DH and at odds over cancelling Christmas trips: would you?

[workwoes123]

We live in France, all our families are in Scotland. We haven’t been back to see them since’ Christmas 2019. We managed to see my parents this summer, in France, but DHs mum (Parkinsons, osteoporosis and now dementia) went into a nursing home in summer 2020 - and he hasn’t seen any of them in person through all of this. Our children, who were very close to their grandparents, are growing up so fast. So far, so much the same for many families.

We used our twice cancelled summer flight vouchers to buy tickets for this Christmas . We are going for teo weeks, leaving the day after schools break up. DH and I triple vaccinated, DS 13 double vaccinated. The requirements in terms of testing etc have gone from minor to testing three times - two of them in the U.K. so at the mercy of expensive and unreliable private firms. In Scotland thé govt haven’t done any more than in England yet but they are encouraging people not to socialise, and to do LTF all the time.

DH is a teacher, , I work in a school, we have two boys in school. He’s really worried about getting Covid in Scotland and being stuck there. Where would we isolate? In a hotel? Presumably we can’t isolate with family?

I’d probably do it, he wants to cancel / postpone. At this stage we’d lose a bit of money on AirBNB but not too much. But are things going to be any better in February?

Argh!! WWYD? What are you doing - if you plan to travel over Christmas?

I think I’d go given your vaccination status.

I think you may live to regret not going.

I say this as a person who has fully supported each and every lockdown and restriction put in place.

However, given what you said about your MIL, and the stretch it has put on relations between your kids and their grandparents, I would go.

Is it a financial issue, you can't afford to extend your stay to isolate ?

Get travel insurance which covers this?

Work wise they have to suck it up just like they would if you caught covid in France surely?

It is what it is. I would simply plan for the worst and go ahead.

None of what you're describing is impossible to deal with. It wouldn't stop me.

Have you read the up to date travel information? I dont think you need to isolate if you've had all your vaccinations, coming from France.

Or do you mean isolating when you get back to France?

'In Scotland thé govt haven’t done any more than in England' - I couldn't work out what this meant.

We have had slightly different approaches here in comparison to England. (I work in England but live in Scotland).
We are encouraged to take LFTs before we socialise but we haven't been told not to socialise (big Christmas parties have been discouraged this week, and some people are starting to work from home if they can).
We've never had a break from being encouraged to wear masks if we can.
Those are the main differences I can think of.

I don't think we are discouraging people from arriving from France, currently.

I would make the trip. Especially if your flights are fairly soon.

I'd go it's not going to get any better imo

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-international-travel-quarantine/

Not a red list country at the current time.
So 2 tests overall- one before you arrive and one on day 2.

We're going (tomorrow). I think it will be the last time I see my gran who is very ill, and we already had a big family Christmas planned. I'm probably more relaxed because due to work I've been travelling through the pandemic - plus our flights and tests are covered by work. If we ended up isolating instead of coming back it will be expensive (I guess an airbnb or family) but doable with work.

Honestly I think the restrictions are with us for a while, so just going to front it up. The shift to LFT rather than isolation for contacts makes a big difference as well.

I would go. If it was just a jolly I'd probably postpone but with elderly parents nothing is guaranteed.

I think it will get better in the summer, when traditional flu season is over and people are outside more.
You either refuse to put your life on hold or wait until summer.

@SuperLoudPoppingAction OP was referring to isolation if she or her family get Covid.

On balance, with everything you've said I wouldn't cancel. So long as you can work out a plan for where to isolate if worst case scenario of catching covid occurs. I'm pretty sure that can be anywhere you are staying. Airbnb or family address. We repatriated to Scotland this year but had the same dilemma various times since covid. We always came when we could. If nothing else your DH needs to visit his mum. We had a similar situation with my FIL and I am so grateful DH saw him before he passed away.

Most of my expat friends are going ahead with their UK visits this Xmas. It was one thing to cancel last Xmas but you can't never come back and this isn't going away any time soon.

I don’t think things will be better by February sadly. So I’d continue with the trip personally

I would go.

My sister died last year and I am still angry at all of the time with her I missed because of lockdown.

