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Original poster

Parents want me to do and kids to do covid test before visiting

550 replies

Needarest22 · 22/12/2022 12:51

AIBU for being a bit put out by this?
My brother is also visiting and he's really cautious about covid so it could be driven by him. There is no talk of them doing one.
AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:
Megifer · 22/12/2022 14:46

Iwantmyoldnameback · 22/12/2022 14:37

Who is still shoving sticks down their throats? It's been nose only for ages, and that makes it a lot easier for everyone.

But that takes away the whole "I have to wrestle a crying toddler while I FORCE a massive stick right down their throat for 5 minutes and wrench it about while were both sobbing on the floor" narrative.

Yea nose swabs aren't great but given most kids have their finger rammed up there 50% of the time with no problem I suspect a lot of the drama is the kid picking up on the parents upset.

CharlotteRose90 · 22/12/2022 14:47

SouthwarkSwish · 22/12/2022 14:23

Bloody hell, this thread really summarises the level of selfishness across the nation. Sad times indeed.

100%. People are disgusting and only think about themselves. It’s why so many passed away with covid as people didn’t give a crap and spread it amongst themselves. It takes less then a minute to do a simple test that could save a life.

2bazookas · 22/12/2022 14:47

If the children are well and display no symptoms there's no need (or point) covid testing.

In our family , all generations have had covid; some several times and the adults are fully vaccinated. We only avoid contact with anyone who has symptoms AND currently tests positive.

Userno3636273737273 · 22/12/2022 14:48

I had to second look at the date of this post. I would have thought it was a post from 2021 or 2020.

honestly, no I wouldn't test my kids. I wouldn't test my kids now until absolutely necessary.

I was someone who was super anxious about covid for the last two Christmases. This year I am very relaxed about the whole thing. If I knew I had it, I would stay home but most people I know aren't giving covid a second thought at the minute. My whole family has had covid including my 80 year old grandma who recovered well, unlike me who had long covid at 30!! I know you can get it again (daughters had it twice in a short period) but we need to live life!

TerfOnATrain · 22/12/2022 14:49

We’re all doing them. Mum is 86 and vulnerable. My adult DC and partners work in busy offices, teaching and healthcare, it’s the right thing to do.

Womencanlift · 22/12/2022 14:49

It really wouldn’t occur to me to be concerned or upset if someone asked me to take a test before coming to their house

To me it’s their house, their rules. If I had an issue with that (and I don’t) I just wouldn’t visit. I certainly wouldn’t lie about it

It is a very brief and easy thing to do that will make someone feel more comfortable. Really don’t see the issue

Hellybelly84 · 22/12/2022 14:52

BogRollBOGOF · 22/12/2022 14:12

There's no point in testing in this circumstance. If you're ill, stay away whatever brand of ill it is, or give warning and put the ball in their court for trivial symptoms. A negative doesn't mean you're Covid-free anyway. It might not show up for days or might never show up on a test especially if mild. You might be carrying other kinds of colds/flu/ sick bugs without realising it.

Ranking people you supposedly love by their "likelihood" of carrying illness and treating family differently because of it isn't exactly loving. It's a nasty attitude because the liklihood is high that they will be blamed unfairly for any illness that could have been passed on by "clean" relatives or random encounters.

I'm not going to discomfort and expense to massage other peoples' health anxiety with a meaningless result.

I could easily have spread Covid with a clean concience last Christmas with the clear initial result I had on the lat flow I did on Christmas Day because I developed an odd tickle in my throat. It just happened that I didn't see people that day and it began to show faintly before I did have plans. The accuracy rate of LFTs since then is poorer as the illness evolves.

A sensible post…thank you. They could test negative on the 24th (most likely if they dont have any symptoms) and be positive by the 26th if they had already caught it. Best to explain to family that its highly likely kids have germs this time of year and not to go if they are not comfortable with that fact.

Tessasanderson · 22/12/2022 14:52

I would write to the whoever oversees the ticketing. You raise a really valid point, you are honest and socially aware. I would imagine the bus/ticket company just havent thought about it and would appreciate your input. I would also hope they would reward you too

Tessasanderson · 22/12/2022 14:53

What the hell. How has this gone on here. Please ignore

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 22/12/2022 14:56

Do you not have saliva tests in the UK? You just cough and spit and then test that. So much easier.

baffledcoconut · 22/12/2022 15:00

Why pick just covid? You can carry flu without symptoms and that can be just as deadly. I’d be asking them to test for flu.

