Help i can't see a way out

[Stealthynamechange]

Please can someone give some advice?
Im 180 OD
I have £450 left bills to pay
3 weeks til payday, will need food & fuel in that time.
If i spend NOTHING else by end of feb I will still be 350 OD (not to mention all credit card debit which is likely to grow as ive got legal fees coming up - exh taking me to court for ds).
Im going through my cupboards & listing meals i can make to keep food to minimum. (Just ds & i)
What else can i do?
I work full time (nhs) often over hours but only get paid my salary, no option to be paid for this time sadly.
Ive reviewed all bills, essentials only.
Im really struggling & cant see a way out.
Ive looked into DMP & iva but IVA would mean if my car broke/died I wouldnt be able to fix it & unable to get to work.
Any advice?

How old is your son? Are you getting child support from his dad? Can you ask your family for some money?

Speak to a debt charity such as Stepchange. I did this and it was like a weight off my shoulders. I didnt need an IVA as such, just went with a DMP.

If you are a member of a union (and in some cases even if you're not) you could contact them to ask for financial advice and/or assistance

e.g. RCN supports all healthcare assistants, nurses and midwives, whether an RCN member or not www.rcn.org.uk/get-help/member-support-services/lamplight

Unison www.unison.org.uk/get-help/services-support/there-for-you/financial-assistance/

Good luck and I hope things get easier for you.

As an NHS employee you may be able to access useful discounts if you aren't already doing so:

Blue Light Card www.bluelightcard.co.uk/

NHS People Offers www.england.nhs.uk/coronavirus/nhs-staff-offers/

www.nhsemployers.org/news/2020/11/national-discounts-for-nhs-workers

Thanks everyone.

No i don't get any help from ds dad, i send him 40pcm (inc in bills to pay still). Im hoping to resolve this once court order is in place.

Im reluctant to contact stepchange, the only way im going to be able to pay my legal fees is credit card & dont want an iva.

Why are you reluctant to only speak to a debt charity? x

Last time i spoke to them they really pushed iva & kept calling me repeatedly for weeks

You don't have to pay legal fees with Stepchange.

My friend's husband worked for them and said the relief that people felt after he'd helped them (just after the first meeting) was immense.

Share the burden and contact them. They will give you really good advice.

Was that a charity that you called, or a private company?

I think it was Christians Against Poverty that my friend's husband worked for, not Step Change. He's not religious and said it doesn't matter whether the client is religious or not.

Have a look here

I was also going to suggest Christians Against Poverty. They have good reviews on trust pilot too
uk.trustpilot.com/review/capuk.org

In the short term see if you can get a voucher for a food bank.

Longer term try Citizens Advice/Christians Against Poverty ass suggested, or the NHS link up thread.

Good luck going forward.

Explain to your ex that you are struggling for food and say you can't pay the £40 for the next couple of months.

Are you getting single adult discount on your council tax? Can you pay over 12 months
Have you looked at a benefits calculator to see if you are getting all your entitlements?
Are you on a water meter? If not then investigate having one fitted and if you already have one look at ways you can save water.
Shop around for utility deals
Go through your bank accounts to see if there is any direct debits you can cancel
Sell outgrown clothes etc
Get an additional job like ironing/dog walking

Sorry you are going through this. Why do you pay DS dad £40 a month?

1. Get a referal to a food bank and please don't be too proud to go. That is why people donate.
2. Don't pay £40 to Exh instead text him to say you are struggling to feed yourself and your dc so he will have to wait until after court case.
3. Have you got anything you could sell on eBay or gumtree. People buy all sorts of things you might just throw away. I have seen quite worn looking clothing sell.
4. Have you got family you could lend a little money from or who would buy you some food?
5. Check benefits calculator. Have you.missef anything?
6. I know it is freezing but could you turn heating off overnight?
7. Could you get extra shifts or part time job to supplement salary?
8. Make sure you get 25 percent discount got council tax.
9. If you have mortgage could you get a short mortgage payment holiday, due to Covid they are offering them still ATM.

10. If renting would your LL let.you pay half rent got 1 month. I am LL and have done this got good tenants before in a crisis situation. 11. Can anyone look after DC so you have less childcare to pay? 12. Very very cheap meals. Beans on toast, homemade veg soup, Jacket potato with beans Cheese on toast Cheese toastie Pasta and pasatta Porridge Toast and Marmite Cheap sausages Veg stir fry Pancakes

I hope you can get through this difficult time. You are not alone, many are struggling ATM.

I think Morrisons offer 10 percent off food got NHS.

Thank you so much for all the pratical advice, I really appreciate it.

I send ds dad 40 as its half the child benefit, i feel black mailed into it but am doing it to keep the peace for now until we have a court order in place. Depending on how that looks i'm hoping to stop. Exh is abusive & nothing would make him happier to know i'm struggling, in the past he has told me how happy he would be for me to be homeless. I have to send it.

Ive no close family to help unfortunately.

Ive looked at moneysaving expert & am going to budget 100 per month to repay overdraft.

Any loyalty cards? Boots sell milk that you can buy with points. Use Tesco etc. points in store instead of saving them up.

Any gift vouchers knocking about? Amazon sell food. John Lewis vouchers can be spent in Waitrose. I have a feeling that Argos and homebase vouchers can be spent in Sainsburys.

Sell anything on facebook?

Read meters and claim any overpayment from gas/electric.

Does DS's Dad have contact with DS? If not, I would avoid sending any money until court. He is already painful, no change if you don't send money.

Don't ever pay someone for help with debts. Try Stepchange, CAP, citizen's advice, union - they will all help you for free.

WTF? Re your ex, so glad you got away from him. Keep a record of the £40 payment, stating that it’s from Child Benefit for the court. And the comments about making you homeless.

Thanks both

The stuff with ds dad ive posted on before, very divided opinions on mumsnet & i'd rather not go into it again.

Stop paying your ex £40 ! now, forever

Are you sure you're on the right benefits?

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou

My husband works for Stepchange, he says there is no way that they would keep ringing. Are you sure it was definitely Stepchange Debt Charity and not a company with a similar sounding name? Did you get the name of the person that you spoke to?

My advice would be to phone them from the number as it is listed on the website and speak to an advisor from scratch. This way you know its definitely the right charity.

You'll need to have all of the details for your income and expenditure, they also allow for putting something away to cover unexpected expenses so its not set in stone if something comes up.

Look at any additional benefits that you might be entitled to, although I suspect that you've tried that avenue. Could work help at all? If you think I can help you please feel free to pm.

@Stealthynamechange

Thank you so much for all the pratical advice, I really appreciate it.

I send ds dad 40 as its half the child benefit, i feel black mailed into it but am doing it to keep the peace for now until we have a court order in place. Depending on how that looks i'm hoping to stop. Exh is abusive & nothing would make him happier to know i'm struggling, in the past he has told me how happy he would be for me to be homeless. I have to send it.

Ive no close family to help unfortunately.

Ive looked at moneysaving expert & am going to budget 100 per month to repay overdraft.

I’m outraged on your behalf that you’re sending him the £40pcm. This has to stop ASAP and never start again. This pathetic excuse for a man surely can’t be happy to see the two of you go hungry? As for suggestions, I agree with everything said. Speak to all people you owe money to as you’ll be surprised what people will take. FIL is paying £1 a month to one place as he insisted it was all he could afford.