New to budgeting

[Happygirl21]

Hoping for some inspiration and encouragement for budgeting and how to get started. I suffer terribly with depression and anxiety on and off have done for years but i work full time and have a little one 20 months old and a partner who i also care for he has autism and severe anxiety. We are comfortable with money but not the way i have been spending. I smoke which needs sorted asap but have just had tablets changed and increased again mood has been very bad. No idea were to even start with budgeting for food. I would get a food shop from tescos, then go to shop daily, then maybe 1 or 2 takeaways.

does anyone else with a household of bad mental health find they struggle with this? Our house is absolute chaos and it doesnt end with food even sorting out mail etc is a struggle

Moneysavingexpert has a budget sheet where you put EVERYTHING in and then adjust, so the outgoings match your income.

If you aren't fussy about food, there are lots of ready made budget meal plans online. Don't work for us because we are fussy, but you could try making one for a week to start with. I always start with what needs using up and think what meal I could do with it. Maybe lower expectations? A toasted sandwich is a meal if you serve it with salad. And it doesn't matter if you eat the same thing two days running.

Maybe also keep a record of everything you spend on food between now and 8th Nov, so you know how much you really do spend.

I don't struggle to organise, but I do get that it's overwhelming. Maybe just focus on food to start with.

Start with the two takeaways. Your finance and your health will be better off.

I agree about starting with the takeaways. Perhaps you could buy the supermarket equivalent routinely as part of your shop and have those instead of the takeaways, which is likely to be a big money saver.

Are there easy meals that you'll always feel able to cook? Omelettes, beans/egg on toast?

If you're likely to shop daily and buy takeaways, even when you've been to the supermarket for a 'proper' shop, perhaps it's time to not bother with the proper shop and just do the daily shops then try to cut down to every other day, by thinking 'what do we need for today and tomorrow' and then perhaps twice a week later on, a gradual process? Do you have a lot in, or waste a lot of food that goes off?

Or could you use Gousto, Hello Fresh etc, but focus on the quick and easy meals - many of the normal ones are quite involved cooking, so might be too challenging.

It's hard to advise, because I have lots of suggestions, but recognise the challenges you face, in terms of what you will be able to do.

If you say you are comfortable with money, can you afford help? Almost like employ a 'personal assistant' who does anything you need? Organising bills, hand hold while decluttering, cleaning, organising your fridge, helping with meal planning, whatever you need. Or can you ask a trusted friend or family to help you?

You could look at the advice on Moneysaving Expert for help with budgeting, but I'm not sure if that's something you have the headspace for? They do an online course too, which may or may not help?

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

On the smoking, is it Champix or similar that you're on? DP had those and they worked, but I think it did knock his mental health at the time, but he did manage to stop smoking and it was the only thing that worked for him after multiple attempts to stop over many years.

Sorry, said a lot and forgot. What are you spending money on and is this a dopamine thing? Can you try and look for the same hit with something else? Decluttering, selling what you have too much of, exercise, anything really.

Easier said than done, because I'm not a spender and the whole shopping for things and getting excited when the parcels arrive thing is completely lost on me, I see shopping as a chore that only has to be done when necessary.

I've got a very comprehensive spreadsheet I knocked up myself because the MSE wasn't enough for me. If you'd like me to email it please pm me your email address.

I'd start with putting EVERYTHING you spend in a typical month on there first and then you'll easily identify where you need to cut back, but I expect takeaways and cigarettes are the first place.

First of all, go to money saving expert and start reading on the forums.

I agree start with the takeaways, massive saving straight away.

If you have depression, anxiety and work full time you have quite a lot on so take it in stages perhaps.

It is something I learnt over time, you don't have to change everything on day one.

OP, you could sign up to the weekly MSE newsletter and then just try and pick things up over time.

Try some budget apps or I just use an excel spreadsheet. Income and outgoings. I save what I need for Christmas and birthdays each month so that spend is spread across the year. I also love the later direct debits to another account then move back over when they come out.

the cigarettes and takeaways are the obvious big spend to tackle first. Could you cut down on smoking (obviously quitting is best) and use a fape or switch to roll ups? I assume you mean 1-2 takeaways a week, which is a lot. If you get a takeaway to save cooking those nights switch it to something easy, eg freezer food or a pizza and salad / fries. Those changes alone will save you a few hundred quid a month

I would like a peek at this spreadsheet! If the offer stands… I’ve been building my own, and I’m becoming quite fond of it really. Which sounds daft, but there’s dopamine to be found in the building a successful budget. Something our government have yet to grasp. /s

I downloaded YNAB app in April and it's changed our lives. I now know exactly where our money goes, have the information to move it around on expensive months (DH, me and DD have birthdays within 3 weeks of each other!) and have money set aside for annual bills and already saving for holiday pots.

When we need to cut down, it's easy to see where we've got 'give' in the budget and also makes me think twice before I hit the 'buy now' button!!

And equally, if we have money left in our 'eating out' pot due to taking pack up / thermos etc on day trips / to work then we get an extra takeaway as a treat at the end of the month to make the saving seem real.

@Suzuki00 feel free to drop me your email address

Another YNAB fan here. I found out about it from MN and I've been using it for 3 months. Its changed my life!

