If you have CEV parents and school-age children….

[MacaroniCheeseCat]

….what precautions do you take around spending time with said CEV parents? Are they happy to spend time with you indoors? Asking as I’m curious where my own DPs’ stance sits in comparison to others.

I’m a teacher and have two school aged kids. Our respective schools are currently riddled with covid. I also have an elderly ECV mum. We meet up for walks and sit out in the garden as much as we can. If she comes into the house then we all wear N95/fpp2 masks and she sits separately (conservatory) to eat and drink so she can take her mask off. We also have the windows open. We also all wear masks as much as possible even when not with my mum to reduce our chances of catching it and passing it on. It’s a bit of a pain but we still want to see her as safely as possible and I respect her concerns.

Two cev parents, mum sadly died late last year from cancer.

Carried on hugging and making the most of life until the end. Cev dad is the same, daily hugs, snuggles for reading, eating together etc.

The only time cuddles stopped was just before mum was admitted to hospital as she didn’t want to risk testing positive on admission. Lasted about three days. Once admitted hugs resumed.

My parents (both in their 80s and one is CV) have been super cautious about Covid. We've hardly seen them at all in the last two years - just a handful of times - and they prefer to meet outside. They used to see us once or twice a month before all this.

I do feel sad about it, and I feel that their stance is at the extreme end compared to my friends' parents, but at the end of the day it's up to them. They are very happy spending all their time together, and either would be really bereft if the other died of Covid (or any other reason of course) so I can understand their concerns.

We just all do LF tests before visiting and don’t visit with symptoms or when there is an outbreak at school (thankfully we haven’t had many).

My father in law Is in his late 80's. He's completely relaxed about covid. Visits frequently, travels extensively and is out socialising every day.

I've seen dad three times since it started and outside each time. He hates that he doesn't yet feel able to see me properly, but whenever we tentatively plan something, he ends up cancelling as he is so nervous.

MIL shielded in the first lockdown and didn't see the children at all. DH working in emergency services and children at school and nursery throughout. She didn't bother after July and is now making up for the time she has missed. They regularly take the children and have sleepovers no distancing and masks. She is in 70s and has numerous health conditions but life is too short to spend potentially your last days having separated from your grandchildren. That is her opinion and we support that.

Thank you - quite a range of responses. I should probably qualify what I put - one parent is vulnerable on grounds of age/overall health (70s) and the other is CEV and was previously advised to shield.

We live at some distance from them, which complicates things.

We’ve generally been seeing them in school holidays only but avoiding anywhere really crowded for a few days beforehand and going up, say, mid half term rather than the day schools close. And obviously doing LFTs beforehand. We’ve had periods this winter when they’ve been twitchy about meeting us outside in terms of case rates being so high. They are rightly concerned about transmission in schools. They haven’t seen us since Christmas.

They are happy to spend time indoors with us and have us to stay if DC1 hasn’t been in school for a few days, eg part way through school holidays. But this basically means we can’t really see them in term time while case rates are so high.

I completely understand their position and have taken the view that the most vulnerable person calls the shots when it comes to Covid. But it is complicating the relationship somewhat - I think DC1 is feeling quite rejected in terms of the limited contact they now have. So I was curious to see how other people are managing the situation.

My CEV DGM isn't bothered and would see us/the dc anytime. I do lfts before we visit but there's never been any hesitation on hugging or being indoors- DGM said she's pushing 90 and wants to live not cower inside.

It's been a struggle to get her to take lockdowns seriously but she's managed to avoid infection even with 3 hospital stays... now a few of her immediate family have had covid and not really had any symptoms she's even more sure it's all fine and won't be missing out.

I know not everyone feels the same and everyone should be respected, but I do feel so sad for the people still basically shielding. It's been such a long time to have the stress and fear and missing loved ones. How do they feel about the talk from bojo that it's endemic and isolating will be ending soon?

I don't have school age children but work a couple of days a week unmasked in primary classrooms. My dad is CEV, advised to shield, and now has priority access to whatever the drugs are to be taken asap if he does catch Covid.

I only saw them outdoors until just before Christmas of 2020, and did 10 days isolation before going in to stay then.

Having once gone inside, my mum then couldn't understand me not going in all the time (dementia) so I now just LFT daily in the couple of days leading up, and minimise my contacts massively outside of work.
So far, so good. My dad's voew is that the benefits of company (they are otherwise now very trapped and limited by my mum's dementia and mobility) outweigh the risk. They are mid 80s.
Their friends who are also CEV are also seeing family in the same way.
My CEV brother is still cautious, but going to work and visiting family. Not going inside with friends, however.

My mum is CEV and my dad 'vulnerable' due to age. They've seen their GC throughout, still have them for sleepovers etc. We all test regularly. My Mum only shielded for the first lockdown when we saw them outside.

My mum shielded and did not see the children during that time, however I did see her outside. She is now very cautious but wanting to live again and do things so we see her now and hug her. If we have been out and about, to a city or the cinema we lft before we see her. She needs the social interaction.

Single parent here very reliant on older CV parents for childcare. Kids always wash hands going into the house, we keep a window open, LFT with colds etc or after being a close contact otherwise we carry on as normal and just hope for the best.

Are they actually still CEV? Many of people previously advised to shield are no longer vulnerable if vaccinated. People in the CEV group now are generally immunocompromised in some way, are often quite young, and don't have much chance to avoid covid anyway due to work/children. They will be eligible for covid treatments though which makes a big difference.

How do they feel about the talk from bojo that it's endemic and isolating will be ending soon? To answer the question above, I don't think my parents mind. They are being so cautious that they don't come into close contact with many people, so whether people are isolating or not won't make much difference to them. And they support things improving for the majority of people who aren't vulnerable. Of course it's different for CEV people who need to work etc.

