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Original poster

15 yr old doesn't want the vaccine.

411 replies

legohurts16 · 31/12/2021 22:40

My 15 yr old DD does not want the covid vaccine. She doesn't think the benefits outweigh the risks. She is very mature and has read up on the subject and is adamant that at the moment she doesn't want it.

Her reasons are that it was - a rushed vaccine with little testing- the illness is so mild in children and teens that she doesn't think it is necessary. Me and my DH really want her to have it but I suppose ultimately it is her decision. Her 13 yr old brother and all her cousins have been vaccinated and in her friendship group it is literally half and half.

She says at the moment she isn't planning on going to Spain or the US so it isn't necessary. My hubby is adamant she has to have it and has booked her an appointment for Monday and will take her kicking and screaming if he has too. Funnily enough at the start of the pandemic he was the one who said there would be no way he would vaccinate our children against a mild illness but now omricon is here he is worried for her.

Should she be forced if we feel it is right or should she be free to make her own choice?

OP posts:
5zeds · 01/01/2022 12:36

I think being proud of young people who prioritise protecting the vulnerable in society and disgusted with those who don’t should be the norm. Your daughter can’t be forced to consent but I don’t think she should be shielded from the consequences of that and what peoples real thoughts are likely to be. How will she learn if you pretend what she’s chosen is great?

If she walked past an elderly person who had fallen in the street because she didn’t want to help, would you just say “well it’s her choice”, or would you take the time to explain that while it might inconvenience her, stopping and helping is something you would do because it is important to help those less able?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/01/2022 12:43

@5zeds

I think being proud of young people who prioritise protecting the vulnerable in society and disgusted with those who don’t should be the norm. Your daughter can’t be forced to consent but I don’t think she should be shielded from the consequences of that and what peoples real thoughts are likely to be. How will she learn if you pretend what she’s chosen is great?

If she walked past an elderly person who had fallen in the street because she didn’t want to help, would you just say “well it’s her choice”, or would you take the time to explain that while it might inconvenience her, stopping and helping is something you would do because it is important to help those less able?

Can't really compare stopping to help someone in the street to putting something in your body.
Totallydefeated · 01/01/2022 12:44

@5zeds

I think being proud of young people who prioritise protecting the vulnerable in society and disgusted with those who don’t should be the norm. Your daughter can’t be forced to consent but I don’t think she should be shielded from the consequences of that and what peoples real thoughts are likely to be. How will she learn if you pretend what she’s chosen is great?

If she walked past an elderly person who had fallen in the street because she didn’t want to help, would you just say “well it’s her choice”, or would you take the time to explain that while it might inconvenience her, stopping and helping is something you would do because it is important to help those less able?

This is a level of hyperbole that’s just beyond. Not even remotely comparable to this situation. Are you very anxious about Covid?
5zeds · 01/01/2022 12:45

Yes far less personal benefit to helping an old lady back on her feet.

XenoBitch · 01/01/2022 12:49

So many people saying OP's DD must have been doing flawed research. What if she does look at whatever is the "right" research, and still decides she does not want the vaccine?
How many people have blindly accepted the vaccine without doing any research at all?
It is important this young lady knows that she can say 'no' to things to do with her body, and she does not need to give an explanation as to why.

Blubells · 01/01/2022 12:51

If she walked past an elderly person who had fallen in the street because she didn’t want to help, would you just say “well it’s her choice”, or would you take the time to explain that while it might inconvenience her, stopping and helping is something you would do because it is important to help those less able?

Ridiculous comparison - of course we should all help others if we can.

But perhaps not if 'helping others' requires getting injected with a vaccine whose benefits are possibly quite a lot lower than the costs (side effects, screwed up Menstruation cycle)? Especially as the current vaccines aren't even very effective against omicron!!

PinkTree7 · 01/01/2022 12:52

That isn’t correct @Beadebaser. Gillick competence means that a DC who understands a medical decision and the consequences can decide whether they want it or not, regardless of age.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/01/2022 12:52

Are you very anxious about Covid?

Trying to reduce this to personal anxiety is pretty low.

Vegetalienne · 01/01/2022 12:53

My hubby is adamant she has to have it and has booked her an appointment for Monday and will take her kicking and screaming if he has too.

If my partner did that to our children, our relationship would be over.

If you want her to have it, the only thing you should do is talk to her.

