an Ostentatiously Austere October...join here for a frugal month ahead!

[PeoniesforMissAnnersley]

All welcome to join the MN frugaleers for another month of recording our spends, frugal wins and frugal fails!

NSD = No Spend Day (let's have as many as possible!)

LSD = Low Spend Day

Ended up having a reasonably good LSD today. My wonderful mum ended up paying for so much I came home with nearly half what I took. She is just so amazing.

Aiming for 3 NSD's this week and at least one LSD.

Did well and stuck to my foid budget exactly on the weekend so really happy with that. First time for everything.

£14 lunch
£32 clothing for dc in tesco
£28 in sainsburys

£52 petrol including £6 off will last two weeks
£38 saucepans. Dp paid.

Ouch.

I went to Asda to get DS2's packed lunch stuff and ended up doing a full shop. £76 but I feel I got a lot for my money and we have enough food in. I made veggie burgers from scratch. No one liked them. I took it personally and said I am going without so that the kids can have lots of things they like to eat and ds1 said "don't buy it then." . He said later he meant not to buy stuff they don't like but given they are constantly changing what they will eat htf am I supposed to know what they will eat this week?

I have told them I will cook what I have bought but after that they can have jacket spud every night.

I love cooking and hate that they just want fucking nuggets and chips given half the chance. It is my job to give them a healthy varied diet and they have got into an annoying habit of leaving food they don't' want to eat then coming back at night saying they are hungry. No? Really? [fucked off] DH said just make the same 7 things. Boring.

SpottyTeackes remember when you strain the stock that you want the liquid and not the bones...

I am publicly stating I WILL NOT buy any more food this week and am just allowed to buy milk - though shouldn't as there seems to be 16-20 pints in the fridge.

Can we also use this thread for posting cupboard items for people to suggest meals? I know pretty much what we will all eat this week but there might be the odd day where I need an idea.

Itsfab can you imagine me draining it down the sink?!
I take it personally when the dc don't like my food too. They only get bread and butter after if they really don't like it. If dd's just being difficult she doesn't get anything.
How old are they? Can you meal plan with them? I can imagine it gets much harder once they're older.

The boys are 9 and 13 and my DD is eleven.

I can't think of anything all three will eat but I will meal plan with them for next week and they can't flipping moan about not liking it.

I feel the more I do the less nice they are too me.

I feel DS gas lights me in so much as he was just yelling at me asking what he has done that is so bad and why won't I let him do XYZ. He also refused to get rid of a dead bird GirlCat caught unless I let him have XYZ. .

DH has gone canoeing. Can't say I blame him.

I am so miserable. The kids hate each other. Treat me like shit. Do fuck all to help and the bit they do do they moan about.

I am in pain at the moment, are not supposed to be carrying anything, and they are just horrible to be around. I am a horrible shouty mum who resents my kids.

Itsfab oh dear, you sound so fed up you poor thing It is so demoralising to be trying to make nice tasty meals for everyone else to turn their noses up at it. When DD was about 12 she went through a phase of eating very little of proper meals but then half an hour later she was stuffing on rubbish because she was hungry. I was so cross. The only thing I did to regain a bit of control was to say that if she didn't like the meal I was cooking, that she would have bread instead. She likes bread so this wasn't too harsh I didn't feel. I also didn't buy any treaty bits for her to eat instead. I think at this sort of age they are 'testing' us, and it is a very hard time. They do come out the other side though. DD is now 18 and takes a very dim view of friends who are too 'fussy' as she doesn't view it as very grown-up behaviour! She has erased all memory of when she was like it and she was really very fussy indeed.

Also, that is an excellent idea to post up store-cupboard ingredients as often fellow frugaleers have brilliant ideas on how to make them into a meal.

That sounds really tough. I think they're old enough for a serious chat. 'Respect works two ways and I'm fed up of the way you're all behaving. Until you can show me that you can behave like decent human beings I will only be doing the stuff that I need to do for you not the stuff you want me to do. I will be buying the food that I like and cooking that, if you want something else you buy it yourself. You can all have your own plate, bowl, cutlery and glass, if it's not washed up then I will serve it on your dirty plate . If your clothes aren't in your wash basket I won't wash them and you will have to go to school in dirty uniform.' I know nothing about this age though, sorry.

