaint to your energy company via their online form and ask them to do an audit of your account as you believe you have been overcharged. It is worth a try as it sounds like you are paying a very high amount.
4. Check online if you can claim DLA for your child if she has a condition requiring hospital appointments and extra care. If you get awarded DLA then you could also claim carer's allowance if your earnings are below the threshold
5. Make sure you are claiming all benefits you are entitled to including council tax discount etc - check entitledto.com

Also talk to your solicitor about whether there is scope to vary your existing contribution. It seems odd he wouldn't have to bear some of the additional mortgage costs give he retains a 50/50 interest in the equity.

You've no money so any mortgage arrears and they'll chase your ex. Tbh, from an outsiders pov the best thing would be to sell the house and use what you make and what you're currently spending on mortgage payments to rent somewhere. You can't afford the house until they're 18 unless you earn more.

The OPs ex is heavily subsidising the mortgage. I doubt he would do that with the rent.

Plus, where I live social housing is like rocking horse s**t. The OP would need to sell the house, declare her and her DC homeless and then hope for the best because she wouldn't bee seen as priority because she has a cheque in her bank with equity. Private renting just means that her landlord will pass on any interest rate rise they have through their rent.

Stay in your house OP.

Both myself and @ChaseDreams have suggested the OP works more hours. I still stand ny that because the OP hasn't come back with further details.

OP, work yourself out if this situation with the help of good, sound financial advice from the various debt providers out there. Plus, is there a charity for your daughter's illness that can help with making this easier for you.

The fact of the matter is being a lone parent is tough - no two ways about that. Financial security will get you peace of mind and independence.

Contact StepChange and get payment plans/consolidation arranged. I'd also take the assisted mortgage rate for 1 year.

Do you get UC or tax credits? Does your child get DLA/PIP?

I wouldn’t fix at 5.7%. It sounds unaffordable for you and it’s not at all certain that rates will be higher next year (or if they are so many people will be struggling to pay their mortgage that the bank is unlikely to focus on repossessing your house in particular). You sound a long way from losing your home at the moment though I understand why you’re stressed.

2.5% is a good rate - I’d take that as it buys time. As others have said extend your term to the max allowed and go interest only if you can. Don’t worry about building equity for now but just trying to house yourself as cheaply as possible. That might reduce your monthly payments enough to allow you to get on top of some of your other debts.

I don’t think you should move for now. It’s unlikely you’ll find somewhere to rent cheaper than your mortgage particularly when you take into account your ex’s contribution. Plus it’s likely to be difficult for you to buy in future unless your financial position changes.

Honestly, it sounds like in your case selling the house is worth looking into. Do you have enough equity to buy somewhere smaller or in a cheaper area? If you do, I’d seriously consider it because your finances are so tight that your ex can use this to continue to abuse you.

Not really, she has epilepsy and a severe speech disorder, severe seperation anxiety and on top of this is undergoing a referral for ASD.

Shes traumatised by hospitals as associates them with her seizures and pain. The other appointments, speech therapy, emotional well-being specialists etc all need me to attend with her. She simply wouldn’t go otherwise plus I need to be in close contact with these professionals so I can learn how to best help her too.

my workplace is a family member so extremely flexible and paid well. I wouldn’t be able to hold a job at all with all the appointments, court dates, additional support etc I have to attend so I’m extremely grateful and blessed to have this.

ex partner doesn’t even currently see the children so no help there with medical appointments.

Can’t help with mortgage advice but most of the big energy companies have a charity attached to them. In deserving cases they will write off your debt and let you start with a clean slate going forward - very much worth looking in to

@WahineToa

I suppose moving could be an option. I was coping, so to speak, before the rate rise and energy rises which is why I’m frustrated. Just feel like I find my feet then bam, something knocks me back down again.

problem would be that after the equity is paid and 50/50 split. There wouldn’t be enough to buy somewhere outright and I wouldn’t get a mortgage now on my affordability and credit rating so would need to rent (again I’m not sure if a landlord would take me on) or go to the council, facing temporary accommodation etc. I no a lot do this and have no choice which I truly sympathise surf but I really do not want to have the children having to deal with any more upheaval after everything that’s happened. If I have no choice I have no choice.

This is the British Gas one, I think most suppliers have them britishgasenergytrust.org.uk/grants-available/

@nancy75 ive emailed numerous times and all I’ve got back is some patronising reply saying maybe I shouldn’t be getting haircuts for my son which would save £10 a month 🙈. I’ll try calling them tomorrow.

From the energy trust? I’m surprised to hear that. Some years ago I helped a friend access this help & they were brilliant. I know they will be getting a lot more applications now but I’m surprised they’d be so dismissive.

And you've got DLA for your daughter? I completely understand that aspect, much sympathy. As I said before, I would not rush to move - your mortgage is secure for a year and after that there may be other help. I would re contact the energy charities too.

Energy costs seem to be your most pressing issue.

@120go

this is where it gets complicated. I’d love to go interest only, it would really help but in order to do this they’d need to apply as if it’s a new mortgage and credit check us, he’d need to sign to agree. He won’t.

Same with extension of the term… so I’m pretty stuck 😩

@nancy75

from my energy provider.

It was a bizzare response and probably taken out of context because I felt judged and sensitive but they definitely said they couldn’t help and to look at cutting out my sons haircut from my budget.

I think I may of got unlucky with the person in the end of the emails and I’ll try calling instead. Again, like everything, it’s a timeissue 😬

@SarahR2022

never heard of this! I’ll definitely give it a look. Thank you.