An Avalanche of Austerity for April - Mumsnet frugaleers continue!

[MissAnnersleyismyhero]

Thought I'd start a new thread for April

Fluffy I signed up to that credit report thing and it said my credit score is excellent

Yay! Do NOT forget to cancel it by phone, say no to 0870 have a free number you can ring. They try and offer you a discount but just say no.

Unlike dh, who forgot. I'm over it now lies.

fluffy perhaps laws are different from UK to NL/DK, because if my DP would clear out of saving, it would show in the transactions and then I would be able to "claim it back" and he then had to prove that it was taken with my acceptance. But I see that bad things can always happen, and I genuiarly believe that each family should do what fits them best. For us it is defn having shared account.

When we tried to get the police involved they said its a civil matter

I'd be interested too if you can claim back if a partner empties a joint account in the uk. It is essentially theft isn't it?.

fluffy it is fraud/theft and by standard EU banking law you can claim that it was taken without your acknowledge and acceptance. But if his name was not even on the account, I am afraid he does not have the right over the account. But howcome his name was not on, if it was his saving? Sorry if I am asking to sensitive questions. I have a bank degree, so have helped many ppl in the past claiming money back/sorting debt when going to splits/divorces.
If they had a joint saving account, where the money was on, then he has to inform the bank/solicitor doing the divorce papers, that money was taken without his knowledge and accept and that he want to fill a "claim back". I am sorry I only know the Danish words of this, but we distinguise between taking the money in evil believe or good believe. Evil believe is if you are in the middle of a divoice/if you take all money out and inform of seperation the next day ect; meaning if you had a bad intention behind. Good believe is if you have a joint saving and the one part take out some money for a trip out and then the other person actually needed this money for a bill.
Hope it makes sence.

Just found this on a UK site
If one spouse empties an account in contemplation of divorce or after divorce papers have been filed, there is some recourse. The purpose of divorce proceedings is the equitable distribution of assets and responsibilities, so the contents of a bank account, whether removed or not, are still assets and the court will attempt to distribute them fairly.

He trusted her, she put the money into her name & he never thought she'd do any of the things she did. We hit a brick wall at every turn with the savings.

I had her arrested twice though and taken to court for something else though.

Dh tells all the young lads he works with to not let one person handle all the finances because he still works with men in their twenties say "as long as I've got my beer money I let her get on with it".

Then it seems that the money is lost and a very hard lesson to learn. I would never ever let my partner have only his name on anything that I contribute too, because that is basically to give the other person the money/item.
Both my partner and me have full visibility off all accounts and none of us do only the finance part. I am the budget nerd and budget/maintain the netbank, but he has clear views over it and we often discuss it an adjust after both of our views.
But that is probably the chance you take with joint accounts, that you need to trust. On the other hand without joint account, then if something did happen to your partner, you had no right over their belonings, and I have had cases while working in the bank, where the widow had to sell house, cars ect., because there were no joint account or testament.
Its always difficult when it comes to money, so the advice I gave in the bank was always follow what suits you family best, look out for the advantage/disadvantage of each choice and try to minimize the disadvantages; eg. we have joint account but a written agreement signed by both of us how to handle in case of divorce/death ect.

Right back from the Easter-fest, I seriously don't know what I am going to do with all of the eggs, think I will take some into work on Tuesday for the team.

Sorry if I have made the thread all serious, i realise that a lot of what I've said might actually be more appropriate for the relationship board but i'm here to sort out my finances but can see how this is entwined with my relationship. Those of you who say have everything going in and out of a joint account I am totally with you- honest. Thats what I think would really work best, not only for the fact that I have found myself neck deep in debt but it would mean that as a family we could plan/ save better/ decide to do things around the house. We both earn a good salary and there is no reason why we should be in the state we are. We do not go out/ away on holiday all the time but i am sure we could if we thought more carefully about our money, we could have a proper nest egg and savings for DD. thats what i want most of all. But i have honestly tried and tried with my DH to explain every which way I can how this would be best and he has tried every excuse in the book why it wouldn't work (for him that is though). I realise that this is selfish on his part and doesn't make commonsense but I don't actually know what else I can do. other than LTB So I would totally welcome any suggestions as to how I can best explain this to him further without bringing the thread down or making this about relationships- if someone has been in the same position and able to "convince" their OH then I am all ears. :)

Thanks so much for all of the other money saving tips. I am going to look online this evening for the % credit card too. Planning to meal plan before heading to the shops tomorrow but i know i have things like green thai curry paste, coconut milk in the cupboard that have been knocking around a while so may do some batch cooking with that. also have 2 tins of chickpeas i have acquired from somewhere.

