Covid survivor

[BallstoJingle]

I caught covid through an unvaxxed colleague and ended up in hospital with covid and adrenal failure. I was pretty unwell and yes, am grateful to have recovered - but I now have to take life saving drugs every day. I have a lot to adjust to and am not out of the woods.

Whilst in hospital some of the food staff knew one of the patients and were spending time in his room, hoping to get covid so that they would be able to be admitted and spend more time with him. I was gobsmacked.

I mentioned this by text to a friend I have known for over 20 years. She messaged me to just stop, stop complaining and I should be thankful to be alive. She then sent me the very short life stories of two friends who died from covid and said that she would love to hear them complain. I should only be able to express my gratitude that I was alive. They started Hi I'm Dan, I worked as a carer during the first lockdown, I was as fit as a horse so they said, but I got covid and died on a ventilator two days later, and the second one was similar.

To be honest it has freaked me out and I don't now know how to react to her messages. I am in a shaky place mentally myself and this has got to me.

Any advice or thoughts?

My friends are generally a bit more sympathetic to my moans than that! I would be somewhat sceptical of the texts, and I genuinely do know someone who died from covid in the first wave. Many, many people have died, but that is not a reason other people cannot have a moan.

Gosh OP, I'm sorry to hear you've been so poorly. Your friend is being very unfair. It's absolutely tragic that people have lost their lives to Covid, but that doesn't mean that you're not entitled to talk about the health consequences that you've experienced.

It sounds like she is grieving the loss of her friends and perhaps that goes some way to explaining her reaction. That doesn't mean you've done anything wrong though by talking about what sounds like a very difficult and ongoing experience. I'm not sure how to advise you about how to react. I'll have a think about it. I would advise saying nothing until you've had a bit of a chance to process it if you're feeling very wobbly.

Wishing you all the best and I hope you continue to make a good recovery!

Whilst in hospital some of the food staff knew one of the patients and were spending time in his room, hoping to get covid so that they would be able to be admitted and spend more time with him

That's bonkers. I assume you mean catering staff?

Your friend doesn't sound very nice. You have been very seriously ill and she should be supportive. I have lost someone to covid yet still felt sorry for myself when I had a my mild case and have been sympathetic to friends with mild cases and would be even more so to someone who had been through what you have.

Ditch the friend and invest your energy in people that are kind to you.

@KylieKoKo

Your friend doesn't sound very nice. You have been very seriously ill and she should be supportive. I have lost someone to covid yet still felt sorry for myself when I had a my mild case and have been sympathetic to friends with mild cases and would be even more so to someone who had been through what you have.

Ditch the friend and invest your energy in people that are kind to you.

Yes, the more I think about it the more I agree with this. She sounds like a knob. Just because someone had a worse outcome than you doesn't mean that you're not entitled to sympathy and support. Knowing there's someone worse off than you doesn't make your considerable health challenges any easier to bear!

I have autoimmune adrenal failure. I like a relatively normal life

I don’t think you owe her a reply. Just ignore her. It’s not a competition and you’ve had a dreadful time and she should respect that and offer you sympathy. If she can’t do that she isn’t your friend.

As a total side note, if you had adrenal failure I’m thinking you are now classed as having adrenal insufficiency? I have Addisons / adrenal insufficiency and it’s a lot to get your head around. This group on Facebook is very informative and supportive if you’d like to join -

www.facebook.com/groups/175948922471395/?ref=share

Thanks for the support

Yes, it was the hospital catering staff who knew the other patient and ended up spending hours in his room. Covid with your cornflakes madam?

Yes it is Addisons. I have a few health conditions already, but this one feels surreal at the moment. I'm just waiting for the final tests to confirm but my figures were under 50. Thanks for the FB group link.

Her reaction has knocked me sideways. I know covid has decimated life as we knew it and I'm very sorry for her losses, but I can't have survivor guilt because her friends died.

I think you could probably do with grounding yourself and checking in on if you are ok.

Some of the things you purport as facts you can't know to be true " I caught covid through an unvaxxed colleague " you don't know how you caught covid, you are speculating.

Could you ask yourself if you are also speculating re: the member of catering staff? Who you say "ended up spending hours in the room" of another patient?" Did that definitely happen, or was it perception? How did nobody notice that this member of staff was missing for hours on end?

Do you have a history of over exaggerating to this friend?

@imthenextinline no exaggeration involved.

Some of the catering staff would chat to him during their shift and returned after. His room was right next to mine. I could hear various things they said, including hoping that they caught covid and wanting a do not disturb sign, and could see their heads outside my door as they went to and fro. The nursing staff were also aware as I told them.

As for the unvaxxed colleague, maybe I would still have got it, I can't honestly say, but the dates added up from when she had it, made me a drink and worked in the office, and I got it. She feels guilty for what's happened.

Re: advice and thoughts can you seek talk therapy via your GP? It seems like the friend you have reached out to has no tolerance for the stories you are telling her.