Help me stop spending!

[ARicher22]

I think I have a spending problem. I admit it. 2022 is going to be different and I writing it here so I can be held to account by mumsnet.

It's not that I don't earn enough (though I'm hardly loaded) and it's not that I'm wasting money on really high bills, I've checked and cancelled and random subscriptions and I've only saved £20 pm. Gas electric and phone bills are as low as I can get them.

The issue is spending whilst I am out.. a coffee here, meal deal there, new toy for DD and just far too many treats. Days out and then buying lunch out instead of taking a picnic, too many expensive ready meals. I have sweet FA to show for all the money iv spent.

Christmas is ridiculous (I have my Christmas day tomorrow) and I've got my self in more debt again to try make everyone happy. I'm wrapping hundreds of ££££ of present whilst driving round in my car that desperately needs ££££ of work doing before it dies a death, praying it lasts till pay day. I am in close to 8k of debt and things need to change.

Top tips for resisting temptation and keeping my purse zipped shut please?

I am quite careful with money usually but noticed how much shit I was buying on Amazon. Literally just the click of a button as soon as I saw an advert etc. I have deleted it for 2022 and closed my account!! Might open it again for next Christmas but for now, it’s gone. Might be worth a thought if this is an area of weakness for you!!

I can relate to your post OP. Have you considered how your spending might be driven by your emotions? How do you feel before/after spending?

Don’t be hard on yourself. It doesn’t sound like you are that excessive at all. Relatively small amounts can add up. You can only start where you are. I am similar for 2022 with the goal of getting the finances into better shape.1400 card debt I have just moved to interest free and 6k car loan final payment due end August. First thing I am doing is start saving a regular amount from January to cover all of Christmas 2022. Sit down and make a realistic plan with a small slush fund left over and when it’s gone it’s gone. My big goal for 2022 is to ditch eating out.

Following a bout of ill health several years ago which meant I lost my job, with no hope of working again, I learned a lot of tricks.

1. Record every penny of cash you spend. Every penny!! Preferably in a cash management programme or App, so you can do regular reports on all your spending categories.
2. Review those accounts every month. Understand exactly where your money is going.
3. Work out your net hourly salary (after Tax & NI). Get used to comparing the cost of things with that hourly salary. It will kill your coffee / lunch habit stone dead when you realise how many hours a month you need to work to fund it.
4. Declutter and sell everything that you genuinely don’t either need or love. This is hard work, but at the end of two years of doing just that you will never buy unnecessary things again.
5. Wait at least 24 hours before pressing BUY. Ask yourself why you are buying that thing. Is it essential or is it an emotional buy? If it is emotional ask yourself what the real issue is. There are so many times we spend to make ourselves feel loved, wanted, comforted etc. It rarely works.
6. Squirrel every penny you save by not buying something into your Debt repayment / Car / Retirement fund. Feel the sense of achievement as that fund builds up.
7. Keep your goals in mind. Perhaps Christmas 2022 with a more reliable car and no debt.

Good luck. My enforced change in my spending habits has made my life lighter and a lot less stressful.

I have just cancelled amazon prime ! I'm a student so it wasn't a massive expense, but I don't watch much on Prime and hopefully it will take away the temptation.

I think there is deffinatley an emotional aspect to my spending. I'm a student so have 3 "big pay days" but also self employed to have a smaller monthly pay on top. As soon as my student finance comes in I go silly l.. to teat my self for having a rubbish few weeks. But then as I have less money ans can't afford big treats, I treat my self in Costa to "cheer my self up". £65 roughly I spent in Costa between November and Christmas.. that must end up being roughly £500 a year! Which is basically the amount my car will cost aswell so I need to stop my self.

I have moved some debt to interest free cards which will save me a little bit of money.. but I'm such an idiot, ill do Really well managing to pay off a few hundred then BAM! A fucking carpet cleaner I've used twice, or an air fryer that sits lonely in the back of my cupboard. But yet the resale value of them in minimal.

I think my first steps are cut down on takeaway coffees. They are a really big expense tbh. The next is to stop buying little bits for DD that she doesn't need or even really want.

When you feel like you need to buy something for her, instead commit to 20 minutes of really intense play. Throw yourself into whatever she is doing. It will go so much further then some plastic crap and still make you feel like a good parent.

@SandysMam

When you feel like you need to buy something for her, instead commit to 20 minutes of really intense play. Throw yourself into whatever she is doing. It will go so much further then some plastic crap and still make you feel like a good parent.

That's a fantastic idea.

I know it should be easy to play with your kids but we all know that sometimes it is boring/we are busy etc!

I have a weekly "spends" allowance for things like coffee, parking, stamps, cards, bit of make-up, etc. I take the money out in cash on a Saturday. It's far easier to keep tabs on cash than to keep tapping a bank card.