Spent £46 on Easter lunch... And then £15 on ice cream and a Peppa pig soft toy. Ridiculous.

Re joint accounts... I feel for you lizard. If anything, I was like your dh. Or rather, I was of that mindset, that what was mine is mine, what's his is his... We both pooled x amount of money into the joint account for the monthly outgoings, like mortgage, bills, eating out etc. but if it's his pub night, or my hairdresser, then it's our own money. That's about right I think.

Then he got made redundant... Obviously not his fault, and I was always the higher wage earner anyway, so of course, I started covering all our outgoings - mortgage, bills etc. I was very resentful tbh. When I was on maternity leave twice, I continued to cover my share of expenditure... That's perhaps because I had a significant chunk of money in my isa. I paid the deposit for our first house because I had saved a chunk of money whilst I was overseas....

Anyways...

Two years on, I still pay for most things. He's self employed and when he can afford to, he contributes a few hundred to the joint account. I'm happy when he can.. But I'm just rather crossed (not with him but with the situation) that he works damn hard and yet doesn't earn what I think a professional should earn, even though his job is one of those that's classed as a professional, takes a longer time to qualify from than a medical degree!

I recently got a promotion and a small pay rise. And dc2 has finally qualified for the 15h free nursery (big difference when we go full time!)... But we are really v stretched. We went from double professional incomes with no kids, to one professional income, two kids (at one point we had two lots of nursery fees!). Huge rethink!

Not sure what I'm trying to say - I do hope you do manage to sort things out....

Thanks NK. Hope you enjoyed that Easter meal!

I am totally with you re the 15 hours, it makes a huge difference doesn't it?

Right i have done the cash back credit score thingy and mine is excellent! Felt slightly sick at the history of my financial situation laid bare but it is what it is. Forgot about some credit agreements that I had stuff like vertdebut , even though the balance is zero- i have only used it once or twice since DD was born, should i get rid of it? Off to look at CCs. With the cashback thing so do you usually have to buy something to get cashback? Is that how it works? Ta

Yes close your old credit accts. the cash back with cc I was talking about was if you go through topcashback then you get the money from opening the credit card account. You def don't want a cash back credit card as you're trying to pay it off so won't be spending on it

It looks better to lenders if you don't have un-used credit available to you.

At least that's what R4 said.

Cashback can be earned on online shopping, switching energy providers, car & home insurances, switching bb providers etc. Basically anything I want to buy I check on there first. Grocery shopping, click and collect orders etc.

Aldi voucher in the mirror on Thursday.

Thanks guys. Right did the CC application the Halifax one seemed good so I have done that but it says that it will email me back in 4 days, is that normal? Also balance for doing that via top cashback isnt showing on my TCB account yet, is it probably only if you are approved?

Fluffy I know that closing an acct can temporarily alter your credit score but wasn't sure if having available credit was good. I can see why it would be but I would be worried it's too easily accessible. I have no self control though

Sometimes it tracks as zero then changes when the transaction goes through. Nothing to stop you opening two cc a few months apart if halifax don't give you enough credit to transfer the whole balance.

R4's money matters program is very good. It's on the iplayer.

Apparently un-used credit is bad in lenders eyes. I think some of them got badly stung in the recession though.

Hi all, fluffy sorry to hear about what happened to DH, that kind of thing would eat me up. I was with a guy for 6 years and paid for virtually everything. I could have had thousands in savings if it wasn't for him.
lizard apologies for my rant earlier. I have been racking my brains and I can't think of a single reason why separate accounts would be preferable to a joint account. Sorry that is not useful. Maybe my previous relationship and it's imbalance financially has made me go the other way, i just like it all out in the open.
62 on online shop today, for delivery on wed.

I think he has seen how shit I am with mine over the years & has always been the one to rein things in or find cash if we need it for a rainy day.

queenie (sorry I can't call you lizard) it seems it's an ongoing issue? You have to be really honest about yourself (to yourself and DH) about your attitude to money and how it's impacted you and your relationship. If it's an ongoing issue of overspending and not just a recent thing, you probably need to understand why you do what you do with money.

