Don't know what to do about family

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

Parents/siblings have super acute health anxiety.
I don't because I work in the NHS and can't afford to spend my days in a state. I just get on with it.
Anyway they have not left the house for 2 years despite being double vaccinated and boostered. Parents are in their 80's.
They will not let me visit unless I isolate in a hotel for a week and test everyday.
Ok for siblings to do that they don't work but I can only have a weeks holiday at a time and cannot leave my pets for a whole week.
I honestly believe that I will not see my parents until they die if this goes on.
Is it really normal to be so paranoid? There is no way I'd not see my adult DS, I'd prefer to risk my life than not see him because life would be absolutely miserable for us both.
They have reached peak anxiety all egging each other on it's like mass hysteria and I have no idea what to do about it.
I live 400 miles away so I can't just pop round and speak to them outside the house.

It’s not normal. I wouldn’t see them in person if those are their terms and conditions.

What would you normally do when you visit them?

You know that’s not normal.

There really is no reasoning with people who are so extreme.

In your shoes I might take holiday to stay in a hotel nearby, and see them in the garden at distance each day, or for distanced walks outdoors, if they would do that. Whatever level of contact they are ok with, that doesn’t involve you isolating for a week!

Back when we weren’t allowed to mix indoors but could meet in gardens, my parents stayed in a nearby hotel and we spent all day in our garden (garden needed a makeover so it worked out well!)

What are your siblings doing?

Video call them .

Btw I agree clearly it’s an unreasonable approach they have, but I’d want to find a way to see them that they could cope with, and don’t think I’d fancy trying to tackle their anxiety myself without them wanting to work on it themselves.

Could you say you have isolated at home for a week before travelling, even if you went off sick with the stress of not seeing them. Whether you do isolate is up to you but I don't think I would be feeding the anxiety by staying home.

Normally pre covid as a matter of course they would like people to wash their hands on entering the house, take shoes off etc.
Post covid the paranoia has racked up to fever pitch. I have to do an LFT daily for work anyway so I've got a full week of negatives at all times.
One of my siblings emigrated and I wasn't allowed to go there and say goodbye to the kids in the garden, I was asked to stay away.
Ff's they had a 100 foot garden.
Yes I can skype and so on, but it's not the same as they are all deaf and can't make out what I'm saying and generally hopeless with technology so it's difficult.
I feel like just giving up tbh, this level of paranoia needs a psychiatrist which I'm not.

They wouldn't accept isolating at home, my cats go out and they think I can catch covid off the cats.

@TooWicked

You know that’s not normal.

There really is no reasoning with people who are so extreme.

Sorry, I think that sums it up.

My parents are in their 80s too.

My best friend has seen her parents in the two summers, but as soon as they heard about the new variant, that was it - they don't want their children or grandchildren visiting.

I'm sorry
I really don't think there's anything to be done.

Sorry, I should have said, my parents are in 80s and living fairly normally.