@Belladonna12, I think the DP in question is still CEV. Without wanting to post really specific information, they are immunocompromised and also showed no Covid antibodies after a blood test following two doses of vaccine, so they question how effective the vaccine would be for them if they were exposed. Their age and nature of their diagnosis means they anticipate only being offered palliative care if hospitalised with Covid.

If I’m honest, I think they are more anxious than ever as they don’t perceive themselves to be significantly less vulnerable despite vaccines, yet the official position is that with vaccines and new treatments, this is no longer a serious disease. But they are convinced the vaccines don’t protect them, and that they won’t be offered the full range of treatment.

It's not just vaccines and treatments making this a less serious disease - it's also that omicron is less serious than previous variants and hopefully future variants will continue that trend. But I do understand the fear, OP - as I said upthread my parents are similar.

[quote MacaroniCheeseCat]@Belladonna12, I think the DP in question is still CEV. Without wanting to post really specific information, they are immunocompromised and also showed no Covid antibodies after a blood test following two doses of vaccine, so they question how effective the vaccine would be for them if they were exposed. Their age and nature of their diagnosis means they anticipate only being offered palliative care if hospitalised with Covid.[/quote]
The people with conditions or on treatments likely to make them vulnerable despite vaccination have been identified though (and they should have been informed and given a priority PCR test to keep at home) and they will be offered treatments within the first few days of infection in order to prevent hospitalisation. Their age doesn't come into it. If they think they should be in this group then they should phone 119 for advice

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/treatments-for-coronavirus/

or perhaps contact their GP or hospital specialist.

Hi OP. I’m not the profile of the person you’re looking but if it helps this is my viewpoint.
I’m recently diagnosed CEV (blood cancer and in chemotherapy) and have primary school aged children. This Covid peak going through the schools, or at least my DCs school, has been enough to get me to take them out of school since December as the risk is too great - it’s something I discussed with my consultant. If I could I’d keep them off until my main chemotherapy is over and I’m hopefully in remission and on maintenance - I’ll still be immunocompromised but shouldn’t be to the same extent. Unfortunately I need to get the DC back into school after half term and I’m hoping the schools peak is dropping off by then.
Once they’re in school I will have to accept they’re mixing with anyone in the school and will allow play dates with close friend classmates but I won’t personally socialise with anyone indoors from outside the household indoors for at least another couple of months. I’ll probably catch it if the DC do but it’s possible that if we catch it in time I can isolate from them.

The people with conditions or on treatments likely to make them vulnerable despite vaccination have been identified though (and they should have been informed and given a priority PCR test to keep at home) and they will be offered treatments within the first few days of infection in order to prevent hospitalisation. Their age doesn't come into it. If they think they should be in this group then they should phone 119 for advice

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/treatments-for-coronavirus/

Unfortunately the key word in this is ‘should’. I’ve been told by my consultant that I’d be prioritised for treatments. No letter, no priority PCR received. The information on the gov website is wrong as 119 say the rollout is stopped and they don’t know anything about it. Some (I think most?) of those prioritised got the packs but some people didn’t - in my case Blood Cancer UK are investigating why a load of us that should have the packs haven’t received them. Also those with the packs are not always getting the treatment in time if their closest centre is closed at weekends. This is regional - some centres are good. Unfortunately it’s a bit of a cluster!

@Tillyloveslettuce

I’m a teacher and have two school aged kids. Our respective schools are currently riddled with covid. I also have an elderly ECV mum. We meet up for walks and sit out in the garden as much as we can. If she comes into the house then we all wear N95/fpp2 masks and she sits separately (conservatory) to eat and drink so she can take her mask off. We also have the windows open. We also all wear masks as much as possible even when not with my mum to reduce our chances of catching it and passing it on. It’s a bit of a pain but we still want to see her as safely as possible and I respect her concerns.

This is us too.

Unfortunately the key word in this is ‘should’. I’ve been told by my consultant that I’d be prioritised for treatments. No letter, no priority PCR received. The information on the gov website is wrong as 119 say the rollout is stopped and they don’t know anything about it. Some (I think most?) of those prioritised got the packs but some people didn’t - in my case Blood Cancer UK are investigating why a load of us that should have the packs haven’t received them. Also those with the packs are not always getting the treatment in time if their closest centre is closed at weekends. This is regional - some centres are good. Unfortunately it’s a bit of a cluster!

Maybe things are starting to work better now though? Even without packs PCR test results are coming back quickly now (I suspect people who aren't vulneraable are doing lateral flow tests so there is more capacity in the system.) Also from next Thursday the first line treatment will be tablets (paxlovid) so that may be easier to administrate and while they also have to be given within the first five days, there is a second line effective treatment (remdesivir) which works within seven days.

Both me and my husband are CEV and we have four children in education.

We test them daily using LF. They are aware of the importance so will avoid crowds if possible and wear masks to reduce risk. They have simple folding N98 masks for transport.

The children are good at recognising when they feel poorly and stay in their rooms until tested if they are worried at all.

We keep as healthy as we can and take extra vitamin D, zinc, C and attend all hospital appointments for Check ups.

The children are all over 12 so are double jabbed and the older three are boosted too.

There's nothing more we can do other than continue. If we stopped all four children accessing education it would wreck their futures.

Not quite the same but I am CEV and was shielding and DH is 73.
DS1 is a teacher. His school is full of covid.
After almost a year of no hugs and outdoor visits after we were vaccinated I said no more. I won't be deprived of a hug from my own DC.
I got covid in the summer, not from DS and I was pretty ill with it but afterwards slightly less worried for myself. DH is healthy but over 70.

DS has always tested immediately before visiting us and I don't see what else he can do. He's just had covid and so we feel the risk is now massively reduced.