About to go on maternity and panicking

[MariaDingbat]

I'm about to go on maternity with my 2nd baby, we have an almost 2 year old, and I'm really starting to panic over the cost of living increases. Every week the food and energy bills go up, our salaries don't stretch as far, it's harder and harder to save for my maternity leave, the nursery cost for our daughter has already increased, I don't know what to do. We're both civil servants so can't rely on wage increases anytime soon.

We both have good jobs and were stable and lucky enough financially to buy a house for the 1st time last year and still have a small chunk each month to put into savings, but now it seems that there's very little left over at the ends of the month. I appreciate that were lucky to have anything left over right now but I'm so worried that we will take a massive hit next year when our fixed term mortgage ends and the cost of everything will still be increasing at a time when our income is lowered because I'm on maternity leave.

We already have our budget cut to the bone, we don't go away, don't go on holidays, don't really go out, don't do any beauty stuff, no pets, 2nd hand car, buy kids clothes on vinted and rarely buy ourselves clothes. I don't know how much more can be cut. We're just about getting by now, I don't know how we'll cope with more increases.

If you need to stop nursery for your older child I second finding church run toddler/baby groups for the social side. I have a nearly 3 year old who I took to he expensive “baby sensory” groups until covid stopped it. Currently on mat leave with my second (3 months) and go to stay and play type sessions with my toddler and baby which are either free or cost £1-2 (and get a cuppa and biscuit too!) I’m not a member of any church and not religious but they are all very welcoming and don’t force that upon you and someone always wants to hold the baby so I can play with the toddler which really helps to give him extra attention. I wish I had known about these groups with my first (or covid didn’t happen). I’m doing this until he qualifies for his free hours in January, but I am lucky I will get him back into nursery then.

I think your biggest issue is potentially your mortgage once the fix runs out. Presumably if you bought recently the mortgage is quite large and the rate could go up a lot from current fix. If I were you I’d explore going interest only or taking a repayment holiday during maternity leave while you are still on a low fixed rate (banks sometimes allow this). Save the money you would have spent as a buffer for when the rate goes up. If you turn out not to need it you can overpay it back in later or put it back in on remortgaging. For a lot of people increase in mortgage payments could eclipse any savings they could make on food etc. My mortgage payments look likely to increase by around £500 per month. My plan is to fund the extra from savings for a while if I need to while both children are in childcare.

I agree about keeping toddler in nursery if you can. I have a 2 year old and 4m old and would really struggle without nursery and the baby would get a raw deal in terms of attention (I just about manage to keep him fed and changed and prevent toddler whacking him on days toddler is around but otherwise he gets dragged round with the toddler). I’d also never get toddler back into nursery in time if I took him out.

It’s tough timing to have a second baby but I hope all goes well for you.

Have you explored whether you would be better off using shared parental leave? Also, when you are both back at work you may be able to condense your hours, 5 days over 4 each means 2 days less childcare pw. Are you making use of Civil Service discounts such as Boundless. Could you time KIT days to increase pay -DH could take leave to cover. I would rethink Christmas gifts, I would hate someone to go without when I can buy anything I need. If you must, just buy for children with something small for adults. If things really get bad - it doesn’t sound like they will - remember the Civil Service Benevolent Fund.