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Original poster

Can’t go to work and headteacher unimpressed

107 replies

BrutusMcDogface · 20/03/2022 14:08

I mean, I can’t blame him as it’s a ball ache for him but there’s no need to be rude, is there?! I had covid and my kids are getting it one at a time which will be two weeks off for me. Wtf can I do, though? Aibu? No I’m not!! Anyone else in this boat and being faced by a grumpy boss?

OP posts:
User0610134049 · 21/03/2022 06:46

@PAFMO

Of course there's nothing you can do if you have no other childcare options. But, (as gently as possible) if you are on your own because your husband works away, then you do need to have a system in place. What would happen if you were bedridden with something? And- you say the kids are getting it one at a time- have you pre-emptively decided they're all going to get it so you've told the school you're talking two weeks? Who has Covid now? Surely you can't be sure everyone is going to get it?
The problem is that usual back up options someone might have if a child is sick may not be an option if they have covid or a bad sick bug or something. My parents are happy to help but my dad is CEV so I could not ask them to look after dc when they had covid.
MsTSwift · 21/03/2022 06:48

“I’m afraid that isn’t good enough” 🙄. Really ?! Are you the head teacher? If teachers were paid more then situations like ops wouldn’t arise would they?

BasementIdeas · 21/03/2022 06:53

@MsTSwift

“I’m afraid that isn’t good enough” 🙄. Really ?! Are you the head teacher? If teachers were paid more then situations like ops wouldn’t arise would they?
I genuinely don’t understand what you mean by this? If teachers were paid more how would it stop them taking time off because of Covid???
MichonnesBBF · 21/03/2022 06:54

@girlmom21

[You don't have to isolate anymore so of course he's pissed off. Send them to school if they're well.]

This isn't true for schools, the Department of Education in England has continued with isolation until day 5 and only then can you return with 2 consecutive days negative until day 10
That includes all school staff and children.
So no the Headteacher should not be 'pissed off as they know the op is doing absolutely nothing wrong..

girlmom21 · 21/03/2022 06:59

[quote MichonnesBBF]@girlmom21

[You don't have to isolate anymore so of course he's pissed off. Send them to school if they're well.]

This isn't true for schools, the Department of Education in England has continued with isolation until day 5 and only then can you return with 2 consecutive days negative until day 10
That includes all school staff and children.
So no the Headteacher should not be 'pissed off as they know the op is doing absolutely nothing wrong..[/quote]
They've continued to advise it. It's not enforceable.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 21/03/2022 07:00

It's awful isn't it! I have just had to phone in as our DD childminder has covid and closed! Noting I can do, luckily she seems sympathetic.
My partner is self employed and earns more in a day Than I do in a week!!!! It makes sense he works and I suffer the stress of calling in to work!

I find this incredibly depressing. Attitudes like this just endlessly enforce the status quo making it evermore difficult for anyone without a wife and any caring responsibilities to reach the highest levels. As a self employed person I would assume he had more rather than less flexibility.

As the higher earner in our partnership I have always taken 50% of DC sick days. This pattern was established when I went back to work after the first maternity leave.

eurochick · 21/03/2022 07:18

I'm also the higher earner and yet deal with 50% of sick leave. But that only seems to happen on MN when it is the woman who is the higher earner.

girlmom21 · 21/03/2022 07:25

@jenn88

It's awful isn't it! I have just had to phone in as our DD childminder has covid and closed! Noting I can do, luckily she seems sympathetic. My partner is self employed and earns more in a day Than I do in a week!!!! It makes sense he works and I suffer the stress of calling in to work!
But surely it makes more sense that he takes the time off then makes it up when you're home each evening or at the weekends?
Clusterduck · 21/03/2022 07:28

Why should the employer, colleagues and clients/pupils/patients of the lower earning parent always be the ones to bear the child-related absences?

Dinosauria · 21/03/2022 07:28

@eurochick

I'm also the higher earner and yet deal with 50% of sick leave. But that only seems to happen on MN when it is the woman who is the higher earner.
Agree, it is very depressing.
jenn88 · 21/03/2022 08:45

@girlmom21
I get it and we have had many a disagreement over this! But of course it's not quite as simple as he just works evenings and weekends.... he already does!
Unfortunately I can't be worrying about my rights as a woman and why it's always me never him when our electric bill has tripled and I can barely put fuel in my car plus the rest!!!!
But I will mention he is taking one day off this week to help me out because he's not a complete prat and he does understand it shouldn't just be all me!