Why is everyone so obsessed with covid? Other viruses exist still!

orchid220 · 22/12/2022 15:00

I am immunosuppressed and most family and friends do test before visiting. I don't ask or really expect them to though. I prefer people to just stay away if they are ill full stop. I don't want colds or flu either.

euronorris · 22/12/2022 15:00

It's really not a big ask.

My DD had covid in early November. She had the slightest cough, and we were due to visit MIL, so I tested her thinking it would be negative. It was super positive! I'm so glad I checked and we didn't pass it on to her. DD was fine, but I then caught it and it was awful! Fever, headache, bodyaches, nausea, vomiting, breathlessness and exhaustion. That would have made my MIL very, very ill (possibly kill her). No way I could live with that.

And yes, kids are germ vectors. DD is 6, she had covid in early November. First week of December she had random (mild) cough virus (not covid) and then on Monday went down with Strep! That's 3 different illnesses in less than 2 months. To act like children aren't ill more often than adults (and therefore passing it on more often) is delusional.

Either you all do the test, or don't visit IMO.

Megifer · 22/12/2022 15:01

Hellybelly84 · 22/12/2022 14:52

A sensible post…thank you. They could test negative on the 24th (most likely if they dont have any symptoms) and be positive by the 26th if they had already caught it. Best to explain to family that its highly likely kids have germs this time of year and not to go if they are not comfortable with that fact.

Show quote history

But surely you can see that doing the test (on the day) is better than none? So its not just "yea I don't know at all if I've got it" to "I've tested and it was negative, that's all I can do"

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 15:02

Has there been any acknowledgement other than from @BogRollBOGOF that you can have negative tests galore, only for your runny nose to turn out to be Covid.

Rarararaaa · 22/12/2022 15:03

I'd do it but I can't personally imagine my parents asking me to do this.

Tinylux · 22/12/2022 15:04

Hey.
you do realise having the vaccination does not mean you will not get it right?
Those who are at high risk and have had their vaccination plus boosters can still get dangerously unwell.

orchid220 · 22/12/2022 15:05

WestwardHo1 · 22/12/2022 15:02

Has there been any acknowledgement other than from @BogRollBOGOF that you can have negative tests galore, only for your runny nose to turn out to be Covid.

The first test is often negative in people with symptoms, but if you take one the next day and still negative it's probably because you're not doing the test properly.

Tinylux · 22/12/2022 15:12

Hi sorry, but covid has been around for over two years and if testing before visiting others is not your first thought I do not know why.
The guilt you would feel also if you went and gave your parents and others covid …
It is only a nose test now not even the throat, surely you would want to check anyway.
By doing the test it would mean you also do not have to worry about it and see your family too.

Lindy2 · 22/12/2022 15:14

We're all going to do a Covid test before mixing at Christmas. I just think it's a sensible thing to do as there will be elderly relatives here.

I'd rather do a quick test than inadvertently give a vulnerable person I love Covid when I can easily do something to reduce that risk.

I find having a problem with being asked to do a test much more strange than testing.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2022 15:17

Tinylux · 22/12/2022 15:12

Hi sorry, but covid has been around for over two years and if testing before visiting others is not your first thought I do not know why.
The guilt you would feel also if you went and gave your parents and others covid …
It is only a nose test now not even the throat, surely you would want to check anyway.
By doing the test it would mean you also do not have to worry about it and see your family too.

Literally no one I know IRL is testing. No one. No one at work and no one in my family or friend circle

Nat6999 · 22/12/2022 15:19

Even if you do a test you could still.pass on this awful flu or the chest virus that is going around. Just do the nose swab & not the throat one, I still got a positive result from that.

Hellybelly84 · 22/12/2022 15:19

Megifer · 22/12/2022 15:01

But surely you can see that doing the test (on the day) is better than none? So its not just "yea I don't know at all if I've got it" to "I've tested and it was negative, that's all I can do"

Show quote history

No because as others have said, it is very unlikely you would test positive with no symptoms at all. Therefore pretty pointless if the family/kids have just been in school/work do’s etc.

We also know that there are a huge number of deaths from winter viruses in any year (long before Covid came along). Am I correct it was 30,000 from flu in one of the winters before Covid? I dont even recall that really making the news. The grandparents were never made to test through their lives, so it is unfair to put health/germ anxieties onto young children.

Raindancer411 · 22/12/2022 15:20

We do them before seeing anyone we think is at risk and it's not unreasonable of people to ask I don't think.

MechanicaHound · 22/12/2022 15:21

I wouldn't do it.

You'd be doing them no favours pandering to their health paranoia.

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