Dealing with just not having the money to join in

[minimammy]

We haven't had a non camping holiday for years. I earn a pittance as a teaching assistant. We decided to go all out this year to get my 5 year old on a plane and a holiday in the sun. He loves seeing aeroplanes, my 10 year old has been on one holiday.
I've budgeted immensely, I knew it would be tight even though it was the cheapest self catering apartment I could find and the cheapest flights.
We are managing without events and meals out ( not that we are ever super fancy) but I'm finding my social circle and friends are not really understanding that I don't have spending money and that I don't have anyone to just borrow from. Partly as they are so well off I think, when they say they are skint they're just joining in the conversation.🤷🏻‍♀️
What can I do so that they know I'm not just being awkward, but not make them feel uncomfortable ?

Have I understood this right - you're prioritising a holiday abroad, so no meals or nights out etc this year?

If so, I think it's just a case of arranging cheap things to do and declining expensive invites with a reiteration that you're prioritising the holiday. Not that your skint - people might feel uncomfortable at that; but more importantly, they'll presume there's places you can cut back to join them or offer you money as a loan. It makes it awkward. Just repeat that you can only do cheap stuff and would they rather come over for a glass of wine or something instead.

My only concern would be that if your social group is a going out type; you might find yourself quite isolated if they eventually stop inviting you through non attendance; but I'm guessing that's something you've considered.

I hope the holiday is great!

I’d just be honest and say you are saving for a holiday and can’t afford it. If they have any issue with that then the problem lies with them and I wouldn’t worry about making them feel uncomfortable

I totally where you are coming from mini I am also a teaching assistant and yes we do earn pittance and I have high flying, at the height of their career friends who in the past of not realised that I just can't afford to do all the things that they can. I have been upfront with them that I need to prioritise say, paying after school care for DS as opposed to going out. They are lovely, and they totally understand that I can't go out with them as often but I do make sure that I keep in touch with them, invite them over etc, go for a coffee and, occasionally, go out on a cheap night out with them.

Hopefully, your friends will be just as understanding. Enjoy your holidays

I’d say I’m saving for a holiday. Surely everyone can understand you’d rather spend money on that.

Can you see them in other ways? Not out for dinner? So there's no way they can feel you're not prioritising their friendship itself? Tell them it's just a temporary thing too?

Thank you for replies.
@FoolandFitz that is my circumstance too yes.
I think maybe I need to work on my hosting and venture to have them here maybe. They would just have to persevere with the children being around.😄