Juggling family/contagious worries of dh

[MissShapesMissStakes]

Covid has finally got me. Dd (10) had it first. Very minor symptoms that started a week ago. She tested negative until about day 3 of a croaky voice. She tested positive faintly on Friday and was negative again (with no symptoms) on Wednesday morning.
Anyway. Now I have it. Minor cold type symptoms and headache but otherwise fine.
Dh and dd(13) haven't yet got it.
Dd(10) didn't isolate at home. She is asd and has anxiety so we stayed in but played it down. I sleep with her often so it's not a shock that I have it.
Now I am staying in my room. Largely because dh is terrified of getting it.
Im saying that dd(10) who has had it now, is fine to come in to see me and mix with the rest of my family. But dh is saying she should also stay away from me. He's very worried about getting it. But I honestly don't think dd can pass it from me to him because she's literally just got over it.

Anyone know where to look for proper facts on this? Nothing is quite as specific as this!

Why is your DH so worried about catching it? Is he CV/CEV? Is he unvaccinated? Would it impact hugely on his life? i.e. does he have a particular reason to be scared? Or just the understable but perhaps disproportionate fear of something he's not experienced before?

I can't answer the question about whether your DD could give it to him, it but given that now most (not all of course) have mild symptoms it seems a bit of an overreaction on his part?

You are correct in that it's largely a concern because he's not had it before. He is prone to illnesses doing their worst with him. And isn't in the best of health due to stress and a health issue he's currently dealing with. But he's always taken it to extremes with covid.
He also has a lot of important work on currently with imminent deadlines which I know is making his stress and the practical
implications of him being poorly seem even bigger.
It's hard because while I want him to feel comfortable in his own home, the way things are working right now won't work for longer than a day or two for dd.
I just want some evidence that she's ok to come and see me.

We are in a similar situation in our house. Youngest had covid and is now negative but passed it to me. I’m still positive. I’m staying away from DH and my eldest but youngest is popping in and out to see me as normal. If your DD has just had it and gave it to you she can’t then pass it onto anyone else in the house through seeing you. She has antibodies to this strain.

@Hellospring22 thanks for your reply. Sorry you're in the midst of it too. I hope you aren't too poorly.

This is exactly what I've been saying. But she thinks that she can pass it from me to him. He's already coughing so it's only a matter of time he gets a positive in my opinion. However until then, the only way I'll persuade him is if I can show him some evidence.

Dd needs me. She already looks sad and bored. He has loads of work to do. We home educate so she's missing her groups and friends. She needs me really. And while a couple of days is doable. I don't think we can do it for longer. It's not fair to her.

There isn't a chance in hell I would be indulging DH on this one.

Your husband needs to get a grip. I'd be ignoring him in this.

Staying away from covid person didn’t help in our house, the first 2 had it first, kept away from myself and DS2, DS2 caught it next day, but although I had same symptoms I didn’t test positive till 4 days later. It’s an airborne virus that’s really hard to avoid catching. We were terrified of catching it, DH was told it would be fatal if he caught it, due to heart condition, but whilst he was the most ill, he wasn’t too bad.

There’s no guarantee that she won’t catch it again from you and pass it on to DH, so I think he’s right on that one. However why do his wants trump yours and DDs? Your a parent in the household too, if you say she can come in the she can. He can isolate in another room if he’s that worried about it.

Thanks for the replies.

Dd IS coming in to see me. It's just that it makes dh nervous. He's not saying that to her. He is saying it to me (via text - he's keeping his distance!).

He does have health issues, as mentioned above, and is currently under immense stress. He also doesn't want our older dd to catch it. I understand why he's so nervous.

I just wondered if there was any actual guidance or medical info out there that could help provide a likelihood of her passing it from me to him or our other dd.

Would it be possible to have you and DD 2 up and around the house and DH isolate away from the 2 of you, might be easier to manage in these particular circumstances. I know DD 1 is in the mix too but as a teen would she be happy to hang out on her room for the few days? As you say DH has probably gotten it now anyway so she may end up in her room anyway

It’s difficult because presumably if he ends up having to isolate his work will be affected (which will then affect others too) putting more pressure on him and then you. Prevention is better than cure they always say, so I’d be inclined to tell him to isolate from you all until you are negative.
I overheard someone on the train a few weeks ago, 9 colleagues down with covid, only 2 had been in the office, they all had it bad enough to take time off from working. He sounded worried about a job they were in the middle of.

Thanks. Yes I think that might be the way forward.
As you say, @Brealinr, he is hugely worried about work at the moment and as it's his own business, it needs him. There is no one else that can move things to the end of the contract.

I think I'll take today in bed because I'm not feeling totally up to being up and about yet. And then he can isolate in his office and I'll clean and air our bedroom, then he can sleep away from dd (he's been on a mattress in her room).

I'm also missing my own food. I'm not a great cook but wow, he's terrible!

Honestly op I'd tell him to get a grip.
Lots of us have stressful and demanding jobs and had the inconvenience of catching covid and survived it.
I missed my best friends wedding and lost a load of money.
My boss's business tanked.
My partner has had his very necessary surgery delayed for 2 years now.
Unless he's CEV, Nobody will die and he'll deal with it. Make a contingency plan for work and crack on.

@catfunk
Thanks for your reply. And I'm sorry those things happened.

However, other people having it worse doesn't really affect how I decide to handle this situation. Of course other people have had it worse. I'm not saying they haven't.

I'm just thinking through, with other non-covid brains, how to work our particular situation.

And, as you've said, businesses have tanked due to covid. I don't want ours to be one of them. The business supports us to home educate our children who both have additional needs.

According to this article re infection can occur approximately 28 days after the original infection :

amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/jul/13/how-long-after-catching-covid-can-you-become-reinfected-and-when-should-you-get-your-booster

So I'd say your DD is probably ok to visit you & is unlikely to re catch it from you & pass it round. What's more likely is that both your DH & other DD already have it & just haven't developed symptoms yet.

Alas, I think he’s right (although paranoid)
www.gov.uk/government/news/past-covid-19-infection-provides-some-immunity-but-people-may-still-carry-and-transmit-virus

In these situations he should isolate, but suppose.

Can your household just live a bit divided for a few days - you and DD2 as a bubble, DH and DD1 as a bubble?

And two squirrels with contradicting medical info! Thanks so much. I think this is going to be the issue. That no one can really say.

Thank you. I will have a good read of both.

Just had a very long chat with dd on FaceTime and she loved it. So this will be the way forward today I think. And a re-configuration tomorrow.

Immunity can be short lived and you can be infected by another strain very quickly but it’s not passed round and round within households. If this were the case you would have heard about it. Your child who passed it to you isn’t going to be reinfected by you.

@Hellospring22
Thanks for replying. Yes that's what I think too. Like sickness bugs or any other bug.
But I think what he's worried about it that she will carry it from me to him and older dd.

Yes absolutely, just like sickness bugs etc don’t go round and round the house. I’d just be ensuring good hand hygiene for everyone in the house and maybe getting you DD to wash her hands after popping in to see you. I hope that no one else catches it and you’re feeling ok. We’ve had it in the house for 1.5 weeks and so far my DD and eldest have avoided it. I’m