Help me be less crap with money

[LingDiLong]

Is anyone else like this?

Me and my DH are a bit rubbish with money. Not terrible, we don't buy expensive clothes or gadgets, we don't go out much but somehow money seems to slip through our fingers like water. We make a budget but somehow always go over it. We come into a bit of money or save some up and then we dip into it and it goes. We're not in loads of debt, a small overdraft and a car loan but no credit cards.

I'm already good at doing cheap food shopping and buy clothes off ebay (paying for them by selling old clothes).

Does anyone have any good budgeting tips - the best way to do them, how to stick to them. What's best, weekly/monthly/yearly? All 3?

I'm sick of feeling permanently skint when, on paper, we should be ok.

I'm going to look through all the links more carefully once Christmas is done and dusted! The in laws are arriving tomorrow, and luckily enough they're pretty laid back. I have told them that I do not as yet have a turkey or equivalent! I plan to go to Tesco's tomorrow and find a turkey/other roastable meat which has been reduced! I also said that the day will be about playing with the kids and their new pressies and at some point there'll be a roast dinner!

Ninedragons, I'm guessing that you've never won any awards for tact and diplomacy?! But, I'm sure a lot of what you say is true. It really is a matter of just spending less in most cases. I think the problem for a lot of people is that busy lives and disorganisation gets in the way. Eg, I take DDs to DD1's swimming lesson. I am in a mad rush and don't have time/forget to pack a snack or/and drink or simply do not have much food in the house to take. I try and make them wait but may end up buying them something. I realise that this is crap, (and is in fact theoretical, DD does not go to swimming lessons at mo!) but with a busy life this sort of thing can happen.

Having realised this I am trying to make my life more simple. I have run our toddler group and been fundraising for DD2s preschool for some time now, but am now stepping down. I realise that the time I spend organising toddler group/fundraising activities could be spent ebaying my stuff to raise more money!

At the moment DH takes lunch every day. I rarely go to our local town in a bid to not spend money. I go to car boots most weeks and get the majority of mine and DDs' clothes there. I do however buy a few things new. I have bought party outfits (DDs), shoes and DD1s coat new over the past few months, and a few outfits in the sales too. I guess this is something I need to think about.

I know that I spend most of my money on going out. We have no family near us and I live in a village. My social group really is mine and DH's support network. We go to the village pub most Sunday afternoons with several other families. The DCs play in the garden and the grown ups chat and have a drink. We don't spend much but I know it must add up. DH also plays footie once a week and often goes for a pint or 2 after. I like to see him going out with friends. Until recently he was quite isolated and went through a period of depression after a berievement. Socialising with friends is good for him and men don't pop over to each others houses for a cuppa, they meet at the pub!

Never the less, I know we need to sit down and make sure we are not spending more than my DHs wages (as currently we are having to rely on this alone until I can get some work), and if we are we will have to make changes.

Sorry about the the long ramble, didn't mean to hijack LingDiLong!

Jezabelle - I think provided there is some leeway in terms of spare cash it's all about putting a non-cash value on what you spend - e.g. your DH having a pint after the footie. If you need to cut down, rather than cut out, you could always try and make it one pint not two, and similarly on Sunday maybe spin a drink out longer, maybe.

Do you need to go to car boots most weeks? Or is it one of those 'appears to be a bargain' traps that potentially means you end up buying stuff you don't need because it doesn't cost very much.

I totally sympathise about the swimming lesson example, I would be exactly the same. But having identified it as an example of where you can end up spending more than you want to, it gives you the chance to think of an alternative - like maybe doing an online shopping order to arrive the night before so you've always got bits in? Or keeping a 'grab and go' bag stocked with stuff that won't go off, like a juice box and a bag of crisps, and then replacing that once used rather than waiting til it's next needed. Even if you only managed it every other time, it's still a saving.

My dh takes a flask to work with either left overs in or meals from the freezer that we have bulk cooked. Soup, curry, pasta, casserole etc. There is no way we could afford him to eat out every day.

We both take packed lunches, either leftovers or a sandwich and home-made cake or biscuit, which has saved us a fortune - if I go into Tesco's at lunchtime I can't resist crisps/chocolate/expensive fruit juice, but if I eat what I've brought, at my desk, I'm happy with it.

I'm self-employed with a variable income, and wouldn't manage if I didn't have separate pots. The amount we need to live on goes into the current account, some goes into a savings account for tax, and the rest into an instant-access savings account in case I don't earn enough next month. This has worked as savings by the back door - once it's in the current account I spend it, but having put it away, I think before I move it. It's meant that we could pay upfront for my car insurance, reducing the monthly outgoings, and we had enough to help DP's brother out when his boiler packed up in early December.

Tact doesn't come into it, Jezabelle. If you're here asking, I'm telling.

I'm busy too. So are most people - and many vast fortunes have been made out of supplying convenience to busy people. Some people are too busy to cut up their own fruit and pay M&S a huge premium to do it for them. Absolutely fine, and I wouldn't suggest for a moment that they weren't entitled to do that. But they would be unreasonable if they complained about it.

How you spend your money is an exact reflection of your priorities. If you want to change the way you spend your money, then you have to change your priorities.

Or, of course, the other alternative is accept that you like your priorities as they are (and the pub Sundays sound lovely), but make your peace with not having mind-boggling amounts of money in the bank.

I'm good with money. I have two Excel spreadsheets and keep a record of everything I spend money on, income and outgoings, savings etc. I've been keeping records for years and it really helps.

I don't fritter money away. I take one set amount of cash out each week and only usually exceed this when it comes to holidays, Christmas and birthdays. I take packed lunches to work and if we go out for the day. I self-insure for almost everything. I change suppliers to get my bills down and only have a direct debits if really necessary, I get bills for gas and electric sent out quarterly. I never borrow money. I never lend money. I don't run a car or have any travel expenses as I cycle everywhere. I try to buy things only when they are on special offer. I shop at Aldis for most food items. I buy toys, books, dvds and other items from car boot sales and charity shops. I allow myself a bit of a spree every now and then and we do pay quite a bit going to the cinema, theatre and other activities, but even then I try and take us to the cheaper events.

Hope this is helpful.

Being good with money helps if you are a control freak like me. If you are disorganised, your finances are likely to be too.

We find banking with First Direct helps. I check our account online all the time.

We hardly ever eat out unless we have discount vouchers (usually downloaded from MoneySavingExpert.com).

We used to shop atWaitrose/Ocado but now shop at Aldi (and other than breakfast cereals we have not noticed any change in quality).

We have developed a love of camping, cycling, art, fishing and dog walking (non of which cost much).

We grow plants from seed or cuttings (God, when I think of what we used to waste in garden centres ).

We have learned to say no to some works nights out/events (after spending over £200 on one weekend at the races which I didn't even enjoy).

We take packed lunches to work and picnics for days out (since holidaying in France this is often just bread, cheese, and fruit).

We buy clothes in sales and even DD(14) has bought lovely designer items from jumble sales and charity shops. DH bought a harris tweed jacket (still with tags on) for £25 recently.

However we still spend too much on little trips to the village shop for newspapers and chocolate.