NerrSnerr · 21/03/2022 08:53

My husband is currently away for a few weeks on a work trip. He's currently over the other side of the world and I wouldn't expect him to come home to cover if any of the children got covid unless any of us were hospitalised.

When he is home he does more than 50% of the sick days because of this.

It really isn't as simple as just coming home for all people who work away. Maybe for some, but not all.

Phyllis321 · 21/03/2022 08:57

I disagree that the higher earner shouldn't take time off. That's ridiculous.

TheKeatingFive · 21/03/2022 08:59

It really isn't as simple as just coming home for all people who work away.

It may not be. However, those employing the parent 100% responsible for all child absences might not be entirely thrilled with the situation. And I wouldn't blame them.

ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 09:17

@eurochick

I'm also the higher earner and yet deal with 50% of sick leave. But that only seems to happen on MN when it is the woman who is the higher earner.
My DH is by far the higher earner and does 50% of sick leaves, if not more, as he is far senior to me and therefore has more autonomy over his workload. I have very little flexibility. That’s very rare amongst my friends and family though. Agree that the employer of the lower earner shouldn’t always be the one having to take the hit.
ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 09:18

But I will mention he is taking one day off this week to help me out

It’s not ‘to help you out’, it’s ‘to care for his own ill child’.

Theresamagicalplace · 21/03/2022 09:28

My partner would be sacked if he took another day off for sickness or child sickness as he's had to take so much off so naturally as the lower earner I am taking all sick leave with our child. If he loses his job we lose our house, if I lose mine we lose some spending money. How can people not understand why the higher earner is usually the one to not take time off? If I have to choose between being homeless or pissing my boss off I know what I'd choose.

SmolCat · 21/03/2022 09:30

But I will mention he is taking one day off this week to help me out
Your child is ill. It’s odd to me that you’ve worded sharing (1/7th) responsibility about that and caring for his own child (for one day) as ‘helping you out’. I bet he sees it like that too and feels really good about himself.

NerrSnerr · 21/03/2022 09:30

@TheKeatingFive I agree and you need to make career choices that work for family life. On my husband's current trip he couldn't come back unless it was a dire emergency (and it still may not be quick as the kind of flights from where he is are not reliable) but when he's home next week he will take what he needs off when the children are unwell. My employers are aware that it's down to me when he's away but he's expected to do the lion's share when he's here and it works (we've been in the same jobs since our eldest was born and it was discussed after maternity leave).

ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 09:31

@Theresamagicalplace

My partner would be sacked if he took another day off for sickness or child sickness as he's had to take so much off so naturally as the lower earner I am taking all sick leave with our child. If he loses his job we lose our house, if I lose mine we lose some spending money. How can people not understand why the higher earner is usually the one to not take time off? If I have to choose between being homeless or pissing my boss off I know what I'd choose.
So surely that means he has been taking time off for child sickness in the past, if he’s taken so much he’s facing the sack, so a slightly different scenario?
Blueblossompinksky · 21/03/2022 09:32

Both sides are right here. That’s why it’s so difficult.

@girlmom21 isn’t correct though. Isolation may not be law but schools have their own policies.

Theresamagicalplace · 21/03/2022 09:36

@ReadyToMoveIt he's only actually taken 2 days in the past year but combined with being off sick (for himself) he's reached the number of times before disciplinary action limit. It's no where near the 50/50 split a lot of posters are adamant should happen though.

MissM2912 · 21/03/2022 09:37

What age are your children

Prudencia · 21/03/2022 09:38

In France, if a teacher off sick, classes are sent home. Perhaps we ought to introduce that in this country?
There is too much pressure on Heads acting as in loco parentis and desperately trying to cover classes to keep children in school. It is not fair on Schools, teachers or the students.
Time for a change. Schools are not about childcare but about education. Many parents seem to think that schools should constantly perform the impossible and that cover should always be found.
Try London prices for housing, many admin jobs now mainly based at home and the dramatic fall in numbers applying for teacher training and the situation becomes impossible in terms of class cover.