I have massively fucked up our finances

[Skintorama]

I've just been scooting along with my eyes shut for ages. I bit the bullet and sat down with DH to go through stuff a couple of months back and we were 14k into the credit cards, and paying interest.

We have a 13k bank loan which we took out to clear the last lot of credit card debt, there are still three years on that.

I also have a car loan that was around 14k, I think that's down to 12.5k now, 4.5 years to go. I am looking into selling the car back to the garage next month and buying a cheaper, smaller car (needed a 7 seater for work but don't anymore).

We then took out a new 0% cc and shifted stuff around, so we're not paying any interest now, but having totted up all the balances today we are now £16k into the cards. I know some of that is fees, but it's also that we've managed to piss £800 away over our budget in the last two months, and we have paid the balance of our holiday (£700).

It's completely unsustainable. About 6k of the debt was court fees, and 5k was our kitchen overspend. The rest is just spending.

Help me. Please give me all your best advice and tips. I seem to just be failing miserably at this. We have over 4k a month coming in and I don't understand how we overspend every single month, it's nuts.

OP Firstly, well done for facing up to the problem.
Secondly, stop beating yourself over the problem.

I can't add much more but in terms of grocery costs see if you can get away with halving the amount of meat you use by slicing or chopping . I use 3 chicken breasts or thighs for 2 adults and 2 preteens, fe. Cheese can be grated for sandwiches, less than half the amount of slicing. Chocolate can be grated over a desert, just a couple of squares instead of everyone taking pieces of chocolate randomly.

Switching to supermarket basics for cleaning products will help, halve the amount of washing powder. Using a sponge or shower puff thing means you only need a few drops of shower gel rather than a handful. Don't buy expensive hand creams and body lotions, a drop of olive oil from the kitchen is better for your skin anyway.

All grocery items you buy, go down a level and if that's okay drop another level until you find the find things you don't want to compromise on.

Good luck, onwards and upwards.

Hi OP,

No advice as such, but in case it might encourage you, taking control of your financial situation is incredibly satisfying.

Watching that debt come down and then, once it's gone, watchin your savings / assets increase is a great feeling. Really makes me wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I'm not exactly Scrooge McDuck, carefully dusting around neatly arranged piles of one-penny coins, but I do enjoy updating the spreadsheet with my worth on it every time I get paid.

And it's a great habbit to get into - it quickly becomes second-nature. Do it now, and hopefully you will never get into such a situation again.

Best of luck.

You sound like you have never really built up a contingency fund. Things like legal fees, repairs etc do crop up. Once you have paid off the debt, you should start putting money into savings for unexpected big expenses. If you don't need them you can pay money off the mortgage or use it for a car without paying interest, which will save you more money in the end.

Thanks for this thread OP. We are in a fairly similar financial situation to you, and it has given me the kick up the bum I need to have a good look at our spending and try and sort things out, rather than continuing to bury my head in the sand and hope for a lottery win!

Good for you, Smartieaddict. Glad the thread has been useful. It's been a good kick for me.

Today has been great, I have spent £1.60 on parking and that's it. Took the mindees to the park, packed a lunch from what we had in the cupboards, took water to drink and asked the cafe to refill them (free) instead of buying lunch and drinks as usual. Dinner is fishfingers and rice n peas(minimal cost).

I've enrolled on a free Business and Admin course to boost my chances at these interviews, the upshot of this is I will spend my free time studying instead of either drinking wine in the evenings or online browsing (which usually means shopping), the acceptance for that came through today so that's all good.

Oh and my exH is in arrears with CSA so we're getting (maybe) the £130 or so he owes us in a couple of weeks.

It's all adding up.

Op I can really relate to your posts.
We have almost £3k coming in each month and I am aghast at how much debt we have and how little money there is at the end of the month (ie: none)
I have also been in denial a bit but tbh other stuff has kept me pretty busy (ds2 very ill, parents ill, I was rushed to hospital...it's been a fun time :()
One thing I find really tough is the food bill...we spend £450-500 each month for 4 of us. I do meal plan but with all the other stuff (toiletries and cleaning stuff) it's always well over £400.
Have just had to buy ds1 some shorts for our (uk) hols ...dh went mad!
I only buy clothes from asda/tesco or e bay. It was 3 x shorts @ £9 each from tesco. With any luck they will fit next year too.
I also got 2 t shirts for £2 each.
I genuinely don't know what he expects me to do re clothes. They have to be dressed!! :(
Buying the new uniforms at the end of the month will be fun :(
What with a money pit of a house (had to spend £10k on new boiler, new roofing, new back windows etc in the past year) I am feeling pretty stressed out.
It's not like we are frittering money away on non essentials (IMO)
We now have no savings left, £7k of cc debt and also owe money to he parents.
Sigh.
I don't honestly see how we will ever pay it back :(

Bad start by slashing your food bill dramatically. If you eat meat, eat less meat or even better, once a week until you're back on your feet again. Vegetarian food can be very healthy and very cheap.

About school uniform, do they wear white polo tops? You can buy two for £3.00 in M&S and they have 20% of right now. I guess a supermarket like Asda will get you cheap trousers.

I am really enjoying this new way of thinking. The credit card (the one I use for monthly spends) is still in the freezer and hasn't been used since Saturday, last month (and the month before) we spent £1400 on it, this month I am aiming for more like £400 although anything up to £800 will still be a win.

