Best friend's wedding plus four month old

[ChloeO88]

Hello, Wondering what others would do in this situation...

I have a four month old DS who is currently going through major sleep regression and issues with feeding. We've had lots of problems since birth with his weight gain and bf and after a late tongue tie diagnosis which improved things for a while, things have gone downhill again recently. Giving background just to explain that it's been a tough month or so overall, and now onto the biggie.

It's my best friends wedding on Saturday. I'm giving a reading and getting ready with her and have been so involved with the plans. I've been feeling very nervous about the day juggling wedding responsibilities and my son who's very fractious atm with teething, the feeding problems, sleep issues etc. I'm exhausted from sleeplessness and the logistics of the wedding (miles away) are giving me a headache. To top it off I've been feeling really ropey this week. Just done a test and I'm covid pos.

I've been feeling unwell gradually since Sunday and wedding is this Saturday so I may be in the clear by then but I don't know what to do. My mum is driving to take us to the wedding tomorrow and be on hand to take DS in the evening. I feel the bride would probably say to me to just come anyway but I'm going to be so anxious about DS and if he has it or catches it becoming unwell in a rural part of the country (we're city based). I've had a lot of postpartum anxiety and the combo of fractious baby, stressful wedding, and covid feels too much, but my friend will be devastated if I don't go to the wedding.

Wondering how others would feel here and any thoughts/advise/words of comfort 😂

I would let your friend know all of this, and say that if you are clear by Saturday, you will come, but that you will now probably only be able to come for the start of the wedding, and you are letting her know now so she can invite another friend to be with her on the morning, if she wants to.
Then attend the ceremony, and, if you are up to it the meal, but let her know you will probably slip away after that.
If you are lucky (with how dc is) and you are feeling okay, you might still manage some of the evening, but you have forewarned her.

Remember that if the two of you are that close, she will know how disappointed you will be and will be sad, but will understand. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

@UsingChangeofName thanks for this, very good points!

Please don't attend if you're still Covid positive. You could pass it to so many people including vulnerable people :( and it could have a knock on effect to hundreds more people passing it on after the wedding!

I understand how hard it is because I got married (big wedding) in 2021, just after restrictions had been lifted, and me and my DH both caught Covid in the week leading up to the wedding, it was horrendous.

It was heartbreaking because we'd already rescheduled the weddnig twice because of lockdowns. It was one of the most stressful weeks of my life being unwell in the lead up and not knowing if it was actually going to happen.

Even so, we took the very difficult decision that if either of us were still positive on the day, we would call it off.

We were lucky in the end, but it was a close call, and we would have cancelled if we had to.

You have to be responsible here. You also have your son to think about and just on a personal level, if you are not well on the day it's going to be horrendous managing him and everything else.

I know you don't want to let your friend down but really it's not your choice - you wouldn't have Covid if it was your choice! It's out of your control, please do the responsible thing. You could literally put people's lives at risk.

Let your friend know. The timing stinks but sickness happens. You shouldn't really attend and your friend might be grateful not to have Covid she caught from you to ruin her honeymoon.