@SuperLoudPoppingAction

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-international-travel-quarantine/

Not a red list country at the current time.
So 2 tests overall- one before you arrive and one on day 2.

It will be 3 as OP says. 1 in France before leaving. 1 before day 2 here. And 1 before leaving UK to get back into France.

And the 2 tests in UK are the often unreliable, overpriced private companies. For a family it adds a fair whack to the cost of seeing loved ones. And a lot of stress about them not coming back in time or being positive and getting stuck.

DH is a teacher, , I work in a school, we have two boys in school.
Then you’re as exposed to catching it anyway.

He’s really worried about getting Covid in Scotland and being stuck there. Where would we isolate? In a hotel? Presumably we can’t isolate with family?
It’s Scotland not halfway around the world where you don’t speak the language. Cross that bridge if you need to.

I’d do it with absolutely no hesitation at all. I’m surprised your DH is more worried about his job than seeing his family.

I'd travel. I've lost relatives and a close friend I couldn't see due to the restrictions at the time they were dying. My heart still aches. Just be cautious. Take LFTs before seeing people, you can get them free from chemists once here.

I was the same as you in October, hadn't seen family back home since 2019.

Get your tests booked and get on the flight, life is too short, you need to see the family.

I had to travel to the UK last month after 3 years away and hated every second. Not one person seemed to give a shit about others and I was the only person wearing a mask or distancing. Heathrow is a shitshow covid factory. I couldn't wait to get out of there, I felt really vulnerable. If you haven't been back a while you may find it a culture shock after France.

I would go.

It is going to be like this every year, and if you work in schools you have high exposure to all viruses anyway.

Take out some excellent insurance to cover any eventuality and perhaps consider plan B in the worst case scenario air bnb? Or a sealed off part of your family home? Your MIL may not be here next Christmas, she doesn't sound very well, I would take your chance now. It is great fun here in the UK, everything is open you are likely to enjoy it once here. It is very Christmassy and festive.

We are still travelling in a few days. I am quite relaxed about it. The omicron variant seems to be milder than the usual covid strain, and we are vaccinated so as protected as we can be.

Not one person seemed to give a shit about others

That is not my experience at all, we live in a beautiful part of England, and everyone here is friendly. Heathrow has always been a busy frantic place. No different from any other global airport. Sorry your family and friends didn't make your feel more welcome when you had made such an effort draggondragon

Personally I wouldn't. 4 of you working at a/in school. 2 completely unvaccinated. Travelling. To see older family members, doesn't seem like a great idea to me. (My family is overseas so I do get it! Nieces and nephews I could pick up last time are taller then me now! My mums not getting any younger!!)

Also you need to consider whether you'll actually be allowed in to see DH's Mum.

I'm sure this summer will be better, so I'd aim for then, not February.

Best wishes whatever you decide to do 🎄

Sorry fat fingers!! 1 (at least) fully unvaccinated child.

I would go, things could be worse in Feb, you're all as jabbed up as you can be. The expense of the tests is a pain but worth it to see family.

We've just come back from France and the French system for getting tested is so much better than the private ones here, you're right.

However, we got back on Tuesday evening, did our day 2 tests at lunchtime yesterday and got results at 5am to say we're free to leave isolation. We went for our honeymoon and to be honest, it was a little more stressful than either of us would've liked. That said, if I hadn't seen my family for two years, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

If tests for all the family are part of the issue have you had a look at this website.. My DC have been using it for a trip and found it very helpful and its updated. www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/how-to-find-the-cheapest-private-coronavirus-tests-for-travel/

We are in a similar(ish) situation in that we haven't been back to the UK since December 2019 and have been weighing up going this Christmas.

We've decided not to - our youngest is only 3 months old and I worry about taking her from the warm weather here (we are in the Middle East), on a 7 hour flight to cold, COVID-y England. Travelling with the kids is expensive, tiring and stressful at the best of times, so this year we've decided to stay here.

However, given your MIL's circumstances and the fact that your kids are older and the journey is shorter, I would probably go. My lovely granddad passed away a few months ago, when my country was still on the UK's Red List so I was unable to visit him in his last few weeks and I still feel so angry and sad and guilty about it.