Feeling incredibly angry right now

[Opalpearl]

I work in a pre school as a TA.
Yesterday a parent brought their child in who was clearly very snotty and coughing a lot. Not unwell as such, still full of energy etc.
She said she’d tested him in the morning and it was negative so she brought him in. Obviously she was meaning an LFT test…which isn’t what you do if someone is showing symptoms, she should be getting a PCR and self isolating.
Before the teacher could say anything she rushed off saying she’d be late for work if she didn’t leave now.
So I spent the whole day in a classroom with a child coughing constantly and having to wipe said child’s nose every 10 minutes.

I’m sooooo upset and angry. Why can’t parents/people take responsibility and do the right thing?! Selfish selfish selfish.

@TheKeatingFive

But it’s OK to pass on a still potentially dangerous disease?

Selfish

And if she can't pay her rent/put food on the table, are you going to do that for her?

And if the child passes covid onto others and then several other families can't work for 7-10 days...?

@TheKeatingFive

But it’s OK to pass on a still potentially dangerous disease?

Selfish

And if she can't pay her rent/put food on the table, are you going to do that for her?

Exactly.

I hate all this stuff on here about calling people selfish. Often it’s the very opposite of people being selfish - it’s more likely people trying to keep their family going!

@MalbecandToast

All those who think PCRs for every sniffle is the right course of action, how will you feel when PCRs are phased out for the general public?! Will you still think kids should be kept at home for every mild winter illness?!

It's not for "every sniffle". The child had a bad cough, which is a primary symptom of Covid.

@flossletsfloss

Oh good grief get a grip. You are in the wrong job. Do you really think parents can take children for a PCR every time their kids have a cough? The world has got to move on and so should you.

Yanbu. I agree - it's so selfish, there will be any number of other kids in the class who will catch it and whose more responsible parents will isolate them while waiting for results, not to mention parents who won't be able to work. - and potentially a teacher off and not able to cover the class at all.

The UK has always been pretty gross about sending obviously sick kids to school, but under current rules it goes from grim to irresponsible.

@Opalpearl

I work in a pre school as a TA. Yesterday a parent brought their child in who was clearly very snotty and coughing a lot. Not unwell as such, still full of energy etc. She said she’d tested him in the morning and it was negative so she brought him in. Obviously she was meaning an LFT test…which isn’t what you do if someone is showing symptoms, she should be getting a PCR and self isolating. Before the teacher could say anything she rushed off saying she’d be late for work if she didn’t leave now. So I spent the whole day in a classroom with a child coughing constantly and having to wipe said child’s nose every 10 minutes.

I’m sooooo upset and angry. Why can’t parents/people take responsibility and do the right thing?! Selfish selfish selfish.

Honestly I think you should speak to your manager about this, and get them to talk to the parent.

If the nursery has a reasonable policy on Covid-19, it should be clear that parents cannot bring in children who are coughing like that.

Your boss should back you up on this and talk to the parent about their unreasonable behaviour and the potential danger they placed you, your colleagues, other children and their families, and wider society in.

You looked after the child for the day because it was basically an emergency situation where a child was abandoned at the nursery without consent from the nursery. That's not on and it's not OK for parents to behave that way.

@Bagelsandbrie and if she makes 6 other kids ill, with parents who are more responsible and/or in jobs where working when sick is impossible, that causes far more hardship.

And if the child passes covid onto others and then several other families can't work for 7-10 days...?

Plenty of people live hand to mouth. This requirement isn't sustainable for them, that's not even difficult to understand, so government want a pcr for every cough, then realistically they'll need to compensate for the isolation time.

Surely if the child was appearing to be so ill the school would have called the child's parent to pick him up?
Why did that not happen? What did the teacher think?

LFT tests still work if someone is showing symptoms. DD recently had covid: beforehand she took two LFTs that were negative but had a positive PCR tests. After a week she was still feeling ill but took LFT tests to see if she still needed to quarantine, and they showed very definite positives for four days.

The three main symptoms are not the top three which “qualify” for a PCR OP.

The government is negligent in not updating them, and creating unnecessary stress.

The government is also effectively or implicitly saying that LFTs are enough. So I’m not surprised the parent did a LFT and went by that.

This is also on the school.

Surely they have a procedure to follow with pupils with symptoms?

@LethargicActress

The parent did the right thing IMO. Healthy children should be at school.

Didn't sound like a healthy child, and it's not school it's nursery/childcare

@TulipsGarden my kids are at school now, the school has made it very clear if we try to send them in with any of the three symptoms then they will get sent straight back.

I know how much of a PITA it is having to test for everyone cough. I’m lucky that I work from home and I can still work with them around. It’s just not ideal.

That being said, as far as the OP is concerned I would be more annoyed with the nursery than the mum.

I can understand the mum trying to send them in if they had to work. I cannot understand why the nursery wouldn’t try and send the child back home/ told her not to do it again.

