Help please - managing family budget

[Littlemiss74]

Hi - I‘ve posted in Money Matters too as wasn’t sure which would be better.

I need to get on top of our monthly spending. Current situation is this:

• Both salaries are paid into joint account.
• From joint account a set amount is paid into Bills account which covers all bills/direct debits etc
• A set amount is paid into a Food account which we use to buy all food for the month

This all works very well. The problem is with what happens with the money that is left over in the joint account. My DH and basically use that to buy whatever we need (or want) within reason and it quickly disappears leaving us short of money a week before payday.

Today I have done a breakdown of our spends since last payday and have grouped them as follows:

Hairdressers
School uniform & shoes & equipment
Coffees/eating out
Holiday activities
Football subs
Ballet subs
Clothes
House bits
Bits for puppy
Random amazon purchases, books etc
Ballet uniform
Garden fence panel replacement

How can i manage our money better so that we make it last the whole month? I know that what we have left over after paying bills & food should be plenty to get us through the month but our crap management of it means we are constantly running out.

Also please could you tell if you have ‘your own’ money? DH and I both have our own bank accounts but don’t really use them unless we transfer some money to buy a present for the other. I’m wondering if it would be worth allocating us both an amount each month & use this for our personal things like clothes, coffees, toiletries, hair cuts etc?

Really appreciate any advice as it’s stressing me out trying to balance everything.

We do this, we sort out all the bills, savings, essential spending, food etc at the beginning of the month so that's all accounted for. Then we both get £80 per person per week which includes your petrol and personal frivolous spending, so coffees, clothes, make up, out with friends etc. You get 'paid' this £80 every Friday and its accounted for at the beginning of the month and will definitely be available!

If your list you need to further categorise into essential and non essential. Fence repairs, kids activities subs, school uniform I'd class as essential - calculate the average cost of these monthly and move into your bills or food account. Add an extra £20/£100/ whatever a month as well as contingency.

Split what's left in two and transfer into your own account and that's your own to spend on non-essentials (Amazon crap, coffees).

Thank you both. Yes I think we do need to have our own separate money too as sometimes it causes silly arguments when we can see what the
other has spent and they we’re running short for rest of month.

@TokyoSushi do you mean you pay the £80 into your personal accounts each week? Would it not be easier to transfer one amount monthly?

I suppose the only thing is agreeing what should come out or personal spends and what out of joint...

Yes, we do £80 into your personal account each week, if I had it monthly, I'd inevitably end up 'treating myself' early on in the month and end up with nothing for the last week or so, the weekly payment prevents this!

Personal spends for us is things purely for yourself, clothes/make up/trips out etc. I'll get the DC sweets or whatever out of my personal money but not clothes etc. It sounds really regimented but we've done it for over 10 years and never run out of money so it definitely works!

I'd say anything that's needed for your children/pets/house (uniform, fence, kids clubs etc) should come out of joint spending. Things that you might want to get for any of those but don't really need (like, I dunno, a sparkly personalised dog collar for the puppy or whatever) would warrant a bit more discussion, or else should come out of personal spending. Anything for you yourself (haircuts, clothes, coffees, Amazon crap) is personal spending.

Anything for kids or house or car or work-related out of joint, anything for yourselves out of personal?

Thank you all this is really helpful

Hi OP.
DH is unemployed but our system was:

1. Each have our own accounts where salaries paid into.
2. Joint account where we each paid our share of the bills into (all rounded up to nearest £50 so there's always extra) as well as a set amount for fuel.
3. Savings account where we used to each pay £50 but I now pay the full £100.

Money left in our own accounts was for food and anything else we wanted or needed for the month.
Can't help with budgeting as we don't have same circumstances as you but we very rarely buy from Amazon (eBay for DVDs or wee extras), don't eat out or have coffee out unless it's a special treat or something (once a month maybe if that).
It's all about classing your spending essential or non essential and that's different for everyone. I.e. can you live without take away coffee for a month or do you REALLY need that new book from Amazon? I know some libraries who do a click and collect service now due to COVID.

Dp and I have added up what needs to go into the joint account each month, we pay half of that in each - we earn about the same although his fluctuates as self employed - and keep the rest for ourselves to save/spend etc. When we book a holiday we pay half each separately.