Ashamed of our debt

[SoAshamedSoAshamed]

I never thought I'd be posting on a forum for support about this but right now I can't talk to anyone (exc DH) about this IRL & I'm crying every day.

We are in a big mess financially. We owe about 70k in a combination of ways (CC, loans, to a family member, overdraft, tax). Luckily we have an asset which we can sell which will hopefully bring in 40k & leave us repaying the other 30k.

I know we won't be destitute as we also have 100k equity in our house which we can downsize if necessary.

My DH is a high earner. But being self employed his payments are irregular. We are starting to be making payments late. We have set wheels in motion to sell our asset & are spending the bare minimum at home. I believe we are at the start of regaining control. However I am constantly on edge. I'm crying. I feel stupid, ashamed. I've been selfish to spend so frivolously. Selfish to prioritise material purchases over repaying debt. I could not feel any worse.

We have 2 young children. I feel so guilty that I'm now crying every day & im on edge, I'm worried they will pick up & be affected by this.

I just would love some moral support. Any stories of people who have got out of a similar situation, are now on the other side? Anyone out there??

@BuildBuildings it could be so much worse! You're right. We are healthy, we have an asset to sell, we have equity in our house, loads of positives to remember.

Selling is not an option at the moment, only a last resort. Our home is liveable in due to the work we've done & we are happy to wait 5 years before doing any other substantial work. We think 4 years to repay the debt is very achievable. We would suffer huge penalties for leaving our mortgage this early & the truth is, right now, we aren't willing to leave this area. We are willing to tighten up to stay where we are as it is a fantastic & very safe place for children to grow up. Don't get me wrong, if things go catastrophic & we have to sell up, we will.

@SoAshamedSoAshamed it sounds to me like you are making a brilliant job of sorting this out, with your positivity and common sense this all sounds very sortable. Honestly, I have friends who have got themselves in much worse messes than this, and I suspect you will know people in just the same if not a worse situation (but who won't admit to it). I hope the asset sale goes well and you get a good price for it. You will have learned so much from this experience that I suspect you'll have a very secure financial base moving forward. Good luck!

@LadyHamilton41 thank you so much for saying this. It honestly means so much to know I'm not alone & our situation can get better, as long as we regain some control.

It sounds like you have a good plan!

When the asset gets sold things will be a lot more manageable.

Keep thinking of ways to tackle it and you will get there!

Stuff you can sell maybe? It's quite satisfying selling things and getting the debt down.

Even little things I mean, even for a few pounds. Local Facebook selling sites etc can be good for this.

Do you have room for a lodger? Or part time e.g. Monday to Friday or 2-3 nights a week. You can earn approx £7kpa tax free.

Or if you live somewhere suitable you could hire out your driveway to commuters ?