so now the photos of hen parties i couldnt afford are on fb and i feel like shite

[msrantsalot]

just feeling so sorry for myself. feel like ive got nothing to look forward to and i cant get myself out of this stinking debt hole that i have got no control over....if only there was some type of child care so i could work but there is nothing at all within ten miles and everybody i would rely on works

Could you be a childminder? If there aren't any near you then there's a gap in the market!

Sorry, it stinks to not be able to join in stuff.

I know exactly how you feel. I do work, but we're absolutely skint for various reasons. It means I miss a lot of stuff. And then the invitations trail off because people assume you don't want to come. And the loneliness is compounded.

On a practical note, can you work from home? How old are your children? Do you have a partner?

Same here, working for about £70 per week after childcare and hate having to ask DH for money for stuff like hen parties which are expensive and "frivolous", plus he works seven days per week so childcare not manageable for a whole weekend. Sick of being nagged by friends and my brother to just pop down to London for the weekend and why haven't I been down yet. They have no idea! Sympathies to you!

I understand, have had to miss lots of meals out recently and have started to run out of excuses! Hope you mange to get something sorted out soon, childminding might be a good idea, especially if there is little childcare in your area.

What about doing an alternative at home hen party for those who couldn't go, for whatever reason? Everyone could bring a dish and a bottle of something, you could do some excellent really silly games and have a good laugh. Take lots of photos and put them on fb and boom - you were there.

I sympathise - there's no way I'd be able to afford to go on a hen night or anything - but you've got to be as creative as you can be.

Ime hen parties are contrived shit so you've done yourself a favour

Tell people you can't afford it, there is no shame in that, wish them well
Things will turn around in the next few tears and there will be all their hen parties 2nd time around anyway!

Re the 'stinking debt hellhole'.... if your debts are unmanageable, have you spoken to CAB, CCCS or National Debtline? Their advice is free and they are very helpful at giving people options to get their finances out of the stress-zone. If you feel you have 'no control', a good way to get that control back is to seek advice and take steps. If your location makes it difficult for you to work, your next step could be to relocate.

Like Cogito says, CAB can help sort out all debts and consolidate them into one loan with lower interest rate than, say, credit card debts. Some debts just keep climbing. If they have a crazy APR then you never get the chance to clear them.

Could you do some work from home? How old are your CD? Once they're at school you can apply for TA or playground assistant jobs, or set up a cleaning and ironing service. That can be a quick and easy way to get money with hours to suit you.