Does anyone else living a life of permanent restrictions feel frustrated with people complaining?

[Highlanders372]

I've had crohns disease since I was 16. I'm now mid 40's. It's affected my education, employment, my home life, my social life. Every single aspect of being a human. My ability to function on every level. The lockdowns meant nothing to me, I've spent 30 years living a life of lockdowns. No one other than my parents and my DH have ever given a fuck about me. My friends all disappeared, my employers have been bastards, society doesn't care.

All I hear about now is how hard life is for everyone, the uncertainty, the restrictions, the financial worry, the disability caused by long covid. Poor people not being able to go to the theatre or out for their Christmas parties. I've not been able to go to the cinema or theatre since 2002. I've not attended a Christmas party since my teens. Despite all this I'm also not entitled to a bean of support of the government.

The only positive is that its made me realised how fuckiny strong I must be to have done this for 30 years when people are crumbling after 2. I hope when all this is over society might be a little kinder and more understanding to those of us living with chronic disease but it won't, everything/everyone will move on a we'll all be forgotten about again.

I don't feel frustrated, but I do wish that more people would realise that there are critically vulnerable people - including young people - who are having a really, really shit time of it and even when not actively advised to shield have still been under some form of precautionary advice.

I have a range if chronic health conditions and stuff I can't do

I'm not sure what you mean by normally living in a lockdown?

I have fallen out of support groups because I found them a bit gleeful that suddenly others were living a restricted life. I don't want others want to have problems.

Unless they have done me wrong in some way!!

I'm sorry to have lost the support groups but they just suddenly turned into wankers who wanted everyone to be unhappy.

I think covid has shown up people for who they really are in some ways.

*of

Yes, you are strong, but that does not make the people who are crumbling after 2 years, weak. It is not a competition or a race to the bottom.

It is frustrating to hear people expect special clinics for long covid, when people living with postviral conditions for years, decades even, are simply written off.

I want everyone to get the medical help they need, but (all other things being equal) one group should not be prioritised over anything.

• another, not anything.

nether absolutely agree, I work part time and have no choice but to go to work despite being CEV, no option to work from home, forgotten about again.

I actually shouldn't have posted, I'm just so full of anger and frustration today, just decades of loss with no one to blame for it.

DaisyNGO I just meant that my condition has put me into a life long lockdown. I couldn't finish my education, I can't socialise, my life is basically work and home.

@DaisyNGO

"I think covid has shown up people for who they really are in some ways."

Yes I really agree with you.

People hit the point where they don't cope at different times, and that's OK

I just wish there was more recognition of how tough it is for those for whom is has been consistent through the whole 20 months of the pandemic. And of course longer, for some.

You do need a different mindset when you know it's long haul, and I dint think that's well recognised.

The only thing that frustrates me is when people seem to think the vulnerable were going to die soon anyway, and that somehow it's ok for them to be shut away. That is most emphatically not true

XenoBitch sorry I didn't mean to suggest that people who are struggling are weak. I do understand why they're finding it difficult, they've had a taste of the life many people with disabilities live and its horrendously tough.

I just wish that we could come out of this with better support for those of us who are disabled. There's so little kindness and understanding out there. It truly is survival of the fittest.

You're not being very kind to other people struggling because of lockdown.

I hear you.

nether yes the cases where people have died 'but they had underlying health conditions', like that makes it ok.

ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind I know, society in general had been unkind to me for 30 years so I am struggling to find it. I used to be a really lovely person but when you give out kindness and get discrimination and judgement back from such a young age it changes you.

@Highlanders372

XenoBitch sorry I didn't mean to suggest that people who are struggling are weak. I do understand why they're finding it difficult, they've had a taste of the life many people with disabilities live and its horrendously tough.

I just wish that we could come out of this with better support for those of us who are disabled. There's so little kindness and understanding out there. It truly is survival of the fittest.

And you have literally just made it worse.

Many times in my life I've been told to toughen up. Including by one boss who couldn't see why an accident that left me on crutches might mean i needed an adjustment to my workload.

It sounds like you have a similar attitude to him.

Bye.

herestoyoucolinrobinson 💐

DaisyNGO bye

It's not a competition - there are plenty of us out there with medical conditions having to crack on and do what we can. It doesn't mean others can't struggle and have a hard time - people like my husband are having to pick up even more of the slack from things I can't do now because of covid.

I've not been on holiday for donkeys years, and it's likely ruled out for a couple more because I can't wear a mask, but I focus on what I can do to help the situation. I changed job to a homeworking position when travel became too much for me, and I am hoping now I'm double-jabbed that I'll be accepted as a vaccinator this time round, after being rejected for being CV last time.

OP it’s ok to voice your frustration. These type of threads always make the OP feel shit. I understand what you are trying to get across. Of course you don’t want others to suffer but it must be upsetting when the collective suffering of the majority is taken so seriously when the minority has suffered so long and fights for support.

Get it off your chest - long term illness or disability is shit.

Totally agree Op. I'm sick of the whinging and whining, and the 'I want my life back'. The constant crying about not being able to go to the theatre without a mask or how it's such a struggle because their Xmas party is cancelled and they just NEED to socialise. I'm living with multiple conditions, every aspect of life is affected.

Where is a lot of peoples resilience, a lot don't realise how damn lucky they are.

@XenoBitch

Yes, you are strong, but that does not make the people who are crumbling after 2 years, weak. It is not a competition or a race to the bottom.

Comments like this annoys me. People who have to live like OP isn't necessarily strong. They have no other choice. The comment is very insensitive, imo.

My child has chronic illnesses, though not as hard as OP's life. But still, he had to go through multiple procedures, meds, restriction in life, etc. Yes he is stronger and more mature than normal child at his age in my view, but it wasn't his choice, and I wish he doesn't need to go through with it. He used to say life isn't fair, but don't say that anymore. Because there's no other choice.

It sounds like you have had a very tough time. Other people have had a tough time over the past few years. Their tough time doesn't make yours easier or harder, and they aren't wrong for finding it difficult, just because someone else has it worse. Maybe people will have more understanding of your struggles in the future.

The general consensus I see on these threads is that everyone who is finding it difficult, no matter the size or length of their difficulties is allowed to feel it. So that absolutely includes you.

RedDingDongMerrily thankyou, its nice that there are people out there who understand especially if you don't have a disability yourself. Most people who are healthy just don't understand it and we need those people out there fighting our corner for us so thankyou.