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Original poster

Feeling incredibly angry right now

137 replies

Opalpearl · 12/01/2022 07:29

I work in a pre school as a TA.
Yesterday a parent brought their child in who was clearly very snotty and coughing a lot. Not unwell as such, still full of energy etc.
She said she’d tested him in the morning and it was negative so she brought him in. Obviously she was meaning an LFT test…which isn’t what you do if someone is showing symptoms, she should be getting a PCR and self isolating.
Before the teacher could say anything she rushed off saying she’d be late for work if she didn’t leave now.
So I spent the whole day in a classroom with a child coughing constantly and having to wipe said child’s nose every 10 minutes.

I’m sooooo upset and angry. Why can’t parents/people take responsibility and do the right thing?! Selfish selfish selfish.

OP posts:
containsnuts · 12/01/2022 11:52

We have the opposite problem. DD's school is fed-up with her being off so much they called a meeting and raised issues re attendance! She's had a new cough/fever every 2 weeks since august and we've dutifully isolated pending PCR results each time. Always negative and now the school say 'no more' and we have to send her in. I'm not comfortable with it but don't know what else to do. I cant see any way around it short of some system to prioritise young kids for PCRs so they get results back quicker given how often they have covid like symptoms.

Donthaveagoodusername · 12/01/2022 11:54

Sorry but people can't isolate every single time they have a cough

Bobholll · 12/01/2022 12:10

I’d be concerned by a child with coughs & fevers ever two weeks for months on end?! Maybe at more like toddler age but not school age. My DD was ill every 5 minutes as a toddler in nursery but since she turned 3, things started improving & she’s rarely ill these days at school. We’ve had an odd fever, an odd cough & a stomach bug but she’s only missed 3 days since September.

I’d be taking her to the docs to check there is nothing underlying!

But I agree, we can’t keep them off for every cough & cold. Some colds go on for weeks! Just LFT unless it’s an obviously new illness and they are coughing constantly (not just a few coughs a day) or have a fever that lasts more than a couple hours & won’t come down with calpol.

Coughs are a lot less common with Omicron as well. Far more likely to have a fever, sore throat & a runny nose.

CUniverse · 12/01/2022 12:19

@Blubells would you do something like that? Provide a fake test in a situation where you are putting others at risk?

RichTeaRichTea · 12/01/2022 12:19

VikingOnTheFridge I’m not actually down on the parent in this case - I might have made a different decision to her but equally my children’s nursery clearly enforces the rules more. I don’t think it is practical to test preschoolers as much as they have been, and I completely understand how parents are in impossible situations really with employment, I don’t go by the whole “selfish” accusation and never have. What I don’t understand is why if the staff were so unhappy they wouldn’t send the child home (all other settings I’m aware of are doing this) and also why loads of posters are NOW going on about how impractical it is testing preschoolers all the time, as though parents haven’t been raising this issue for months and months!

Pootle40 · 12/01/2022 12:32

🙄 this is why testing should be scrapped now........

Whatayear81 · 12/01/2022 12:33

Oh chill out OP

Blubells · 12/01/2022 13:20

@Blubells would you do something like that? Provide a fake test in a situation where you are putting others at risk?

No I would definitely not do that. But then I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home if necessary so could look after my child.

It was in response to two posters arguing about whether the mum had or had not brought in the actual test as 'proof'!

theemperorhasnoclothes · 12/01/2022 14:23

Honestly, if the child is coughing a lot surely the school can put them in a side room with a teacher in a mask while the parent is called?

They call parents to come and pick up for vomiting, I don't see why they can't for covid symptoms. Then they can get a PCR and if it's negative (in a day) they can come back.

theemperorhasnoclothes · 12/01/2022 14:25

@containsnuts

We have the opposite problem. DD's school is fed-up with her being off so much they called a meeting and raised issues re attendance! She's had a new cough/fever every 2 weeks since august and we've dutifully isolated pending PCR results each time. Always negative and now the school say 'no more' and we have to send her in. I'm not comfortable with it but don't know what else to do. I cant see any way around it short of some system to prioritise young kids for PCRs so they get results back quicker given how often they have covid like symptoms.
Priority PCRs for little kids is a great idea! Also, saliva tests. I doubt most preschoolers are getting good quality swabs, it's just too difficult.
Chessie678 · 12/01/2022 14:33

At this stage, I'd be surprised if a pre-schooler with a cough was significantly more likely to have covid than a pre-schooler without one. About half the children in my DS's nursery seem to have a cold at any one time. Little children have around a 50% chance of being completely asymptomatic, possibly higher. If they do have symptoms, these often don't include a cough or fever. Most people don't test young children regularly and if they do it's very difficult to get a good sample. I have no faith in the tests I have done on DS because they have involved brushing somewhere near his nostril for less than a second. I'm not willing to distress him over it anymore. Around 1 in 15 people are meant to have covid at the moment anyway.