I understand the frustration I really do we have dealt with similar (and currently isolating with two positive dc for the same reason ) but stop with the selfish rhetoric. You do not know the circumstances.

Am I frustrated that an obviously symptomatic child passed it through my dc school (we know who it was due to circumstances) yes of course.

It's not fun, I am CEV (but also vaccinated and boosted ) but it isn't about being selfish a lot of the time and it's self absorbed to jump straight to that. I happen to know professionally that the parent in my case risked it because they are nmw with no sick pay. I only know this because it happens in this case work and school life crossed. None of the other parents know.

I know exactly why that parent took the risk. They wouldn't have been able to pay rent or food if they didn't work.

Don't be an arse about this. Don't be that person blaming people stuck in a no win situation. I'm sat feeling awful worried about my DC but even I can see the reason they risked it.

To all of those who smugly announced on the thread that its a no discussion child should be kept off blah blah no risks.....please do enjoy your entitlement in the financial security that you can put food on the table. I live in a deprived area. For all your ridiculous wittering that it's easy , its not. I'm one of the wealthier ones and I have choices, a lot of people bloody don't.

I'm sorry they risked it and yes it's frustrating and crap. I speak from current experience but its not always selfish. Life is not that simple.

People do get colds still.

My 5 year old and over half her class all had Covid before Christmas. Not one of them was unwell, all completely asymptomatic.

Point is, asymptomatic kids can pass the virus on to one another just fine. What are you going to do, test every kid everyday with LFT?

Not. Possible.

She tested negative, the mother brought proof, end of story. I am guessing you're double jabbed and boosted by now, so hopefully you should at least be protected from catching severe illness. You have done what you can to protect yourself, that is all you can do.

@cookiemonster2468 I meant crucial from the point of view of not being paid of they don't work thus not being able to afford the rent, food etc. not everyone can afford to take time off work to do pcr tests for every little cough and sniffle.

Not unwell as such, still full of energy etc.
She said she’d tested him in the morning and it was negative so she brought him in.

So she should not have believed the LTF test result and booked and driven to do a separate PCR test before dropping her son off at nursery?

The parent should have PCR’d & I’m surprised your setting hasn’t called the parent and asked her to get one? Do you know 100% it was an LFT? Is she really coughing constantly or just on & off through the day? As you should know given your job, young kids cough a lot when snotty. They can’t seem to clear the snot from the back of their noses & it really makes them cough. Typically a covid cough is dry. Kids coughs are usually pretty snotty sounding!

But I don’t understand you fear & anger? You must be surrounded by coughs & colds everyday surely? My youngest is in nursery with a streaming nose but she’s not ill 🤷🏼‍♀️ She just has her 600th cold of the year. I’ve LF her but not PCR’d. What are you so scared of? Presumably you are vaxxed & boosted? You’ll be fine.

@RichTeaRichTea

I would have been called by the preschool to collect my child and do a PCR - why didn’t you or the teacher do this? This can’t be the first time a child has had one of the three symptoms whilst in your care.

I’m surprised that people are surprised at the idea of doing PCRs on preschoolers for every cough etc - yes people have had to do this incredibly frequently because small children are constantly getting bugs, yes it has been awful and has put huge pressure on families and jobs, parents of small children have been talking about this for over a year, where have you been?!

Tbf it has actually been possible to get PCRs for most of that time. The circumstances have changed quite significantly over the past few weeks.

I was always very much in the school of don't send your child in if they are ill and have always kept mine off if sick. However, he is now had so many days off whilst waiting for PCR results that it's becoming unrealistic to keep him off with every cold, as he would hardly be there. School give vague advice and when he has been a close contact a number of times, they have only suggested everyone get a PCR once. He is picking up everything now having always had great attendance (now rubbish!). The school want people in and have said if they have colds they should be in. He's had yet another cold this weekend with a slight cough but is well in himself. I've had him off a couple of days and LFT every day, all negative so have sent him. Soon testing will be stopped so it's all going to be relative and something we have to deal with. Flu going round could inadvertently cause a vulnerable relative to be very ill - where does the line get drawn moving forwards? The Government are actively working towards the 'live with it' strategy so we are going to have to do this, like it or not.

Is it a productive cough or a dry one? If my child had a productive cough, a negative LFT would be enough for me to send her in, sorry.

It’s just a complete waste of resources and time and money to send a child with a cold for a PCR if they have already tested negative on a LFT.

She tested negative, the mother brought proof

@CUniverse

Did she? Bring proof, I mean.
Do you work at the nursery?

@kittensinthekitchen I could have misread, but that is what OP wrote no, that the mother brought it in?

I didn't double before answering you admittedly.

I work there too, sure.

Surely it doesn't matter whether mother brought in 'proof'. So easy to bring in a fake result if she had wanted...