I am cooking lamb curry for dinner, but swapping the amounts round so it's more lentils than lamb, the pack of lamb was half price last week so £2.50, the whole meal is probably about £4, that's for seven people.

Badvoc, how old is your DS? My DS1 is nearly 11 (but small) and is growing fast, I need to sort through his stuff but will no doubt have lots of t shirts and shorts to pass on, if you'd be interested?

Skint was that £1400 on the credit card?

Hi
I picked up ds2s uniform when sainsburys had their 25% off and he can wear white polos thank goodness but ds1 goes up to middle school and they have to wear logo polo shirts!! And rugby top! And football boots! Gah.
Need all sorts of things we didn't need when I was there - albeit that's 30 years ago :)
I am going to try and sort the food bill out...I think that maybe it will go down after sept as both boys will be at school all day and not raiding my cupboards/fridge!
Just this morning I have had to get apples and bananas as we ran out.
It's not much but it all adds up doesn't it?
My dh will not eat veggie food....no point going there. Ds2 is a veggie albeit he doesnt realise it...he just won't eat meat or fish!
Dh and I went through all the insurances a few months ago...we are on the cheapest deals.
Ditto utilities.
I am cutting down on petrol costs...walking when I can and when ds2 will agree to!
Will have to find at least £10 per week from sept for ds1s dinners (he has always taken sandwiches before)
Sigh.
It just feels a bit insurmountable ATM.

Not being funny, but reduce the shopping fund and then tell your DH to go and get the meat and rest of the food and see how far he gets. Needs must and all that. You have to cut costs and food budget is most obvious place to do it. I'm a bit that he's moaning at you about clothing the kids but, oh no, he couldn't possibly have some meat free meals to ate the budget. I would be

help not ate

Skint...that's so kind of you. Ds1 is 10. But I am sure there are other people in more dire need than me. I feel so silly complaining about money when dh earns above the national average.
We have had a run of bad luck wrt to the house since we moved in, certainly, but a lot of it is bad planning on my part and not being strict enough with myself.
Is anyone else already stressing about Xmas!?
I am suggesting secret Santa for family...hope they agree.
I love to buy for the children but certain family members are soooo hard to buy for (I am looking at you fil and bil) and dint really need anything.
Have found a great gift for the dc but it's £170 so am going to ask for us all to chip in to get it. It's a joint gift and I think they will get a lot of use out of it.
Aibu? Does that sound sensible?

Bad is he not allowed packed lunches at new school

£170 is a lot, but not if family member are happy to chip in, that sounds like lovely solution.

Minimal...dont get me started!
He seems to think that I should be able to get clothes a for a 10 year old who is nearly as tall as I am for £4-5!!
I got some great stuff for ds2 from e bay but there isn't so much for older dc ime.
Pils have offered to buy the dc school shoes so that's great.

Yes he is, but he wants to have hot dinners. I don't mind per se but it's not an expense I have ever had to think about before iyswim?

As soon as you have paid off a bit of credit card, lower the limit of that card, so if it's £16,000 next month phone up and lower it to £15,000 so that you cannot run up debts on the card. Keep going until it's done and then cancel the card. Once you're out of debt keep maybe one card with a £2,000 limit for emergencies only. I once read a tip about putting the card up in the loft so you can't get to it without effort.

Bad you need to be looking at the overall picture, your oldest Dc can have hot meals when you're not £7,000 in debt an you have payed the money back to your family. Sorry for sounding harsh but it sounds like there are excuses for why extra money that 'needs' to be be spent because of people's 'wants'. Like your DC and your DH are stamping their feet and you're going along with it.

I guess so.
But providing money of school dinners is normal, surely? If I wasn't giving him money for that I would be providing the food in his lunch box?
I don't really see the difference.
Yes dh can be a pain about things. He has no real idea about how much things cost.
I to,d him the other day that since the financial crisis our grocery bill has gone up 30% for the same stuff and he didn't believe me!

World...I am not sure what our limit is tbh. We aren't near it yet. That's a good idea about lowering it though. Will hey dh onto it.
We are also going to move it to a 0% card too. Tesco have a good one on offer ATM.

Yes, £1400 on the credit card. The budget should be 1k at the absolute outside, that's food, petrol, treats and incidental expenses (haircuts, dentist etc).

This month I am aiming for £400 (which would be fab) but more realistically £800 (just to avoid depressing myself when I go over £400).

I think we can achieve it: £200 on food, £100 petrol and £100 for our holiday with a bit of wiggle room for stuff. The month ends on the 7th August so I'll keep you posted with how I've done.

Bad packed lunches will definitely cost less then a hot school meal from school. And providing a packed lunch is 'normal' too
Yes, you husband earns above the national average but at the end of the day, you're in debt so now you have to think of every expenditure with the 'we're in debt' hat on until you've paid it back and that means cutting back. If you want to clear it quickly, it means cutting back everywhere.

Skint I'm so confused about your situation, I need to read back over the thread. Why is more money being spent on a credit card?

Oh I know...I didn't mean to Imply packed lunches aren't normal! He has taken them for 3 years! :)
This month will be a disaster again as we are off on our (uk) hols on Saturday.
Hoping to take lots of picnics and be on the beach a lot!