Bluebluemoon39 · 12/01/2022 14:37

Is this real? So no other children have been in with coughs and colds since covid began? If so, it must be a very small class!

They're scrapping testing soon anyway OP so I guess you'll have to get used to it!

Blubells · 12/01/2022 14:53

They call parents to come and pick up for vomiting, I don't see why they can't for covid symptoms. Then they can get a PCR and if it's negative (in a day) they can come back.

I could take at least a day to book a test (if you can get one) and often results don't come back for another 24 hours.

So a working parent might have to give up 3 days of work? This could have a big known on the provision of many services.

Cornettoninja · 12/01/2022 14:56

While isolations are still in place it’s in the parents interests to test. If you struggle getting a day or two off for PCR testing your going to struggle if a load of staff are forced to isolate at the same time and the setting is closed.

RichTeaRichTea · 12/01/2022 15:13

“ So a working parent might have to give up 3 days of work? This could have a big known on the provision of many services.”

Um yes, it does. Have you only just noticed what a fucking nightmare it is?!

RichTeaRichTea · 12/01/2022 15:16

@Cornettoninja

While isolations are still in place it’s in the parents interests to test. If you struggle getting a day or two off for PCR testing your going to struggle if a load of staff are forced to isolate at the same time and the setting is closed.
Actually IME employers are much more understanding if your setting is completely closed for a defined period (this has happened to us), rather than random and frequent ad hoc days off at the last minute. I have followed the rules as required, but most of us with small children have been doing this for many many months now, none of us needs this sort of helpful advice as though we haven’t thought through all the permutations of risks and responsibilities pulling us in all directions.
Sowhatifiam · 12/01/2022 15:28

Oh good grief get a grip. You are in the wrong job. Do you really think parents can take children for a PCR every time their kids have a cough?

No. We're not in the wrong job. It is not too much to expect parents, in the current situation in particular, but always when their child is showing signs of being unwell, to do necessary testing and keep the child off so that their illness isn't spread. Spreading any illness to staff just means unnecessarily disrupted days of education for the children. As parents, you would soon be unhappy if the teacher was isolating every second week.

Maybe she can't afford to self isolate?

Maybe the OP can't either? Why is it the OP's responsibility to care for an obviously sick child? Are we now saying parenting is the responsibility of the state?

Cornettoninja · 12/01/2022 15:52

@RichTeaRichTea are you presuming I don’t have dc?

RichTeaRichTea · 12/01/2022 16:06

Not in the least.

jesuistot · 12/01/2022 20:48

I couldn’t get worked up about this tbh

Alwayswonderedwhy · 12/01/2022 20:55

If you can't cope with kids with colds you're probably in the wrong job.
Yabu to expect parents to take young children for a PCR every time they get a cough or cold.

KiloWhat · 12/01/2022 21:09

If it was a problem why didn't someone phone the parents repeatedly until child was picked up instead of letting them mix with everyone?

penni00 · 12/01/2022 21:09

I am with you OP. I agree exactly with sowhatifiam. I find it depressing that others cannot get this.

luckylavender · 12/01/2022 21:12

@BrambleRoses

Oh, I don’t want to sound unsympathetic but seriously if I’d kept my DS off nursery with a snotty nose and a cough he would never have been there. Flowers
It's not the same at the moment though is it?
sleepwouldbenice · 12/01/2022 21:23

@Sowhatifiam

Oh good grief get a grip. You are in the wrong job. Do you really think parents can take children for a PCR every time their kids have a cough?

No. We're not in the wrong job. It is not too much to expect parents, in the current situation in particular, but always when their child is showing signs of being unwell, to do necessary testing and keep the child off so that their illness isn't spread. Spreading any illness to staff just means unnecessarily disrupted days of education for the children. As parents, you would soon be unhappy if the teacher was isolating every second week.

Maybe she can't afford to self isolate?

Maybe the OP can't either? Why is it the OP's responsibility to care for an obviously sick child? Are we now saying parenting is the responsibility of the state?

This exactly Why some people think their lives, risks and priorities are more important I will never know