Anyone else feel Covid has taken their mojo?

[Marianne1234]

For want of a better expression.

I’ve always been a sociable person. Enjoyed going out for meals, pubs, cinema etc. i also loved going to friends houses for dinner and drinks, and also hosting them at ours.

Recently I have just lost all interest. Not in an agoraphobia/anxiety way - I have no real fear of Covid (omicron is a head cold) although I do for the most part follow the rules (and have done throughout). I’ve had my jabs. I can go places like the supermarket etc because I need to. that’s all fine.

I just can’t be bothered with it. I can’t be bothered with other people. I can’t be bothered making the effort. I just want to stay in my bubble with my kids. I don’t really know whats happened to me.

Husband said to me today that we need to have our neighbours over (good friends, always had a good laugh and a few drinks with them regularly) and to be honest I just can’t think of anything worse. The effort. The cleaning. He also wants us to go out together soon because it’s been a while. That means kids to grandparents. Having to find something half decent to wear. No. Just leave me alone.

Husband is concerned I’ll have no pals left. He isn’t really sharing my apathy (although he doesn’t go out much himself).

I also need to, NEED TO lose some weight. And start being more groomed etc like I used to be. And I just can’t find it in me. I don’t have the energy and suddenly it doesn’t seem important (but it IS important).

I WFH full time and I wonder if this is really what’s behind it. It’s like I am completely out of the way of socialising. Maybe I’ve lost my confidence with it?

Oh this is me too. I do make an effort to go out of invited and I have just had friends round for dinner and it was lovely, but generally, day to day, I just can’t be arsed. I was always out doing things, but everything seems so much harder.

Advances bookings for everything (all baby groups etc), means that even passive socialising has gone.

No one is doing what they ‘usually’ would. So all those lunches etc pre Christmas when you’d just casually bump into people have all gone.

I feel it’s the same for everything. People you’d maybe just bump into in town, they are now working from home so aren’t out at lunchtime or whatever.

I really hope it ends. I feel like a shell of myself.

That being said, I did join a running group last March and it has been a life saver for me.

Similar for me. I make the effort to do things, but it is a BIG effort and I am exhausted afterwards. I don't seem to get the same enjoyment out of activities that I used to.

I agree with pp who say it's the stress of managing infection risk. It's also dealing with the uncertainty. I wfh full time too and that must be a factor.

100% agree OP, I used to organise a local fair, the last one being 2019 and I just couldn’t be bothered in 2021, not sure if I will do it in 2022 either, I just can’t find the motivation to want to do it. I have been out socially and enjoyed it but I’m certainly not as busy as I was pre Covid.

I can totally relate. This has been me since my kids went back to school after the early lock down this year. I think a lot of people will be feeling the same.

I was thinking yesterday than covid has taken away my laid back approach to everything being ok and excitement for things planned in the future. Now if I book anything exciting or fun (holidays, shows, nights out) there’s a high chance it’ll be cancelled anyway so I can get excited which is just a bit crap.

I feel like I’ve lost my anticipation and excitement for the future which is rubbish.

Yes.

I used to live for travel, which I did a lot for work. My life revolved around my regular short trips abroad. Obviously, that's gone now and I doubt it will be back.

I'm desperate to get travelling again, but when I think about all the uncertainty and stress with tests, 'red lists', masks, 'distancing', cancellations, booking in advance etc, I just can't be bothered. Everything is just too much trouble and stress.

Yeah I can't be arsed either! I'm ok doing stuff in the day but socialising at night god no! A friend recently had a go because no one arranges to anything but her. No one can be arsed!!!! I was not like this before covid but also I have a two year old so this is probably some of it too.

*Advances bookings for everything (all baby groups etc), means that even passive socialising has gone.

No one is doing what they ‘usually’ would. So all those lunches etc pre Christmas when you’d just casually bump into people have all gone.

I feel it’s the same for everything. People you’d maybe just bump into in town, they are now working from home so aren’t out at lunchtime or whatever.*

That's how I feel. People say "Oh but you can still go out and meet with people, can't you?" And yes, I can. But as you say, the incidental socialising, the bumping into people, the impromptu chat with a stranger in the pub, that's all gone.

Life is just so monotone now.

It's hard to relax when out when there's a constant underlying worry about someone having Covid.

When cases were lower I did go to a concert and the theatre and it was good. Not completely relaxed but good.

Now cases are extremely high I just don't enjoy the thought of being out with others. I'll stick to my family bubble and outside activities.

When I'm not socialising I do tend to get outside more and do walking and cycling. That helps with feeling ok and both mental and physical health.

Totally agree
I have also let myself go I used to work in an office and dressed up for work made an effort with my appearance and now live in joggers and my hair hardly sees a brush . Looks like I have aged 10 years
Have no excitement really now never go anywhere and just wishing like rest of world to get back to 2019 life
It’s really unbelievable the impact this has had on everyone’s lives to a greater or lesser degree .

I hear you!! I've gone from being outgoing and sociable to a bit of a hermit but all that is going to change in 2022, time to find my mojo and get my heels back on! I have no fear of covid, never did but I think living a life filled with uncertainty has taken its toll on many of us.

