Just to put the folowing into context: I've always loosely followed fashions general trends (e.g. moved from bootcut to skinnies). On a day to day basis Ive generally dressed to please myself and do shopping school run in various: out to lunch/v casual/dressed for soft play. So I can be leggings under a coat and biker boots one day to smart boots daydress the next. The same with hair and make up.
This is the one single thing that has happened to me in the last three years that I has really got under my skin. I was wendied. This person was snide about how others looked/dressed/parented. I just retreated there was never a confrontation. I would love to tell her what I really think of her (this is me putting it mildly and politely) Now ive stepped back I can see she is not all that, she has more front than selfridges and some things dont add up about her.
At times, say when getting dressed that day, she has been on my shouder like a gremlin. I can hear her comments in my head. Though I know in reality I am of little concern to her. I still dress to please myself but I still her the gremlin. Sometimes I'm smug, sometimes I think I'll just slunk past depending on what I am wearing. I saw her recently with a new coat on (proably a sale buy) I immediately dissected her choice, even though I know I have a coat the sameish style way better quality and cut than hers. This is what made me want to go out and see if I could find something new to admittedly 'out do'. I have never ever behaved like this before. It is like the cold war with coats (and cars - seperate story).
What has really riled me as she has done this to someone else and has been caught out telling lies. I depise myself for being like this. I feel all needy over 'stuff' to prop me up with that I wouldnt otherwise be thinking of buying (except the Laura Ashely bag). This make me feel like a shallow bitch. I am not and dont want to become one. I have mixed with people who are quite wealthy and never felt envious or the need to try and keep up (though I relaised they often bought designer hughstreet off ebay). I have never behaved like this in any other context.
Welcome to cathy and clare dont think about the year, just one day at a time, tis a bit like a diet!
atemis well done, nearly to end of the month.
scarlet same here with weight I have black and white linen trousers and shorts in two sizes in my wardrobe (one set of sizes never worn!) I think charoty shops do count as its not relying on 'new to us' stuff no matter how bargains 
bluedog yes im going to dig out my heeled boots (3 pairs) and wear something different. I have a lovely jumper that needs hand washing need to get a 'grip' on clothes care - I wuld have more choice than jersey tops and leggings with a token scarf!
Macca well done too, I remeber being like this during my late 20's/early 30's through a spate of weddings. I was always unable to easily borrow stuff because of my size (a 14 at the time!) I am still conscious to rotate 'occasion' clothes not that hard to keep track off now as we seldom go to stuff.
sugar absolutely re pyschological armour - is this ok or healthy even. I know it has worked for me (hence several coat and boot combo purchases this season). But does this make me shallow? I dont want to care what others think especially the wendy but there the gremline sits. YES I want my armour from other sources - I need to get this straight in my head.
Siskus you've sussed it I think...the bag would make me feel all those things ALL of them Yes deep self soothing - I feel like I've been searching for that 'mantra' that thing I say that resets me back to 'normal' thinking. Your work example fits, it's like not wanting to conform, and yes having the strength to stick to own principles < this is it for me. Re your second post, I can see what shopping habits I have from my upbringing - I'll post seperate about that.
welcome to amother
fox thanks if I do it wil be because I like it on my own terms and not because of her! Post war stocked cupboards has a lot to say re food things and clearning your plate.
fishandjam think you might have just guilted me into doing handwash items.
Thanks for replies and for reading my long and heavy post.