Menu planning helps too. I shop in a Monday for the week ahead so we normally sit down on Sunday and decide for the week.
For example , we had a roast chicken yesterday and tonight is stir fry with leftovers and I’ll make soup for the freezer with the bones. We always have an egg meal which is cheap - either omelette or fry up, and usually pasta and pesto one night too. This week we’re having salmon as a treat- it’s cheaper to buy a piece rather than steaks and you can flake up the leftovers for lunch or use with a pasta dish.
Once you’ve figured it out, write a list and stick to it. If a whole week is too much planning maybe try Monday to Friday to begin with?

I think YNAB probably takes more work and headspace than the OP might be able to give.

Another method of achieving a similar result would be to use monthly standing orders to split your money into pots in different accounts:

One for regular direct debits

One for annual and irregular expenses that are likely to happen (Christmas, insurance, holidays, car servicing, white goods replacement etc). Put some money in this pot each month, likely to be a few hundred pounds if you holiday abroad.

Some money for bigger things like car replacement, home improvements, emergency fund for loss of income etc

Have another account for regular essential expenditure like food shopping and travel.

Then one or two accounts, either joint or one each for personal spending. For

For your non essential spending money account, make sure the cards are different colours (Starling, Monzo etc are bright colours and easy to open) and only allow yourself to spend from these accounts. When the account is empty, you have to do without until next month.

So you're covering all your essentials, saving for medium to long term needs, and naturally limiting the amount of money you spend on non essentials, without having to track all individual day to day transactions and once it's set up, you just need to check once a month that everything is on track.

hi I’ve gone back to using cash envelopes, I tend to spend less when it’s cash where as on my card I get very carried away.

we’ve been doing this for a month now and have managed to keep within budget (not perfect but better than before) and also save a little

There’s a great YouTube channel for budgeting called Debt Free Dana, she also uses cash envelopes. Money saving expert as others have said is great for help with setting out a budget and generally everything you need to help you adult!!

I was like this until I found our system that works really well.

separate account for bills. All money to cover bills go in there.

then I take out Separate money for four weeks of petrol and four weeks of food. They go into their own accounts.
That way if all else fails u will have that money for food and to get to work.

I then separate our spending money weekly. So every Monday I move over our spending money for that week. And that is all we have. And I don’t move more over till the next week This way I never run out of money for towards the rest of the month ( as I always spent too much at the beginning. and I always have food money. Been doing this for over two years and has changed the way our finances have worked.

This sounds like a really good way of doing things.😀

I have stopped doing the weekly 7 day shop, and now shop every 8 days instead. On that extra day, we look at what we have left in our cupboards and make do. My husband calls it the Eight Day Debris Dinner. We save 6.5 weeks of shopping a year.

Before these changes, our weekly shop was at either Asda/Tesco - But now we do 80% of it from Aldi/Lidl and 20% from Asda/Tesco. But this varies week by week with supermarkets being 20% or less. Shopping in Aldi/Lidl is super quick- 3 aisles, only one or two choices per item as opposed to the gazillions of choice you have in supermarkets. You save money and time.

Tv is different these days with multiple subscriptions- other family members and their households, we share subscriptions. So our amazon prime tv account is ours but we share with my brothers household and my bils household. My bils netflix we share. My brothers disneyplus we share. Etc etc

Have you considered you might be neurodivergent like your partner? Struggling to regulate your emotions and high levels of anxiety are core traits for women with ADHD. Other traits include impulse spending and not having the attention/executive functioning capabilities to cope with the stages of choosing a meal, then preparing and cooking the food you have.

If you do have ADHD getting this diagnosed and medicated could make a huge difference to your life and especially your ability to control your spending.

Hi....budgeting can be fairly simple if you have all tjhe information and the time to do it properly....this is a great 4 step guide....
https://beamoneypro.com/budgeting-for-beginners-in-4-simple-steps/
step 1 is to actually make some time so you can think clearly....thats often missed when people are trying to sort out their finances....

I understand how you're feeling op, as I have also been struggling with simple things like you mention.

I actually had my breakthrough this week. I didn't know how to log into my company's expenses system, and became totally overwhelmed whenever I tried I just pushed my head further in the sand- thinking I would do it one day. But all my receipts were piling up in a big mess. I'd moved house twice recently and lost most of my receipts- and was just generally a total disaster.
But I got a couple of hours free at work- luckily had the head space- and forced myself through the login procedure.

I've now claimed everything I can (some receipts were totally lost or too old) and tidied up and organised my purse.

Anyway that kind of got me started to get to grips with my life. I've just started with October- rather than going back through history, and I'm logging everything on a spreadsheet in categories to just get visibility of what I am spending my money on.

At first glance it is car, house, and pets that is taking most of my money. In context the amount I'm spending on food isn't too much by any means. And children barely use any of my money.

I'm looking forward to getting a good handle on it over the next two months- then see if I need to be making any changes.

But as one PP said, working on your budget is a dopamine hit in itself- I'm really enjoying it all at the moment.

Good luck with it all- and I hope you feel better soon

@romance123 You've just reminded me I need to set up next year.

I dont know how i would even go about looking at this

Hi...Theres full instructions on the above link I posted....its really helpful if youre not sure where to start....