Yes, I feel the same.
I do the things I need to do like food shops, school etc but I do not want to socialise with people anymore. If I am truly honest, I haven’t missed anyone during the pandemic. I have welcomed the break from a lot of people and just enjoyed being with my DH and DC. Also in my head i think ‘is it worth catching covid for?’ And most of the time the answer is no. I don’t feel sad that I now feel this way. I am happy just to be home. I think the pandemic has taught me what is important and what isn’t.

I'm the same alt6i no longer wfh as the loneliness was awful. I'm just hanging on waiting for it all to end. Not scared of covid either.

Yes, agree OP and said exactly this last week.

I have done some socialising but the joy seems to have been sucked out of it somehow.

I think part of it is about erosion of our social skills, and wrestling with a whole new set of social rules - I used to be a hugger (love hugging my mates) but now we shouldn't so it all seems a bit formal and strange. But sometimes I just leap,forward and do it anyway and it's awkward. It feels like a level of intimacy with close friends has been dented / depleted somehow.

And we need so much resilience and energy to organise, postpone, then reorganise things, even causal meeting up for tea and cake stuff. It all just seems so much hassle.

It's also hard to enjoy any anticipation of events and outings as they so often get cancelled.

When I have been out, it's been enjoyable but just not as relaxed and there is a tangible atmosphere out there (I'm in London ).

I've had clinical depression a couple of times in the past and I have to say that this feels like a long-running mild depression of sorts.

That said, we are lucky in the UK - plenty of vaccines, food, some places open to go to. I guess it will just take time to get back to a better level of predictability that we can rely on to bring us the happiness and social freedom we've been used to. It's quite sobering though and I've been actively checking my privilege to make sure I don't wallow too much. But it's hard !

I feel the same way! The only time I've really felt more like my old self was when I went on holiday in the summer - just seeing the sea, exploring a new place etc was amazing.

Like PPs I find being outdoors helps a lot, which is tougher at this time of year. WFH also makes that harder as my job is so full on - at least the commute enforces a break and easily covers my 10k steps. WFH is more like living at work...

Yes I can relate, I feel like this too. I think the various lockdowns gave me 'permission' if you like, to step back from socialising and highlighted that I was quite happy without some of it. That perhaps there were people / events in my life that I spent time with or going along to, because I felt I should not because I actually wanted to.

December has been really busy, plans every week for us and the DC and it's felt exhausting and overwhelming to be honest. I would rather be at home, chilling, sorting out home related things, spending time as a family.

Homeschooling and WFH was very intense and I think that's left me with a sense of relief that I can now relax (for now, as long as it lasts in the NY) in my home and I want to make the most of it.

"I feel like I’ve lost my anticipation and excitement for the future which is rubbish."

I actually think this is very very serious. Covid, the changes that have happened because of covid, has meant life will never be the same. Covid had robbed us of a lot.

Can you bear to live like this the rest of your lives? Even when it's over, a lot of this will stay the same. How sad.

Me too OP. I'm completely disconnected from everything. Part of the issue for me is that nothing is simple or easy or spontaneous any more - everything has to be booked way in advance, you have to navigate other people's anxiety levels about Covid and requests re testing / venues etc, the conversations tend to be about Covid or covid-related issues - eg worries about impact of Covid on kids education. It's all wearing and not worth the effort of meeting.

Also I know I hold different views to some friends - eg I am completely against mandatory vaccination and I dread these subjects coming up in conversation. I think Covid has had the effect of polarising society and this has impacted on my relationships

I feel the same, Before Covid I was always out and about and couldn’t bear the idea of staying at home after 9am on a weekend or not leaving on weekends for the coast or the hills. I could crawl the walls if I had to stay home during the weekend and hardly watched any TV as all my evenings were full of interesting stuff.

These days I am finding it difficult even to crawl out of bed.

Yes I feel exactly the same, I just feel so tired all the time now.

Me too - and I don’t think it’s good for me at all, particularly as a single parent. It’s also a bit like I just always default to the east option of doing nothing - whereas ( for me anyway!) I don’t think that’s healthy.

I did feel better when started going to the office twice a week - even though the commute etc felt like an effort. But on the day lots of us were in I definitely felt more alive - even then though it wasn’t exactly like work used to be.

I’m hoping late spring things will start to feel better again and the gradually we will all start to reconnect and get some regular carefree socialising again ( well those of us who want to!).

Me too. I can't be bothered with my hair anymore, not even sure what style it's meant to be it's so grown out. If a friend suggests meeting up my heart sinks (well, depending on the friend!). I feel so boring and listless. At least Spring is on its way soonish - these endless grey drizzly days don't help.

Yes I agree to an extent. Everything has the possibility of of being cancelled/ inconvenience of catching covid/ difficulty around vulnerable family members. Nothing is particularly fun anymore . Maybe our brains have got used to being more insular / less chatting about inane stuff at work etc. I don't know why but will be interested to see if anyone has any answers.

I feel very much like this. On one hand I’m bemoaning that my social life has fallen off a cliff and I have no local friends as loads have moved away during covid/ never want to meet up and on the other I’m barely leaving the house because I can’t be arsed myself.

It's taken my motivation.

I'm the opposite. I'm putting off travel abroad, but am planning several UK breaks in the next 6 months, have 4 gigs in the diary, we go out at least twice a week to eat, plus drinks/ coffees/ lunches. I go to the gym 4 times a week.
We are early 60s and I'm not dead yet! I have no intention of staying in when I can get out.
Neither if us have had covid, regularly do LFTs and are vaxxed to the hilt.