Caramellatteplease · 01/01/2022 13:05

Exams fuck up my menstrual cycle and are even less benefit to the individual or society if we bothered to look for a better way. Could we ban those too.

XenoBitch · 01/01/2022 13:07

@Caramellatteplease

Exams fuck up my menstrual cycle and are even less benefit to the individual or society if we bothered to look for a better way. Could we ban those too.
You would be happy to be treated by a doctor who had never done any exams?
5zeds · 01/01/2022 13:11

Are you very anxious about Covid?
I don’t think so. I’m not sure how I’d quantify that? @Totallydefeated are you fairly anxious about all medical intervention?

3teens2cats · 01/01/2022 13:30

My 15 year old has only just had the vaccine having previously been dead against it. He has had covid and seen double jabbed people catch it easily so is argument was around not seeing the point of it. The emergence of omicron was influential in changing his mind. He wasn't bothered about catching it again but began to see that he would most likely pass it on to us and he remembers the inconvenience of when dh and I last had it. He knows that could still happen but the liklihood is reduced a bit. He had to come to this decision for himself. You cannot force them. Keep gently talking about the pros and cons, take care not to nag and bang on about it.

KnottyKnitting · 01/01/2022 13:36

T*here have been many, many reports of the vaccine having effects on periods.
*
There is also anecdotal evidence to suggest that COVID itself affects menstrual cycles.

Both of my DDs have had COVID and report that this has also had an effect on their periods for a few months.

That said I do think it's her choice, however misinformed.

chaosrabbitland · 01/01/2022 13:37

@Caramellatteplease

Exams fuck up my menstrual cycle and are even less benefit to the individual or society if we bothered to look for a better way. Could we ban those too.
yes , but the physical effects of exams on the human body are pretty short lived i should think . none of the covid vaccines have been tried and tested for the length of time other vaccines have , we really dont know what the long term effects of them are and esp now we are being asked to have a third booster and now theres talk of a fourth in the papers . thats just a really shit comparasion
BertieQueen · 01/01/2022 13:40

Your husband is going down the route of pushing your daughter away, he is showing her no respect at all. I would be rethinking my relationship with someone who shows such little respect that he books an appointment knowing his daughter is against it and threatens to take her no matter what. Poor girl.

My 12 year old has decided to not have the vaccine and I fully support him the same as I would have if he had chosen to have the vaccine.

Beadebaser · 01/01/2022 13:44

@XenoBitch

My body, my choice - my unqualified doctor full of pseudoscience, my choice - I don’t have to do exams, my choice - is apparently the message we should be giving to 15 year olds….

Beadebaser · 01/01/2022 13:46

@BertieQueen

Your 12 year old is 4 years below the age of medical consent, and you should be supporting him to make his decision based on NHS guidance.

Booklover3 · 01/01/2022 13:47

@Vegetalienne

My hubby is adamant she has to have it and has booked her an appointment for Monday and will take her kicking and screaming if he has too.

If my partner did that to our children, our relationship would be over.

If you want her to have it, the only thing you should do is talk to her.

This
Beadebaser · 01/01/2022 13:51

Anything any child has picked up from social media, or ‘emerging science’ should not be forming their decision making - and every parents’ job is to show them the correct info.

You go straight to the NHS guidance, sit down with your child - and go through any doubts using NHS guidance.

BertieQueen · 01/01/2022 13:53

[quote Beadebaser]@BertieQueen

Your 12 year old is 4 years below the age of medical consent, and you should be supporting him to make his decision based on NHS guidance.[/quote]
Thank you for your concern but I am aware of the guidance as he is.

Just because he is 12 and below the age of medical consent doesn’t mean I am going to force him to have it and not listen to his concerns.

Beadebaser · 01/01/2022 13:57

@BertieQueen

Where did I say force?

PinkTree7 · 01/01/2022 13:58

@Beadebaser

Again, that isn’t correct. There is no ‘age or medical consent’ in the U.K.

Each individual DC will be assessed for Gillick competence, and if they can understand a treatment, the decision is theirs.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/01/2022 13:59

[quote Beadebaser]@BertieQueen

Your 12 year old is 4 years below the age of medical consent, and you should be supporting him to make his decision based on NHS guidance.[/quote]
How do you know she hasn't?

Beadebaser · 01/01/2022 14:04

@PinkTree7

Yes there is!

www.nhs.uk/conditions/consent-to-treatment/children/