DS unwilling to have booster - DH mild cancer - reasonable to be concerned?

[Lowenna1469]

DS2 will be coming home for Christmas. Double vaccinated but reluctant to have the booster because he thinks that we'll be having boosters every year, for the rest of our lives, so why bother.

DS3 is likely to have Omicron. Tested positive with a LFT and today had a PCR for confirmation. If the result is confirmed, for the second year running, he sadly won't be able to come home.

I've had Covid (pre booster) and it was awful.

DH, double vaccinated and boosted, has a very recent diagnosis of cancer. Presently mild so being actively surveilled rather than treated but still I worry that he may have little - or less - protection and a poorer immune response.

I wish DS2 wouldn't be quite so obstinate. I don't want an argument, not before Christmas, but I worry about DH in particular.

Any reassurance or thoughts?

Your DS won't get the booster even though his dad has cancer??
Though it's too late now even if he got it tomorrow it wouldn't protect him from catching it before Christmas.

DS2s has not really given a reason has he? Well not one that makes sense. Basically he can't be bothered as will have to have them yearly!? Eh?
Why not just talk to him calmly and nicely and say your concerned for his Dad would he consider having the booster to protect him?

My approach would probably be to say the point of the booster - for this at least - is that it could help reduce the risk to his father. Next year he can hopefully do what he likes, but for now you’d hope he could see the value in getting it. But unfortunately, you can’t make him.

… - for this year at least - …

Well the flu jab is yearly. Would he also turn that down on the same basis?

My mum has terminal cancer. My ds is CV. My dad is in remission from cancer.

We all have flu jab each year to help protect mum. As it is my sister, me and ds get it as nhs, vulnerable and carer but we would and do pay private for jab if we can't in our immediate family. Dad also gets it as mums carer and her due ti cancer. That's every year.

Same with covid booster. We get it for ourselves because we are mostly qualifying due to health needs but it's the risks of passing it to mum that makes us get it the most.

I'd be disappointed mostly in his CBA attitude than not wanting it. If he genuinely had concerns and had no vaccine I'd respect his decision more IMHO.

Even if he got the booster within the next five minutes, it wouldn't do any good for Christmas.

What pp said. I don't agree with your ds re: booster but it won't give him additional protection straight away.

Generally it is treatment that causes issues with immune system in cancer patients, so while I absolutely see that the last thing your dh needs is feeling shit with covid, he won't necessarily be at extra risk if currently only being monitored.

What's your sons problem with having a booster every year, maybe?

I have flu jabs every year once scientists have researched which strain is likely to be dominant. So what? It's a quick jab in the arm, no big hardship. I realise this is not the case for the truly needle phobic.

Can he not do this, for the sake of his father?

As pp has said, that ship he sailed now, he's a possible danger to your partner

Thank you, all, for your candid responses. They're very helpful.

I hope that DS will get boosted for the longer-term. You're right - it wouldn't help in time for Christmas but it would in the months ahead and he does come home often. Also, of course, for his own protection. In his 20s and he thinks that he's invincible.

itsgettingwierd I'm very sorry to hear about your family's health and wish all of you the best for a peaceful and happy Christmas.

I thought booster doses didn’t take as long to start to work as initial doses. I’d be wanting to him it ASAP anyway.

Yes that's true but you're still looking at a week at least and presumably op is concerned that ds will come home with an infection which is as likely in the immediate days following booster as before.

Thanks again for your responses. Update is that DS is here and now getting angry that we're asking him about a booster. He could book to have it locally as he'll be at home for another week and his first two vaccinations were local.

He says he'll book but when I mentioned it for the first time this evening, as opposed to his dad who's broached the subject twice, he swore very loudly at me, using the F word. DH heard him but said nothing.

I've given DS the 119 number.

Not only does DH have cancer but my resistance is very low. I'm suffering a lot from muscular skeletal pain and though may be less susceptible to reinfection (having had Covid) than other people with different vulnerabilities, I'm feeling weak, tired and in no mood to argue with DS who, at nearly 30, should, I feel, take all this more seriously and not act with quite so petulantly. It hurts that he didn't get organised as soon as he could or as soon as it he knew about DH but if he'd only take pragmatic line now, I'd be OK.

I'm saying very little. He's a very loving son but is prone to outbursts and this is clearly no time to act quite so immaturely.

He's double vaccinated. Your husband is double vaccinated and boosted.

Anyone want to work out the odds? Even without any vaccinations at all, you only have a 0.003% chance of catching it and it being serious.

I think you're being unreasonable not your son.

I'm sorry your husband is poorly. I think that's making you think more of this than there needs to be personally.

Boosting your son is not suddenly going to make the odds massively more favourable!

I'm thinking of course about DS in all of this - and his other sibling, one of whom has Omicron (lives in London). And his friends and colleagues and all those others that he comes into contact with.

Really, not only about DH and me.

I hate rows and I have no intention of letting this turn into one. But DS does react very strongly sometimes to things that are said quietly and reasonably.

I am confused...what is a mild cancer that doesnt require treatment?

Your DH isnt any more vulnerable than anyone else, cancer treatments are want make you very vulnerable not having cancer itself.

Your DS as been double vaccinated so unsure what your issue is..

For me, the main concern would not be your DH catching omicron but the disruption to NHS services if this wave gets out of hand. Even if it doesn't lead to increased hospital admissions, there could be a lot of staff off sick and "active surveillance" might be disrupted in favour of management of more serious cases.

Of course, this is probably a less convincing argument for your son.