I say there will be no extras and then I am in the kitchen baking nice bread or muffins . I love baking and it is what I do when I am feeling and need to keep busy.

I am definitely going to get them to sit down together [God help us) and will only write meals they will ALL eat every time and see where we go from there. Given that there is probably 4 things and DS1 commented they had had jacket spud twice in a week that should be fun.

We went to the park. I had got cross and DH was out so I thought a change of scenery and all at the park would be good. We took a football. DD played with DS2 for about a minute and then everything that came out of her mouth was unkind to them or rude to me. She called DS2 an idiot, made comments about him not being able to do X as he needs a brain cell for that and said she didn't like the boys . I just said about it and she said they won't care but I know they do. She really is horrible to them and I believe she genuinely does not like them. Yesterday she was horrible to DS2 and later I heard her chatting to him nicely as they made cereal together .

DS1 moans I nag. They have a job list. The jobs are clean the table and chairs, empty the dishwasher, sweep the floor and give the cats fresh water so they all have 2 different jobs a day and sometimes they have to do a job once, other times it can be 3 times. I also ask they put their washing in the basket or drop/bring it down if there isn't one and tell me in the morning if they have put on their last school trousers/shirt. The last one matters less now I have to iron every night.

I constantly have to remind them about their kitchen jobs, about putting their PE kit to wash, about putting both socks in the basket the right way round, to stop putting trousers and shirts in the wash with one leg and arm inside out. If they just did what I asked....

No one ever goes hungry in my house but sometimes they have to eat something they like but isn't their favourite or they don't fancy it right then. Oh no

And as for the amount of times I have gone to use a pan, plate serving spoon and discovered it has been put away dirty . I have told them I will serve their dinner up on a dirty plate if it happens again. I may as well have spoken to them in Chinese.

SpottyTeacakes you have a good handle on kids though! How old are yours?

Last week I did a dash to catch DD before the bus came then to school when I didn't make it all because she forgot her PE kit. DH was not impressed and when I texted her to say I knew she would forget it when I gave it to her she asked me why I didn't remind her if I knew she would forget it and when we spoke later about the hassle and the worry about getting DS2 to school on time she said I didn't ask you to bring it. So I won't do that again! I just don't' want the school to think we aren't supportive parents but the more running around and arse wiping I do for them the less they respect me. They don't think I do very much I think. Hero daddy brings in Money, I don't and when DS1 was small he did say I was his skivvy .

Everything is just there whenever they need it.

Mine are 22months and 4. Most of the time I feel like the worst, shouty mum ever! I think taking a step back is a good idea. If dd gets in trouble at school you can always phone them and tell them you're trying to get her to be more responsible, I'm pretty sure they'd agree with you!

Maybe if 2/3 of your dc like a specific meal the third could have something different (something simple and convenient or left over from the night before).

I remember my step mum cooking us all separate meals we never asked her to she just asked us each to write what meals we would like and got them!!

I've really felt the 'hamster wheel' of parenting this week and I only have one! itsfab when is your DH back? You need a break!

NSD today (hooray) but spent so much yesterday - £14 Aldi, £40 Santa tickets, £40 ikea, £16 ikea lunch (I paid for visiting friend), £7 on extras for dinner as friend decided to stay! £117 - ouch. I think the plan of having £100 left by Tuesday might be failing!

Most of my ikea spends was on...LED lightbulbs! We had 8 that needed replacing in spotlights. fluffy please don't make me feel sick by telling me that I could have got them much cheaper than £4 each it was kind of one of those 'have to get them now or we'll never get around to it'. I am not exaggerating when I say that 5 out of the 6 lights in the hallway have needed replacing for going on 4 years!! (When one does the job this kind of task falls off our radar!) and we were down to 3 out of 4 in the kitchen. I didn't plan to buy LED but that seemed to be all that was on sale in ikea.

Ok, we seem to have lots of food so may not need to shop much this week. However we do have potatos, spinach, leeks and mozzarella that I'm not sure what to do with (I was going to make leek and potato soup but as I made veggie soup at the weekend it could be soup over-load to have it again!)

