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Original poster

Isolate or try to pass it on?

41 replies

belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:08

Last year I got Covid a couple of weeks before Christmas. Spent a week staying away from dp and was out of 10 day isolation just before Christmas. He then tested positive on Christmas Day, which ruined our plans.

Almost a year to the day later and I've just tested positive again and I am desperate for this not to stop us spending Christmas with family again.

So my options are, spend the next 9 days completely separate from dp and hope he doesn't get it. Realistically though, that's going to be tough as we live in a smallish flat and both wfh. Or do I actively try my best to give it to him now so that we're hopefully both over it and testing negative by Christmas? That's a stupid idea isn't it? I'm so fed up that this has happened at this exact time again Xmas Angry

OP posts:
CountdownCat · 17/12/2022 11:11

I know what I'd do, but be prepared to get told on here you should isolate from him...

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:23

Would you try to make sure he got it asap? He was absolutely fine when he had it last year, didn't feel unwell at all. We'll both be staying in and wfh for the next week anyway so he wouldn't be going out to spread it anywhere.

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 17/12/2022 11:27

Honestly just get on with your normal life and routines, we’ve had it in the house various times, I’ve only had it once (twice weekly LFT’s for work), and never caught it off DP, we shared a bed etc as normal for the duration. DS never caught it off anyone not even with his sister coughing away who he shared a room with at that point.
would it really stop your Christmas this year if one of you had a cough?

Emmamoo89 · 17/12/2022 11:27

I would let my partner get it. Wouldn't want another Christmas ruined. Only if he didn't get seriously ill with it

Iknowhim · 17/12/2022 11:28

I can totally see the temptation for him to just get it over with and the chances are he'll be fine.

But, you're going to feel REALLY bad if he's intentionally infected and is poorly or ends up with long Covid!

If you're living together in a small flat, it's probably brewing for him too.

I've had it twice, partner caught it once.

daisyjgrey · 17/12/2022 11:28

You're going to get some people say you should seal yourself into a room for the next six months and anything else is socially abhorrent and you'll get some saying they wouldn't have even tested in the first place.

Do you have symptoms? I think I'd probably just get on with it and talk to the people who I was planning on seeing over Christmas as to whether they had an issue with the risk or not.

tickticksnooze · 17/12/2022 11:40

If you had a cold or flu or tuberculosis, would you deliberately try and infect him or just exercise good hygiene practices and continue life?

You don't have to isolate to avoid making other people ill.

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:43

Thanks for the replies. I do have symptoms, not as bad as flu but wouldn't want to leave my bed today. We're meant to see my parents for Christmas and they're oldish and definitely wouldn't want to risk getting it. We couldn't go if either of us had recently started with it. So it needs to be now or never if dp is going to get it.

OP posts:
Fremdschämen · 17/12/2022 11:45

"Or do I actively try my best to give it to him now so that we're hopefully both over it and testing negative by Christmas?"

But what if he were to get a very bad experience, next time? Or if he were to develop LongCovid next time and potentially end up unable to work for months or years?

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:46

tickticksnooze · 17/12/2022 11:40

If you had a cold or flu or tuberculosis, would you deliberately try and infect him or just exercise good hygiene practices and continue life?

You don't have to isolate to avoid making other people ill.

Hmm, if either of us had flu or TB then I don't think my parents would want us there. They probably wouldn't be keen on us taking a cold tbh, they're pretty keen to avoid illness for various reasons.

I do see your point but it's the fact that a mild infection for us could be serious for them given their age and I'd feel very guilty if we knowingly took it to their house.

OP posts:
NalaNana · 17/12/2022 11:46

Even if you pass it on now chances are he'll still test positive on Christmas as the incubation period is a few days isn't it? Although he'll probably feel better in himself by then.

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:47

Fremdschämen · 17/12/2022 11:45

"Or do I actively try my best to give it to him now so that we're hopefully both over it and testing negative by Christmas?"

But what if he were to get a very bad experience, next time? Or if he were to develop LongCovid next time and potentially end up unable to work for months or years?

Yes, good point. He's never ever ever ill so I suppose I assumed he'd be fine but you're right, why risk it.

OP posts:
Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:48

NalaNana · 17/12/2022 11:46

Even if you pass it on now chances are he'll still test positive on Christmas as the incubation period is a few days isn't it? Although he'll probably feel better in himself by then.

Another good point, thanks. I guess I just need to try not to pass it on and hope for the best.

