Anyone else feel Covid has taken their mojo?

[Marianne1234]

For want of a better expression.

I’ve always been a sociable person. Enjoyed going out for meals, pubs, cinema etc. i also loved going to friends houses for dinner and drinks, and also hosting them at ours.

Recently I have just lost all interest. Not in an agoraphobia/anxiety way - I have no real fear of Covid (omicron is a head cold) although I do for the most part follow the rules (and have done throughout). I’ve had my jabs. I can go places like the supermarket etc because I need to. that’s all fine.

I just can’t be bothered with it. I can’t be bothered with other people. I can’t be bothered making the effort. I just want to stay in my bubble with my kids. I don’t really know whats happened to me.

Husband said to me today that we need to have our neighbours over (good friends, always had a good laugh and a few drinks with them regularly) and to be honest I just can’t think of anything worse. The effort. The cleaning. He also wants us to go out together soon because it’s been a while. That means kids to grandparents. Having to find something half decent to wear. No. Just leave me alone.

Husband is concerned I’ll have no pals left. He isn’t really sharing my apathy (although he doesn’t go out much himself).

I also need to, NEED TO lose some weight. And start being more groomed etc like I used to be. And I just can’t find it in me. I don’t have the energy and suddenly it doesn’t seem important (but it IS important).

I WFH full time and I wonder if this is really what’s behind it. It’s like I am completely out of the way of socialising. Maybe I’ve lost my confidence with it?

Yes I feel most of us have some low level depression at this stage.

I think it’s very hard living in a sort of semi-permanent state of uncertainty.
So you can’t really plan. Or you can but there’s the expectation that things will be cancelled at the last minute. So you stop looking forward to things.

I’m sure the psychological fallout of the pandemic will be huge. Not just from Covid itself but all the messaging and fear created by the government when they choose to. Then the different messaging when they want you to eat out.

Normally holidays are the one thing people look forward to switch off and relax but travel is still stressful and I understand why many don’t fancy it.

All this is energy sapping I guess.
I do enjoy socialising but I’ve lost all my energy (and skill) for hosting. I’ve done Christmas dinner for 11 then just hosted my parents for 3 days and now have to muster some energy to plan and shop for then host a NYE dinner. Completely overstretched myself after just getting over Covid.

I think I need to lie down for a week come January.

Friends are worse than I am, I think. I will force myself out when something is arranged because I know it's good for me but most often another friend will cancel.

It's also the first time in my adult life when I haven't had a valid passport. The cost of renewing it when I don't know when I will be free to travel means I keep putting it off.

I think I've got the January blues early as well. I had Christmas to look forward to through December; but as soon as 25th was out the way it was a case of a miserable January to look forward to with Covid on the rampage.

In a literal way, yes. We did a big house project this year. By November it was almost finished, we just had bits to do. I love this bit of house projects. Got covid and it completely took the wind out of my sails. Been a lemon ever since, even though physically am fine.

I mean it makes me feel less alone to read these responses but it’s also concerning. It’s clearly a fairly widespread feeling. I think mild depression is correct really. If I didn’t have the kids I think I would struggle to get out of bed at all some days. They’ve been an absolute godsend for me, the kids. They’ve given me a purpose through this. Forced me to get up, dressed, take them to school etc. Make some effort when I really haven’t wanted to.

I have WFH since March 2020. That won’t change. They are talking about reducing office space. While wfh has many benefits and certainly makes logistics of school pick ups etc easier…it’s very isolating. I miss the days when we were all in the office. Eating chocolate and talking shite. Talking through difficult pieces of work. Having a moan. The thing is, even if we went back to the office on some kind of hybrid basis it’ll still never be the same again. We’ll never all be there at the same time.

I feel a lot of what’s been expressed on here. I think it’s quite widespread. I’m not worried about Covid or catching it.

But I realise that when I think of the future and future plans, the future is actually really just the next week or so. I was never like this before. I’ve found it difficult to get over the uncertainty and the threat of any plans being cancelled. I hosted a big family dinner this Xmas for 15 which I’ve done many times before and I really jus couldn’t be arsed with it all.

Whilst I’ve complied with all the rules regarding face masks, I absolutely bloody hate them. Such a barrier to normal social interaction. Covid has created a widespread ennui.

Has anyone else noticed that people’s social skills have declined and that people have kind of lost some of their filter? So many ppl being outright rude and snappy.

Oh yes, I can relate to this. I'm not exactly unhappy but the effort in making plans that may be cancelled, going to places that I used to walk in to that now require booking, testing before meeting up...it's all a lot of hard work that doesn't seem worth the reward. I have done almost nothing for months now. I'm trying to force myself to "micro socialise" - meeting a friend for coffee if I'm nearby, walking round the park with a friend who has a dog as they are out anyway, etc. but not with any real enthusiasm. I miss people but can't be bothered...I suspect I have a touch of mild depression exacerbated by lack of sunshine and low level stress but it doesn't seem worth trying to sort out medically when so many other people have greater needs.

There was a good article about this in the New York Times last year. They called the emotion ‘‘languishing’- the neglected middle child of mental health.’ Claiming its was set to be the dominant emotion of 2021.

@Delatron

There was a good article about this in the New York Times last year. They called the emotion ‘‘languishing’- the neglected middle child of mental health.’ Claiming its was set to be the dominant emotion of 2021.