Oh and amazingly (although not taking it for granted yet) yesterday at ikea I couldn't find dd's dummy and she said 'that's because Father Christmas has taken it' (she must have picked up on us talking about it) so we decided to just go with it and she hasn't had her dummy now since yesterday morning!! She slept really well! She did ask for it this morning but after reminding her that it has gone she has just accepted it. She hasn't had a melt-down situation yet so that could be the real test!

Sometimes DD will have a tin of soup when everyone else is having lasagne but then I got fed up as she will eat spag bol so why not lasagne? I am going with the write your meals down as I tried the opposite way and got them to write what they won't eat and that clearly did not work as they wouldn't eat X when I made it even though none of the ingredients were on their won't eat list. Last month she ate a mushroom and tomato pasta thing even though she doesn't like tomatoes, onions or pasta. I also found myself blending the tinned tomatoes last week when I was making something so she wouldn't moan about the bits .

I took the kids to the park, SixforGold and DH was home by the time we got back. He fed the kids and has just walked through the door with dinner for us. A real treat and no something we have very often at all.

Dd has been told to shower and go to bed. DS1 is watching a seven wonders of the world dvd and DS2 is playing with the trains.

I am feeling blue as they will all be at school tomorrow and I will hardly see them .

sixforgold how about baking the spinach and mozzarella for this omelette and a gratin to use up the potato and leek?

I've just put £70 in my savings account. Trying to cut back is paying off no question about it.

Spent £45 in Morrisons. Only went for a few things including their 3 for £10 on meat but they had load of stuff reduced and as I had lots of freezer space that needed fillling I thought I'd fill it. I now have plenty of bread, all sorts of pies, fruit and veg and various other things

The kids are 9, 11 (DD) and 13 and the older one likes to bake and is very good but apart from once making sandwiches for himself and DS2 they haven't cooked a meal. I need to change that definitely and I am going to put a reminder in my phone for half term. They can pick a meal, go to the shop and get the ingredients (after they have come round from fainting) and then make it. Brilliant idea. Though I know it will used as a way to pick on their siblings if one moans the cook will definitely moan at them when the moaner cooks even if they like it .

Itsfab I have one like that, the more I do the less it is appreciated. Every so often I tell her that I'm doing nothing for her. My thinking is if what I do isn't "good enough" then I won't continue to waste my energy on it. So she currently has no clean school uniform for tomorrow. She knows how to use the washing machine.

This week cook what you want to eat. Next week, WRT to each refusing different things, you could tell them they each get to chose one meal per week, it has be something all of you eat and the other two just have to cooperate. Maybe get them involved in prep if there's time.

Not sure if we're going shopping today, DH is feeling the effects of yesterday's carpentry and he's only half way through the job.

Sorry, x post.

That sounds nice and easy NK5bM3 thank you. I shall have a go at that next week. I must use the slow cooker more again, it's been sat in the cupboard all summer until DS got it out again.

There are some things that he cooks that have an acquired taste, such as chocolate ravioli, but mostly he is doing a great job. But he is doing competitions and cooking is definitely one of his interests. Needless to say that I am hugely supportive.

I have said so many times when you are upset by your brother doing X they feel exactly the same when you do it to them but she doesn't seem to get empathy. None of them do as they complain when they are upset but still dish it out.

I am looking forward to a new way of shopping and cooking and just hope it doesn't mean I can't do a huge variety and try new things. I am a good cook and feel it is wasted on this lot at times.

Itsfab Perhaps if they respect that "Dad brings in the money" then you need to make sure Dad is onside with you on this. Do they get pocket money or an allowance of some sort? Give them a list of chores and deduct money for any chores they haven't done or haven't done properly (not perfect, obviously, just properly). Then once that is established, if they are not doing the chores and just ignoring the money, add that if someone's chore isn't done by xxx deadline, it can be "subcontracted" to a sibling, and when that particular chore money is "deducted" from the child who didn't do it (deducted as in withheld from pocket money), then that amount will go to the child that DID do it.

"subcontracted" by a sibling through YOU, I might add. Not through the errant child.