can't believe we are so skint!

[pearshape]

Our financial situation is getting worse and worse. dh is self employed but has had no proper work since before Christmas. He has been doing the same work for ten years and we have always done okay from it. I work part-time on a low wage and we do get what we are entitled to in tax credits. We have a debt management plan in place due to debts run up when dh was ill and couldn't work which we have only been able to make a token payment on for the last two months and now all creditors are calling us. We just don't have enough coming in for what's going out. I have cut back all luxuries, sold anything I could and my jewellery, including wedding ring has been pawned. We just about managed to buy food this week. I have tried so hard to be positive for the sake of our two children but I just feel like giving up now. I really thought things would pick up now we are so far into the new year but they haven't. Both myself and dh have tried to find more work but there is nothing out there at all. The only assett we have is our home which we have about £50k equity in so really don't want to go bankrupt as we would lose that as well and that is our security for the children. We are managing to meet our mortgage payments but to the detrement of other bills/debts. I really don't know why I am posting as no-one can help but I feel I'm sinking and can't talk to dh about it as he gets angry because he feels he's useless for not supporting us

Whereabouts are you??

Hi, could you try buying things at carboot sales and selling them on ebay. Labelled clothes sell well. If you bought 10 items at £1 and sold them for between £3 and £10 online this would make you quite a bit of extra cash.

YOu would be better off not working and getting the DWP to pay your mortgage for you.

heswall the DWP only pay mortgage interest, and OP would have to be out of work at least 3 months for that to kick in, I think it's longer if she left her job from choice. Also it would be affected by her DH being self employed, if she were to follow your advice she would probably be significantly worse off!

OP I used to (pre baby) help people with budgeting as part of my job, if you want to PM me with details of your income and bills I am happy to have a look for you and see if I can offer any tips.

Yes they only pay the interest and your point is ? Considering they can't buy food right now, the OP's DH's self employment earnings are unlikely to be so high they would be worth fighting to keep hold of.

OP we were in the same position not long ago, my part time wage basically covered the mortgage and nothing else, everyone was telling me to sell the house.
What we did was I resigned and claimed JSA along with my DH, that gave us about £125 a week, the same as I was earning but we now didn't have the mortgage to pay, nor the council tax, we had free prescriptions you might get free school meals too. You'll also get about £50 per week per child from tax credits.
If your DH picks up and bits of self employed work then you go to the job centre and they deduct the earnings from that months benefits but the point is you have the security of knowing your mortgage will be paid and you will have money to buy food with.

If you were prepared to work in care there are always jobs going - my organisation pays nearly £10.50 per hour at weekends and we can't recruit staff because they don't want to work then, we also struggle to cover hank holidays when we actually pay double this rate! It is generally seen as poorly paid work but if you will work odd hours or shifts no one else wants it can be quite financialy rewarding.

I don't have much more to offer from the other posters on this thread, but I didn't want to read and run, you sound so sad. So I'm just offering moral support and saying keep your chin up and hopefully things will start to turn round soon, especially if you can get some part time work through the agencies, it might be minimum wage but it's still a wage.

pearshape, you have had some great advice already on here but do take some of it and especially where it means talking to your creditors. Most of them really will help and will reduce your payments.

Also, some great advice about you getting some extra work as a cleaner. Just put a card up in your local post-office, offering ironing done or cleaning services. If you have transport and are able to go and collect the ironing from someone's house and deliver it back when it's done, I'm sure there will be lots of take up. I know ironing is horrid but it will give you a bit of extra cash. And remember that word of mouth is always good in situations like this. Ironing for one family can turn into ten very quickly when the Mums natter at the school gates!

I hope that things get better for you soon. x

What does your DH do pearshape? If he is in the building trade, i might have some ideas for you x

I don't have any really more advice, as so much above, but wanted to say i hope it all starts to improve for you soon. I was interested to read about food banks, so googled them and found the following http://www.trusselltrust.org/foodbank-projects here

I appreciate you probably feel wretched, but i would highly recommend getting out every day, walks to local park etc, some fresh air is good for positivety. I will be thinking of you.

Could you or your DH temporarily relocate somewhere where there is work going?

Our Plan B, if our job searches really don't pan out, is that DH will go to London for a few months, crashing with friends or staying in hostels, and do agency work.

I know it's a tough prospect but if you are really that desperate, it's better than losing your house or going without food.

Could your dp get work out of the area and stay in digs while away or commute? As a temporary solution? :)

Is there any night shelf stacking work at supermarket? Any care work around - always seem to be advertising where we are?

Good luck

Sorry to hear of your problems:(

Maya your post was very helpful! Lots of things even i hadn't thought of and i thought i was pretty good at living as cheaply as poss!

I would definately try to get more work, cleaning, nightwork, ironing carework. I do long days with my nightjob then a caring role in the mornings and cleaning ironing in the evenings. Its exhausing but keeps our heads above water!

And surely you will just have to give up the music lessons! My daughter had to give up her beloved dance lessons, there was no choice.

Seriously recommend www.getbackincontrol.co.uk for help with your debts. They get creditors off your back which really helps reduce stress. Hope your situation gets better soon :)

I would definitely talk to your mortgage provider as a friend of mine is in real financial trouble and she has been allowed to change to interest only.

Definitely get a new debt management plan in place.

Look for anything else either you or your DH can do to earn money on the side. Jasmine Birtles wrote a a book about it called A Bit On the Side; it's not on google books but your library might have it. Or look at the Money Saving Expert forums for ideas.

Best of luck. My DH was out of work for nearly a year and fortunately then something came along. It is really disheartening.

How are things now pearshape?

My sympathies. We have a debt management plan with pay plan and they have been great. Selling the house is impossible if you don't have money for the fees and the sale.we are stuck like that. Letting a room is a good idea if you can do it.it is a hard and horrible time where you get sick of counting every penny and having to go without all the time. We have been on this plan for 6 sodding years, but are nearly there now. Hang in there