To feel at wits end with anti vax relative

[pinkmink]

My father is an anti vaxxer. He has had one vaccine but is refusing the rest, I’m not sure why.

My 90 year old grandad is due to spend Christmas with us. He is triple vaxxed. Arrives Christmas Eve morning.

My anti vax dad has refused to take a PCR test this week. The plan was to do lateral flows on Xmas eve morning, before granddad arrives. Dad has now announced he wants to go Christmas shopping and to the pub on Christmas Eve. This means he will return to the house, potentially bringing the virus.

AIBU to feel absolutely at my wits end? I am upset by the lack of consideration for others.

Your house, your rules. If he chooses to go out Xmas Eve then he stays home Xmas day.
And if he’s not keen on vaccinations ask him why we no longer have polio, diphtheria, smallpox.

Ooh - I didn’t realise it takes a few days to be infectious. That’s good.

Oh dear me, what a world we live in. I really never is going to get back to normal is it with people like you.

Your grandad is 90. Im sure he would prefer to spend xmas with his family while he can rather than live another few years shut in the house. Yabvu.

Tell him he can't come simple.
Anti vaxxers are responsible for many hundreds of deaths and people suffering but are very quick to take a hospital bed.

Those were proven vaccines that worked. This vaccine does not stop you catching or spreading covid.
The news today re omicron having far milder symptoms is great. No more lockdowns :)

@whymewhyme

Oh dear me, what a world we live in. I really never is going to get back to normal is it with people like you.

You sound like my dad. My family have been living their normal lives the whole time, and have not cancelled any plans this week. Just daily testing.

However the red line for me is my unvaccinated father deciding to go into busy shops and the pub on Christmas Eve and then coming directly to mine, rather than just doing his test Christmas Eve morning and avoiding people for one day. Sounds pretty reasonable to me.

He should take an LFT test if that is your wishes. I would do that in this situation. Not sure about the PCR, I know people with symptoms who have struggled to get one this week and have needed one.

He isn't an anti-vaxxer though. He has had vaccines and isn't stopping or trying to convince someone else to not have a vaccine. People really do need to know the difference between a genuine anti-vaxxer and someone who is not keen on having a second jab. Anti-vaxxers don't normally have vaccines.....

karmastar give your head a wobble. The vast vast majority of unvaccinated folk who catch Covid do not end up in hospital and do not clog up the system.

It appears Grandad doesn't know yet about the plans. Surely if there is an issue it's up to him?
Why would you block your father from coming without even knowing if the vulnerable person wants that?

Why do random people on Mumsnet profess to that the poster’s father is unequivocally not an anti-vaxer or covid denier when they haven’t discussed his views on this with him? More likely the OP knows her father’s views.

Ok, he’s had 1 vaccine (of 3) - perhaps quite some time ago. People’s views do change. He promotes conspiracy theories which weren’t so widespread when the vaccines were first made so it’s possible his stance changed.

To state he can’t be anti-vaccine is akin to saying that someone who promotes racist propaganda isn’t a racist because they have 1 black friend.

Thank you @VVKills27

Maybe some of the people on this thread can help me understand his thinking, if you hold similar views. He’s not an uneducated man so there must be something in his beliefs. I worry he is misguided though. I don’t want him to get ill (or him to make anyone else ill) because of some rubbish he’s read.

His argument is that he is sufficiently protected with one vaccine. He doesn’t want to get the next two because he thinks they’ll do him more harm than covid will. Today, he was telling us that most people with omnicron are vaccinated - therefore it’s a pandemic of the vaccinated. I think he believes he’s less likely to get covid than a vaccinated person is.

He doesn’t want to participate in mask wearing or regular testing because it’s a slippery slope. I am on board with lockdowns being a slippery slope but can’t get my head around being anti mask etc.

My family have been living their normal lives the whole time, and have not cancelled any plans this week. Just daily testing.

Daily testing and the results thereof determining your activities for the day is most definitely not “living s normal life”.

My 90 year old grandad is due to spend Christmas with us. He is triple vaxxed. Arrives Christmas Eve morning

What would worry me about this is that being 90, he probably got his booster a while ago. Meaning, he will now have some lowering of vaccine defence/antibodies against the virus, because of the time that has passed since his booster.

If your dad is saying he is going shopping and to the pub Xmas eve, and is as you say, in covid denial and posting conspiracy nonsense, then he is probably doing all the pub and shopping stuff now anyway

I would say you have to protect the most vulnerable, which would be Grandad due to age of 90 and time since booster. You might also add that you have concerns about dad too.

That sorry but it's probably best if he (dad) doesn't come on Xmas day. After all, he can always to the pub can't he?

Your dad has probably read this from the ons website. I think personally it should be up to your grandad who he spends his Xmas with as at his age it could be his last one.