That sounds like dying a slow death (and when it comes to motivation levels, it certainly feels like it!)

Did they offer any advice on how to tackle it?

Just searched the term and found this, have not read it in detail but at a glance, looks useful.

www.verywellmind.com/languishing-is-the-mood-of-2021-5180999

@GrandmasCat the term does sound awful (but apt!)! I’ve gone back to reread and I’ve reached my maximum article limit!

I remember after reading it, feeling relieved that it was normal to feel that way after what we have been (and are going through). The psychological impact of this constant low level stress and worry for nearly two years now shouldn’t be underestimated.

I think it will just take time to get those mojos and energy back and we need to be kind to ourselves in the meantime.

Good find @GrandmasCat

I remember after reading it, feeling relieved that it was normal to feel that way after what we have been (and are going through). The psychological impact of this constant low level stress and worry for nearly two years now shouldn’t be underestimated.

I agree. Someone last year coined the term 'Coronacoaster' and it really sums up the past 2 years for me. The constant feeling of stress and uncertainty, going from hope to despair, cautiously looking forward to something only for it to be disappointed, and even 'fun' things not being that much fun anymore.

And all with no end date. And there's really nothing anyone in the world can do about it.

Yeah you kind of become numb to all the disappointment and fun things being cancelled.

So difficult to muster up energy and enthusiasm for things.

Coronacoaster is a good term!

I understand the sentiments and feelings on this thread. I can safely say I am depressed, but those around me are definitely languishing. Family and friends with no mojo. Oddly, as I know I'm depressed I think I'm trying a bit more not to sink completely. Does that make sense? The French have a good word - ennui.

I am an extrovert, or at least not an introvert, and I am ready to go out and do things now. But none of my friends want to. They have sunk into a sort of mire and don't want to leave the house.

Work is also WFH so I never see anyone. I am trying to convert myself into an introvert. I think that is the future.

@JanisMoplin

I am an extrovert, or at least not an introvert, and I am ready to go out and do things now. But none of my friends want to. They have sunk into a sort of mire and don't want to leave the house.

Work is also WFH so I never see anyone. I am trying to convert myself into an introvert. I think that is the future.

I'm an introvert. I remember back in the first lockdown thinking that my everyday life wasn't really so different. However, due to the nature of my job, my downtime was always interspersed with bursts of activity involving travel and meeting lots of people. Now, I just have the downtime. I live alone, mostly WFH so could go through days without speaking to anyone in 'real life'. And as mentioned above, none of the incidental, casual contact with others that used to happen just as a part of everyday life.

Even as an introvert, this is no way to live.

Agree with a lot of these posts. WFH, no interaction with other humans, weight gain...mental health shot to shit. All anyone talks about is Covid. Not worth trying to book a holiday to anywhere.
Its all very bleak

@Lacedwithgrace

Socialising is so boring now. I'm still being very cautious and only going out for shopping, no meals out or events. I've seen my closest friend a couple of times in the garden and it's lovely but I find texting just as good as seeing her! I have no interest in meeting new people or joining hobby groups. It feels so weird to not care about seeing other people

I am not picking on you or anything but this line really scares me " I find texting just as good as seeing her." DH and I were talking about how we are now moving towards a new way of life: almost entirely screenbased. DH is an introvert and will adapt quite well, but I won't. He said "It's ;ike old time truckdrivers suddenly being replaced by Tesla's automatic cars." I am an old time truckdriver.

I agree.
Everything feels like an absolute arse ache.
Sick of masks, my skin is sore and full of acne because of them, sick of doing nice makeup for it to be smudged and face hidden.
Things might get cancelled.
Things might not happen because of random symptoms and/or testing.
I just can't be arsed anymore.

I am not picking on you or anything but this line really scares me " I find texting just as good as seeing her." DH and I were talking about how we are now moving towards a new way of life: almost entirely screenbased. DH is an introvert and will adapt quite well, but I won't. He said "It's ;ike old time truckdrivers suddenly being replaced by Tesla's automatic cars." I am an old time truckdriver.

Yes, my work is breezily talking about 'adapting to a post-pandemic future' with 'hybrid models' and 'digital delivery'. It's great for them as they stand to save a fortune on paying us travel expenses and the like. So they're happy enough about it.

However, it just makes me feel sad. I liked what are now seen as the old ways. I guess I'm lucky in that I should still have an income source, but the words 'blended' or 'hybrid' just fill me with dread. I liked things the way they were.

@IcedPurple I am so old that I remember when we went from writing letters to writing emails, and feeling sad about it! But I adapted. I guess I will adapt to this too. But I am a lot older and more tired because of the coronacoaster.

All the joy has been sucked out of life!
No one wants to do anything.
No plans are made.
I've literally ran out of anything to talk about as I've been nowhere and done nothing

[quote JanisMoplin]@IcedPurple I am so old that I remember when we went from writing letters to writing emails, and feeling sad about it! But I adapted. I guess I will adapt to this too. But I am a lot older and more tired because of the coronacoaster.[/quote]
I think the difference is that emails have made communication more easy. An email was just a quicker, cheaper and more efficient substitute for a letter. It didn't replace face to face interaction, nor was it intended to.

Whereas in this new 'digital world', we're supposed to think that 'interacting' online is 'just as good' as the real thing. But I just don't see it that way. It has its uses, but a life lived online is not a life.