How to help kids MH through Covid

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How do people with resilient DC help their kids through all this uncertainty?? Not going to school? Not seeing friends and family? Clubs being closed? I know the above hasn’t happened yet but the effect of school closing last time around was frightening to see. I would like to prepare them better this time around.

I quite liked lockdown- but I like being at home and like my own company - and I accept that everyone is different. DC really needed school and other people!

What sort of things do you say to your DC, how do you deal with their sadness and disappointment on a day to day basis? How do you make the days different? How do you avoid them getting depressed and fed up?

I go between my usual briskness to trying empathy. But I struggle to hit the right note… and 9 yo in particular just got really despondent and hopeless.

I feel like other families seem to manage this better than we did! Please help, wise ones!

I find this hard too and don’t always strike the right note.

In the last couple of weeks, I found that when a Christmas party was cancelled telling my daughter we could have it at Easter instead did seem to help. We don’t give up on planning things, we think of when we can do them instead. We had a family chat about how maybe Easter parties and half birthdays will become more of a thing… I’ve also realised we only ever use conditional language about any plans

But my daughter is only 6, so this is perhaps easier at this age?

One thing I’ve found a bit disconcerting is how accepting of disappointment some of the younger kids are now. I hope this is a positive, but it’s hard to know.

Our kids were pretty tolerant of lockdown.

It helps that they have each other to play with.

I bought games consoles (they hadn't had any before) and this went down well.

They kept up music lessons on zoom and spent time practising.

We played lots of board games (and got new ones in).

They both had birthdays in lockdown. Lots of treats and a family party.

We got membership of local gardens with an outdoor cafe that did take away, in the Feb lockdown, for my daughter's birthday,. and then we went back there most weekends for tea and a tramp around.

Lots of craft activities.

When school opened up again we were lucky enough to be able to sign them up for lots of clubs.

My DS has discovered in the last term the joy of playing in bands at school and this is a great social thing. He is blossoming.

Also, he has been exploring what sort of image and hairstyle he wants, and I think he's a lot more confident about his appearance. (young teen)

Actually, we are finding the covid isolations more difficult than the lockdown. Both children missed all or part of their end of term concerts or shows because of isolation or the need to get a PCR test and that was pretty disappointing as unpredictable and difficult to plan around.

As far as lockdowns were concerned, we had time to plan and organise things to do.

Tbh I’m not this time. Their mental health has suffered too much and they have gone from two very happy children to very angry and emotional.

If schools close again I will be emailing the head and saying for the welfare of my children I will not be home schooling and they can take them in if this is an issue along with all the other vulnerable children.

How do people with resilient DC help their kids through all this uncertainty??

Some dc just are incredibly resilient, one of mine has resilience ozing out of every pore in their body. It isn't anything we have particularly done differently. They did face more difficulties and at a younger age than the other dc but other than that fairly similar parenting. If I didn't have other dc then I might think it was something we had done.

I think for all of them keeping up with friends is really important whether for a walk or on zoom.

Having little celebrations at any opportunity. Not necessarily of their achievements, though we do that, but random things, for instance rubber duck day is coming up soon!

Not panicking too much if school work takes a back seat compared to their mental wellbeing.

The hardest one we found was making sure they left the house everyday, especially in the Jan/Feb 21 lockdown. We generally failed at that one.