I'd really like to recommend reading Alvin Hall's You and Your Money because it will give you an insight to your spending habits. In fact, I think everyone should read it.

Nodding away here at those last comments- I completely agree.

Gogo I don't think you were ranting at all and please don't apologise I know what you are saying makes complete sense and I am very much in agreement. I am not quite sure how I found myself in this situation, without sounding passive, I guess before we had DD we split up the bills I earned less than him but much much better than I do now, i have returned to work PT and at a lower level so my earnings have been hit. He seems quite possessive over his money which I really don't like.

Cadbury- It is an ongoing issue, when I came out of University many moons ago, I had accumulated a lot of debt. I didnt have much teaching or advice given to me at the time about how best to handle my money and quickly got myself into debt by buying a new car and then moving out of home and getting a mortgage. I could afford it based on my salary but rather than making the sacrifices or sensible choices that people do when they first move out, like sharing, renting, not going out as much or away on holidays, i continued to do it all getting myself into debt at a young age. That debt continued when I met DH and so when i say about a rainy day when I got to the end of the month and had zilch DH would help out. Gosh saying all of that no wonder he doesn't see me as a safe bet financially. Anyway, I took voluntary redundancy after having DD, I had had an awful pregnancy, pre-eclampsia and I couldnt see how i could go back and do the job I was doing PT so opted to take the money and leave. This enabled me to pay off lots of old debt and be left with an amount of money to "live on" whilst I was at home with DD. but even now I look back and know I wasn't sensible with it at all :( So thats about the sum of my life history for this evening! I cannot thank you all enough for your very warm welcome, you go onto some threads not just on here but other sites and people say hello and are friendly but you have all really taken me under your wings and I feel that you are all rooting for me! I know now that this is beyond paying of that debt and that cc as if I do not get to the bottom of this and learn how to live within my means then I will find myself in this situation again and again.

Fri & Sat NSDs, Sunday £15 on veg and fruit, almost enough for the week, from greengrocer's 2 hours drive from home. I didn't drive two hours just for cheap veg, bought it on the way home from our weekend.

Will catch up tomorrow, hope eveyone is having a good Esater.

Lizard I know LTB seems extreme but if you continue as you are I can see nothing but resentment building and destroying your relationship anyway. How can you have a future when he may be able to afford nice things and you can't treat yourself to coffee and cake? If he saves to go on holiday is he going to leave you and dd behind? What's going to happen if you had another child? Long term what will happen when you both retire, him on his cosy company pension and you scrapping by on a state one?

Personally I would do one of 2 things. I would either be somewhat petty and say if he wants you to support yourself and dd then you will be claiming child benefit and you will be billing half a weeks childcare (1.5 days of nursery and 1 day to cover your 'cost'). I'd also stop doing his washing etc, if he wants a separate life let him have one in full.

And/or which I have found effective in past is to ask dh if this is what he wants for dc. Dh used to have mammoth childish strops, a trait he inherited from his df. When it was just the 2 of us I ignored him but it really started to bother me once we had dc. We sat down and I said he is their biggest role model and he realised he doesn't want dd to pick a partner that does the same and he certainly doesn't want ds to start doing it as he can see it's an unattractive quality. He's not totally broken the habit but he's much improved. How would your dh feel if your dd worked a 70 week for minimum wage and bought all her clothes from Asda while her dh bought in 70k and wore lovely things. It's the same as your situation. You need to model a healthy, equal relationship. I'm sorry for the rant but I don't see why you should struggle because you both choose to have a child.

Going out to get some new shoes for dc but dm is paying . May have lunch a Debenham's and then make yet another trip to the park.

It's my dad's birthday today so going to see him. Dp is working so should be a nsd.

Lizard, finance should be a joint operation, but if it's not, then either LTB or decide to become an excellent domestic accountant and improve your own position.

1. Use something like You Need A Budget to manage everyday spending, and take advantage of their free online tutorials to set it up and use it properly.
2. See an independent financial advisor and work out how much you need to earn and save independently in order to have a degree of financial security .
3. Organise a proper pension for yourself.
4. Work full time, or at least in a field that pays a lot more. Make it happen for yourself.

You may have been lacking advice as a young adult but really that was then and this is now. A different time altogether, and you are a different person. You can do this.

This school holiday is costing a fortune in terms of day to day stuff. Plus it's DS's birthday and party and he desperately needs a couple of pairs of new trousers. It's official. All his trousers have holes at the knee. Right knee to be precise.