OP posts:
janeeyreair · 17/12/2022 11:48

Has he been vaccinated? I would still be very careful and definitely would never deliberately infect anyone, there is still a chance he could get extremely ill.

My attitude is just be sensible and don't share glasses, towels etc and avoid direct physical contact.

SirMingeALot · 17/12/2022 11:49

If you're testing positive now and you live together, share a bed etc, he's going to have been exposed to it already. The die is probably already cast.

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:50

janeeyreair · 17/12/2022 11:48

Has he been vaccinated? I would still be very careful and definitely would never deliberately infect anyone, there is still a chance he could get extremely ill.

My attitude is just be sensible and don't share glasses, towels etc and avoid direct physical contact.

He's fully vaccinated but hasn't had a jab since Feb. You're right though, stupid idea to try to give it to him deliberately. I'm just so desperate for this Christmas to go to plan after 2 years of it being rubbish.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 17/12/2022 11:52

When dh had it last Christmas we didn't isolate from each other and the 3 others in the house didn't catch it. When the 3 others in the house had covid in July this year we didn't isolate and dh didn't catch it!

Dh and I still shared the bed and living spaces but still never passed it to each other

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:52

SirMingeALot · 17/12/2022 11:49

If you're testing positive now and you live together, share a bed etc, he's going to have been exposed to it already. The die is probably already cast.

I wondered that but last time he didn't catch it from me immediately, it took over a week. We don't actually share a bed and haven't had a huge amount of contact over the last couple of days because we've both been busy so I'm not sure whether it is cast yet or not.

OP posts:
janeeyreair · 17/12/2022 11:53

@belimoo yes thats completely understandable, very frustrating for you to have a repeat of previous year.

If you are careful he could well not get it, some people seem to avoid getting ill in general. Touch wood I rarely pick up things even after being around infected people.

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:54

dementedpixie · 17/12/2022 11:52

When dh had it last Christmas we didn't isolate from each other and the 3 others in the house didn't catch it. When the 3 others in the house had covid in July this year we didn't isolate and dh didn't catch it!

Dh and I still shared the bed and living spaces but still never passed it to each other

That's interesting, it's strange how it does/doesn't spread isn't it. I wouldn't care so much any other time, I just don't want it to mess up Christmas again.

OP posts:
Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 11:56

janeeyreair · 17/12/2022 11:53

@belimoo yes thats completely understandable, very frustrating for you to have a repeat of previous year.

If you are careful he could well not get it, some people seem to avoid getting ill in general. Touch wood I rarely pick up things even after being around infected people.

I'm very jealous of you in that case! Please share your tips Smile

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 17/12/2022 11:56

I would find a middle ground and sleep separately (well person in spare room or on sofa) and ventilate. I'd try and keep a distance from one another and both wear masks. I'd get him to do your food and drink and keep your hands clean. This is what we did when I had covid and dh had to work and I had the kids and I didn't pass it on. When dh had covid earlier in the year he fully isolated and none of us got it.

Original poster
belimoo · 17/12/2022 12:00

MaverickSnoopy · 17/12/2022 11:56

I would find a middle ground and sleep separately (well person in spare room or on sofa) and ventilate. I'd try and keep a distance from one another and both wear masks. I'd get him to do your food and drink and keep your hands clean. This is what we did when I had covid and dh had to work and I had the kids and I didn't pass it on. When dh had covid earlier in the year he fully isolated and none of us got it.

Thanks for the advice, sounds like a good plan.

OP posts:
Skiphopbump · 17/12/2022 12:01

There are five people in my house hold. Between us we’ve had covid at least 8 times, we never isolated from each other when positive and only once has one person knowingly passed it on to another.

I would carry on as normal.

healthadvice123 · 17/12/2022 12:08

Its a very strange virus
I have had it at least twice , once when ds had it but dh and other ds didn't get but we did isolate once known
2nd time if my dh even though. Pretty much isolated but neither ds got it
Then my dh had it for 2nd time recently and we were on holiday so no way to isolate straight away and drove home in shared car and figured by then I was going go get it so didn't bother to isolate and I never got it that time
Both ds never did either and dh didn't fully isolate just extra hygiene etc
Now we don't really test , just stay home if a unwell as can't afford 5 tests at £10
Ds1 is at uni and has pretty much had cough, cold or something ( alcohol induced) all term. Done a couple covid tests but again run out and he said people go in ill all the time.