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Original poster

Do I invite anti vaxer in laws for Xmas!?

53 replies

GeorgiaS72 · 08/12/2021 08:08

Granted, Boris might cancel Xmas after we've bought everything we need, but we have to plan anyway, as much for the kids and sanity.

My other half is insisting on his anti vaxer mum coming, because she missed out last year. She's 70 plus and really should know better. One of our kids wants her here, the other doesn't want to feel guilty if they unknowingly gave it to and she died.

To top it all, she still thinks everything would have been better if Corbyn was PM or even better his anti vax brother. I'm at my wits end, I can't win as someone will be put out, we've tried for a year now in convincing her to be jabbed, it's a lost cause.

If it wasn't near impossible I'd fly abroad for Xmas!
Thanks for listening, I know there's no clear solution. G

OP posts:
HariboMaroon · 08/12/2021 08:11

I personally wouldn’t care as it’s her decision and it would be her own fault if she died from covid without being vaxxed.

It’s a non issue, invite her.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 08/12/2021 08:12

I wouldn't not invite her on the basis she hasn't been jabbed that's her choice to make but I also wouldn't want to listen to covid conspiracy theories all day either. Invite them round on the strong understanding that covid is not up for discussion on that day, agree to disagree and get back to enjoying Christmas they way you usually do

Billybagpuss · 08/12/2021 08:13

Honestly it’s her choice not to vax, you’ve done everything to keep your family safe, if she is then poorly or worse as a result of her choices it is no one’s fault but her own.

As long as you feel comfortable having an unvaccinated adult in your house for your own families safety, her choices are not your concern.

DillDanding · 08/12/2021 08:13

It’s her choice. I’d assume that she’s aware of the risks of being unvaccinated.

If she’s happy to come, let her.

cookiemonster2468 · 08/12/2021 08:14

I think it comes to a point where you just have to accept someone with all of their irrationalities and sillyness. As you say, you've tried everything to convince her and she is not going to be vaccinated. Are you going to live the rest of your life just not seeing her for that reason?

If you are all vaccinated then you are not at much further risk. I think if there was someone very vulnerable in the house I would think carefully about it in terms of protecting them. But if not, I would just let it go and invite her. This has caused enough division and the risk to you in real terms is extremely minimal.

Lorriestakingppe · 08/12/2021 08:15

I'd make it clear she wasn't welcome unvaccinated tbh. Might focus her mind

Purplewithred · 08/12/2021 08:16

I’m not sure her physical vulnerability is the only reason I wouldn’t want her around, she sounds pretty extrme.

If you’re all happy with the additional risk to you of her coming to you then I’d have her. She’s obviously done her own risk assessment.

passionfruitpizza · 08/12/2021 08:16

She's chosen not be vaccinated so she's obviously happy to take the risk. I'd invite her.

CaliforniaDrumming · 08/12/2021 08:16

I would get the family to take PCRs and then meet her.

cookiemonster2468 · 08/12/2021 08:17

One of our kids wants her here, the other doesn't want to feel guilty if they unknowingly gave it to and she died

If you do invite her then you need to have a conversaton with that child about her being an adult and making her own decisions. It would be nothing to do with your child even if they passed it onto her. You also need to be clear about how unlikely that is.

Harlequin1088 · 08/12/2021 08:17

Oh I'd invite her then whenever she brings up covid, I'd start coughing and spluttering very loudly. Just to see her reaction more than anything...

gamerchick · 08/12/2021 08:18

@Wellbythebloodyhell

I wouldn't not invite her on the basis she hasn't been jabbed that's her choice to make but I also wouldn't want to listen to covid conspiracy theories all day either. Invite them round on the strong understanding that covid is not up for discussion on that day, agree to disagree and get back to enjoying Christmas they way you usually do
This. Talk of it is banned. I have friends who won't have the vaccine, one in her 70s. We agree not to discuss it. It's on their own head now.
Roselilly36 · 08/12/2021 08:20

I wouldn’t dream of excluding a family member, regardless of vaccine status.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 08/12/2021 08:21

Is she an actual anti vaxxer who hasn’t had any of her vaccines (flu vaccine?) and goes on about the vaccine conspiracies? Or does she just not have a covid vaccine?

Lunificent · 08/12/2021 08:21

A Corbynite antivaxxer! I didn’t realise that was a thing, sounds like a contradiction.

Mindymomo · 08/12/2021 08:26

She would be the one at risk, so if she’s happy taking that risk, then have her round. You can only do so much for people, unfortunately.

Hodl · 08/12/2021 08:33

As a pp has said, I wouldn't dream of not inviting anyone based on their vax status.

If you're really worried about passing covid on to your MIL then why not all do LFTs the day before?

Imgonnabewarmthiswinter · 08/12/2021 08:33

I'm glad I have family/friends that don't judge others for their personal choices. As you even said - your household is worried about making her sick, not that she will make you sick and if she gets ill after making her choice then that has nothing to do with you.

Just ban any nonsense talk, I've never had Christmas Dinner and the discussion has been politics or anything else of that nature and I can't imagine it happening either.

churchofthepoisonmind · 08/12/2021 08:36

It sounds like you'd be doing her a favour by not inviting her, actually.

RedWingBoots · 08/12/2021 08:40

@Lunificent

A Corbynite antivaxxer! I didn’t realise that was a thing, sounds like a contradiction.
She supports both Corbyns - Jeremy on everyday politics and Piers on Covid.
greenlynx · 08/12/2021 08:40

Are any of you vulnerable? If not, she’s more at risk from you then you are from her. If she’s ok with this, it’s fine.
I wouldn’t isolate or anything like this before Xmas because she’s coming and I would have a chat with DC that it’s her own choice and actually she might pick up Covid anywhere. Maybe agree about some extra rules for Xmas day to calm your conscience and to calm your DC a bit.

PurpleDaisies · 08/12/2021 08:41

Is this just an excuse? It doesn’t sound like you like her very much. Her views on Corbyn are totally irrelevant.

SivvyPlath · 08/12/2021 08:41

@Harlequin1088

Oh I'd invite her then whenever she brings up covid, I'd start coughing and spluttering very loudly. Just to see her reaction more than anything...
Why would she care?
Jacaranda75 · 08/12/2021 08:42

YABU things would be better under Corbyn.
YANBU I would not invite an unvaccinated anti-vaxxer into my house.

XenoBitch · 08/12/2021 08:43

I would still inviter her. She is your partner's mum for goodness sake. Just make it clear there is to be no Covid/political talk over the dinner table. And that includes vaccine talk.

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