Just taken on a bigger mortgage and I hate my job

[Star2015]

Hi,

I feel like a troublesome soul at the moment and don't quite know where to to.

After going through redundancy this year I got a new job at just above the salary I was previously earning. The job is exactly the same (on paper) as my last one so there shouldn't be any issues with the transition.

Around the same time a dream house came onto the market in an area we have always wanted to live. We had my redundancy money to use as a deposit and we are both working so no worries taking on a bigger mortgage (£1000 a month).

The trouble is, I hate my new job. I feel as though I don't fit in there despite really trying to fit in. It should be the same job but it's like it's completely different. The team I look after on the whole aren't bad but the most troublesome person on the department they have put with me. My days are long, 12 hours a day so I'm tired all the time and I really just want to quit and find something else.

However, I've got to a great level of pay due to hard work and determination and without any high level qualifications so any job I take now with incurr a £10k + pay cut and I don't know how we'll cope with the new mortgage...

I feel like I'm in such a mess and from the outside I'd probably read this and think just pull your socks up and get on with it but the jobs making me ill

Anyone else been in this situation before or any advice as to what I can do?

Hi Star, am in a similar predicament. Job I loved has just come to an end, job that's lined up for me next I know I am going to hate...sick at the thought of it already. But I'm a single parent with a mortgage and it will be my only source of income.

How long have you been in your new role? Is there potential for your feelings towards it improving?

Have you worked out a full income/expenditure forecast to see a) where you could save money, b) potential to make money from another source?

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are in a similar situation, and thanks for responding.

I've been in my current role for just 4 months, and unless my new manager leaves, my peers change and some of the people from my new team leave it's really unlikely things will change.

I need to sit down and work out properly what our outgoings are and where we can make cutbacks then I will know then what kind of pay cut I can take.

I'm finding it hard to look for other jobs as I'm so physically and mentally and emotionally drained by the time I get home and weekends have been up until now spent getting things done in the new house.

Hope your situation sorts itself outmum4fergus and thanks for reading and commenting Xx

It's early days in the job to be fair but being in same position (v difficult manager) I won't minimise that.

Budget is a great place to start...is the work on the house essential or could you put it off for a couple of months to let you focus on finding a new role?

I use my Fri afternoons (finish at 1) to plan out next steps for work...granted nothing fruitful at the moment but I'm hopeful something will come up.

Could you look to rent out a room to get an income from that?

I think the fact that it is the people rather than the job itself you're struggling with in some ways is positive as there is more scope for change.

I had a similar issue in my last job and was lucky enough to be given a mentor outside the firm who helped me work through the issues. At the start, I had some challenges with my manager - overly hands off and disinterested - and serious problems with two colleagues who were both beyond difficult. The mentor helped me try new approaches with all of them- her approach was, well you hate the job and think you'll leave, so use this as a learning opportunity to trial different approaches with different people.

With my manager, we recognised that he loved the work but hated managing, so we figured out a way to discuss my needs with him framed in terms of the work, and I basically focused on identifying ways I could scale back my expectations of him and prioritise things he wasn't doing that only he could do and most impacted on me. That really worked.

One of the difficult colleagues, I identified that part of the reasons she was so prickly and awkward was because she was very competitive and saw me as a rival. I sat her down and had a v frank discussion with her, basically stressing that my priority was my workload, and when we were struggling on communication and I was getting frustrated by being left out of things, it wasn't that I was trying to elbow into her role, but that I felt I needed that info to do my job. It went really, really well. To my amazement we actually ended up with a good personal relationship.

The second person, was awful. Nothing worked with her. But ultimately, fixing the other parts meant I could cope with her until I was able to find a new job. It may help you if you say: right, I'll give it six months and try a few steps, and use that time to save a buffer for the mortgage, and if that doesn't work I'll leave. I think the worst part is feeling you have no control.