@SandysMam

When you feel like you need to buy something for her, instead commit to 20 minutes of really intense play. Throw yourself into whatever she is doing. It will go so much further then some plastic crap and still make you feel like a good parent.

I do like this idea, especially when I'm getting my purse out in the gift shop. DD would deffo rather me spend the day out with her full engaged with her than a £10 piece of tat in the shop after. But a lot of the time its when we need to go shopping. I'm a single parent and I'm guilty of telling her if she's super good whilst we do whatever boring errands need to be done, she can have XYZ which adds up even if it's only twice a week it's hundreds over the year.

I think I'm going to start withdrawing cash for food, petrol and treats, including a section in my purse for DD and once the money is gone, that's it till next week.

I started by withdrawing cash , then you can see what you are spending it really made me think.

Goodness @ARicher22. Money has never been a problem here. Mine had 4 sweets from the sweetie jar - it was a very small thing to take away if they were naughty/misbehaved or were inpatient at the shops.

A sweetie jar seems a much better idea. I think it's because I don't really have sweets/chocolate/ biscuits at home, she eats enough of those at grandmas! So then I have to buy something as a "treat" for being so good.

Start by telling any adults in your family that next xmas you won't be exchanging gifts. Be honest that you can't afford it. Maybe you could do a secret santa with them so you all only have to buy one gift with a spending limit.

@Lunenburger - thank you for the helpful post - x

When my kids got their first job I asked them how much they earned an hour. Then, when they wanted to buy something, I’d ask them how many hours they would have to work to be be able to buy it. They soon leaned the value of money that way, and it was surprising how much less they bought.

When you get your student loan in you need to divide it into however many weeks/months it needs to last.
Put it in another account and then pop over a weekly/monthly amount into your usual account.

@GoodnightGrandma

When you get your student loan in you need to divide it into however many weeks/months it needs to last. Put it in another account and then pop over a weekly/monthly amount into your usual account.

I know this is what I should have been doing but I have so many direct debits coming out of different accounts I struggle to manage it all. Whilst I have a few days off I'm going to set all my direct debits to come out of one account, then use a different one for spending to help me keep track of it all.

my advice

get out £20 from the cash point and see how long you can make that £20 last

when your student money comes through - put it into another account, physically move it over so there isn't money in your current account

then allow yourself to move over say £x for your food etc

you need to sit down and work out a budget to see how much money you need weekly - not monthly, as if you mess up one week it'll be ok to go for 2/3 days without much money to spend - but if you do it monthly then its to long a time lapse and you'll think f*&k it and blow the whole budget

@ARicher22 How about stickers instead of sweets if you don't like the idea of sweets. You can get a variety of stickers in Poundland.

my advice

get out £20 from the cash point and see how long you can make that £20 last
This would be my advice as well.
Once you change your mindset around spending you can save loads of money without realising it.
I have stopped incidental spends such as coffee or McD's when I'm out, or buying something there and then. I avoid window shopping. I don't actually need anything until I see it!!!

I think in general, people need a lot less than they think.
The longest I have lasted without breaking a note recently is 2 months. I would walk further into town rather than pay parking, I would meet friends in the park rather than in a cafe and so on. It became a challenge. I was gutted that I had to contribute to a leaving present! :)

Other small things, I use Top Cashback for virtually everything. I have earned and had £420 transfered into my bank account and I have built it back up so I have £180 pending.
I look for discount codes everywhere. My family think I am a bit nutty at times but I point out I'd rather have money in my bank than someone elses!

@notacooldad

my advice

get out £20 from the cash point and see how long you can make that £20 last
This would be my advice as well.
Once you change your mindset around spending you can save loads of money without realising it.
I have stopped incidental spends such as coffee or McD's when I'm out, or buying something there and then. I avoid window shopping. I don't actually need anything until I see it!!!

I think in general, people need a lot less than they think.
The longest I have lasted without breaking a note recently is 2 months. I would walk further into town rather than pay parking, I would meet friends in the park rather than in a cafe and so on. It became a challenge. I was gutted that I had to contribute to a leaving present! :)

Other small things, I use Top Cashback for virtually everything. I have earned and had £420 transfered into my bank account and I have built it back up so I have £180 pending.
I look for discount codes everywhere. My family think I am a bit nutty at times but I point out I'd rather have money in my bank than someone elses!

What's topcashback?

@ coodawoodashooda Topcashback is an online cashback site. If you do online with a variety of retailers via their website you will earn a certain percentage per purchase.

If you want to try it out, here is my referral link. If you join via this link we will both get an additional benefit. You will get £10 and I will get £25:

Topcashback link