Keeping on budget - life gets in the way!

[DebraBarone]

We need to keep to a tight budget for the next few years. If we lived in a little bubble of me, DH and DC I think we’d be fine, but because of events/wider family and friends birthdays/school holidays/school events/Christmas - there’s always something costing us money!
Do you have any tips for how to keep on track. Ways to say no to things without making it awkward. I need to get better at buying gifts in sales throughout the year in advance. Bulk buy cheaper cards etc. Does anyone have any tips for other areas? Things like socialising - we decline expensive invitations and suggest cheaper days out, but little things like even buying coffee when you’re out in a group, with 3 kids it adds up and it’s awkward to be the only one not to do it.
We’re lucky because all bills, living expenses are covered, it’s the discretionary stuff, which a lot of the time doesn’t seem like you have much choice in!

I totally relate to this and will watch with interest. Every month the same there's always something.
All bills etc covered no bother but there's still a little too much month at the end of the money!
I'm almost at the point of putting it in envelopes.

Also following with interest. Have you tried keeping a spending diary for a few months do you can get an honest idea of your outgoing? I think it’s the best place to start.

I use YNAB which helps me see where the money goes, but it’s almost the step before that deciding what you spend your money on and feeling you have to spend money on things you don’t really want to

Having a few "no spend days" per month can help. Literally not even picking up a frozen pizza - have beans on toast instead. If you go to the park on those days then np ice cream, take a picnic instead.

Always have a bottle of wine, a kids birthday card with a fiver in and a cake or packet of nicer biscuits (to take to other's homes / invite people back for a brew) in the house. Offer to host inexpensively eg 3pm friends over for a cuppa while kids play. Suggest combining family events so go out once for all the August birthdays and just casually meet up the rest of the time. Cut out alcohol.

Like any targets saving should be specific (an amount in mind), measurable (YNAB or just keep a close ye on bank statement), achieveable (so not just a blanket ban on treats!), relevant and time-limited (so a relaxation in December might make sense).

Good luck!

If you really can't avoid coffees then make sure you are using loyalty cards. Sainsbury's cafe do cheap drinks and you can save/spend points. Costa does free plain babychinos. Be firm and tell children they can have drink or something to eat. I usually say drink as 'we're having dinner soon'.

it is August. get in touch with family and friends and agree an adult present ceasefire for birthdays and the festival of sparkly tat. massive time, clutter and cash waster so stop it now.

Seek out new friends who are on the same wavelength, budget-wise, and be upfront with your current friends about your budget/reasons for needing to go for less expensive forms of entertainment!

I think you've just got to be honest, say you cant afford it if you cant.

Plan your free time with lots of good value activities, so when you get invited out, you will be refusing on the basis that you CANT attend, as you have other plans.

Become a master at finding free or low cost activities. For example, we have English heritage membership, so always have a free day out to hand if we are at a loose end. Groupon also have good deals.

I bet that once friends and family see you out and about all the time, they will probably want to go as well.

We take a packed lunch when we go out. We will make s really enjoyable picnic which is much nicer than onsite eateries. The money we save on food goes towards once creams or a meal out at another time.

I buy cheap sweets and toys from the pound shop in lieu of expensive gift shop items. I tell my children that their gifts are in the car, so it get them to the car quickly when we want to leave.

I budget for family birthdays and Xmas so my nieces and nephews get 30 each for birthday and 30 for xmas so I add this up and devide by 12 then save that amount monthly.Adults in the family we don't buy for apart from my mum and parents in law and then it's not a huge gift. Again budget for it. I buy loads of cards from the works and card factory and Costco do fab cards. Party presents I buy as I see them on sale and always have a great gift for a couple of quid. I never buy coffee out I bought a couple of contigo cups and use them. When you thibk you are paying 3 quid for what is basically hot water and some coffee it's a huge waste. Also take packed lunches and drinks everywhere.

Well, I think you either need to make peace with the fact that you DO want to spend that money, or turn down invites. Im fairly open about being on a massive belt tightening spree, I'll say "sorry, I'm having a belt tightening initiative- but come to us/the park instead!". And I pick up decent kids bits from Lidl/aldi when I see them, for the present cupboard.
Do you have a (small) socialising line in your budget, and a xmas and birthdays one?

I do my own baking so I would always take a cake or biscuits as a hostess gift. I would have a picnic in the park or invite people round for tea and cake rather than meeting in a cafe. Browse your local charity shops, sometimes you can find suitable things that would be nice for presents. It is also fine to regift things such as toiletries, chocolate, wine or other things as long as one is discreet and also confident that the recipient would genuinely like it. Also, homemade presents can be nice. I am planning a basket of homemade biscuits, scones, toffee and blackberry brandy for a neighbour this Christmas. An attractive mug with some sweets in can make a nice present too.

Re cheaper cards, I buy packs of 10 notelet cards from National Trust shops for about £4. You can find ones suitable for children too. These do very well as birthday cards and work out at about 40p each.

I'm watching as it could almost be me who wrote this, right down to the YNAB!

I'm on mat leave at the min and while we are ok for money day to day, it's more the other, unexpected expenses and upcoming Xmas and lots of birthdays which are making me feel a bit stressed!

Sometime ago my siblings and I decided on a no gifts for each other policy at Christmas, and a tenner limit for each niece and nephew for Christmas. Because there's loads of us

We ask for an NT membership as a Christmas present to the family from our parents, and we use it loads.

I find cards and kids presents in tkmaxx and also the book people website.

I just tell people I'll buy coffee and ice creams when out, but lunch will be brought with me. Someone in my family has a food allergy and sometimes there's very little he can eat in coffee shops so I often use it as an excuse if I'm honest.

The majority of our friends are happy to go along with the days out which don't involve spending heaps, because their own finances aren't unlimited. The few big spenders just get seen less often, we just turn down invitations if we don't want to spend a lot on a day out they've picked.

Im desperate to stop spending too. But 1 in college, and 2 in school and the trips mount up. Were always out and about and struggle to sit diwn to eat a meal together. Usually its a quick burger and chips, beans on toast, salad etc. We spend a lot on petrol so cut down on clothes etc.

Don’t really go out but i like a bottle of wine on a weekend, or a couple of beers.

But kids to eat a lot, they need it

The Works have 20 birthday cards for £1. Not brilliant but perfectly adequate.

If you're using YNAB, you're presumably following Rule 2 embracing your true expenses. It sounds like you're budgeting down to zero without accounting for the irregular or less frequent spends. Have you got categories for birthdays, meals out, school events? Because they keep happening, so not budgeting for them won't help.

You should be aiming to let funds build up in these categories - by way of example, I have categories for things like TV licence and Christmas, which I put money into all year round. Plus things like car maintenance, which I aim to keep a certain amount floating in, so I can cover most car repairs without having to find the money from elsewhere.

That said, if you don't want to budget for eating out, that is entirely your choice, but you will need to plan ahead - bring the kids cartons of juice from home, or water bottles, or offer to host more stuff at your house (not sure that will work out cheaper, though!).

If you've been YNABbing for a while, I would have a look at how much you're spending in certain categories. I assume when something crops up like a school event, you're recording the expense, how are you categorising it? Ideally you'd be proactively budgeting each month, not just copying the values from last month?

I divide my disposable (after all bills except food and fuel) by 30 days of the month and have a daily amount.
Start the month with 3000 and watch it daily, so 1500 by the 15th and only 100 left on the 30th.
Money not spent at the end of each day (yes £4.50) gets transferred to savings or credit dept etc.

Watching with interest, some good tips, totally agree it’s hard.

I agree with specialsubject presents not happening this year, other than DC.

Who are you going out with re the drinks with children? If family just tell you can’t afford to keep doing X and will either bring a flask of coffee/snacks time events so that DC aren’t hungry. If friends then suggest as above that you do coffee mornings at home.

Other than that, write down everything you spend, look at what isn’t actually necessary and decide how much to save. Then stick to that.

Clearly op economised on internet access!

The card factory, if there’s one near you, usually has an offer of so many cards for a pound.

Birthday presents for kids parties. I scour Morrison’s and Gap outlets for tshirts, I can usually pick them up for about £3. Put that with a book or a big bag of sweets and that’s a gift for between £4-8. I’ve got a few tshirts waiting for parties that I got for £1.

And have a Christmas account. Even if you can save a quid a week, it’s something.