To not wear a mask when with DD?

[AmIOkNotMaskingUp]

My 7yo has a speech disorder as well as dyslexia and developmental co-ordination disorder (DCD) because of this her primary school always have 1 member of staff working with Year 3 unmasked even in communal areas, because otherwise DD gets very frustrated and tearful – masks make it hard for her to hear what’s being said, she also relies a lot on facial expression and watching the way sounds are made with the mouth so she can then replicate that in her own speech but also understand whats being said. I hope that makes sense.

During the lockdowns her speech suffered badly to the point she couldn’t be understood by even me or ExH at times. We’ve managed to get 70-75% of her speech back but when she’s tired or upset or overexcited her speech still gets jumbled, so for example she knows the word cheese is made with sounds by lips out to do “Ch” then a smile for “ee” then a lower neutral mouth for “se” so she knows I’m saying cheese. IYSWIM (if you make those movements with your mouth you’ll get it). S

I have not stopped wearing a mask in the supermarket or medical settings (DD also has a joint condition and asthma and I have a couple of conditions too) but until recently I haven’t taken DD into the shops with me.

I now need to start doing so again, the last two times we’ve been in with me in my mask she’s had a massive meltdown. She’s not the sort to throw herself around but she will get louder and louder say “You don’t listen to me” and then most after that isn’t understandable. If she cannot both see and hear the sounds she doesn’t understand and has a meltdown so we leave the shop (I know she’s not being naughty but I get stressed and she gets more upset not understanding me and it’s not fair to keep shopping)

I took her in to a different smaller shop today and forgot to put my mask on, DD was much calmer and we got everything we needed (plus a few extra treats for DD…) and I felt less stressed.

I want to take her shopping again it’s good for her speech and memory issues (dyslexia and DCD cause these) I’ve told this by her SALT and school but know if I want to avoid the meltdown I need to go maskless. shopping is also good for her joint condition; lifting, reaching, carrying and moving in different positions all strengthens her joints

I am double vaccinated and will be having my booster as soon as I’m offered it. So would you go maskless? I feel bad as it’s not technically my exemption. A clear mask would only help with her seeing my mouth it would not help with her hearing the sounds she needs both to make the connection.

I think that's absolutely a solid case for your exemption.

Sounds sensible, just keep the times you have to take her into a shop as few as possible.

Do what is best for you and her

If you look on the Gov site, a clear exemption is for accompanying someone who relies on lip reading. Something like your situation would absolutely fall into the same category as that.

Sounds to me completely sensible.....

In my job , i wear a mask all day but when ui have someone with a hearing loss i stand back and remove my mask. People with hearing loss are far more isolated with mask wearing. .. I think you need to do whats best for your Dd.

why don't you wear a clear visor?

@ittakes2

why don't you wear a clear visor?

@ittakes2 because it will only help with her seeing the way the mouth works it won't help her to understand as she needs to clearly hear the sounds as well as see them, so it'd just cause the same amount of frustration.

I don't want to be maskless, I prefer and feel better wearing one but at the same time that means I either can't take DD with me (single parent so not always able to avoid it and it's good for her) or let her have her meltdown and try and carry on shopping after one which may or may not be successful.

@ittakes2

why don't you wear a clear visor?

Visors are pointless virtue signalling. I wore one to a hospital appointment and was told to remove it (I was struggling with it anyway) as they don't do anything.

www.amazon.co.uk/Transparent-Plastic-Resistant-Protection-Adjustable/dp/B08HMNZ9XY/ref=asc_df_B08HMNZ9XY/?hvlocphy=9045030&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=463046076855&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-975897782769&hvrand=7019794388549827328

I wear these with lip reading patients.There are lots of approved transparent masks available.

OP you do what is right for you and your DD.

Honestly I’ve been to two supermarkets today and it was a mix of half masked, half not.

I didn’t stop to wonder about the unmasked. I am past that point as are many people. Do what you need to do

Yanbu.
I'm very much pro mask and never took mine off. But situations like yours always cross my mind when I see parents and young children without masks.

@MrsPsmalls

I wear these with lip reading patients.There are lots of approved transparent masks available.

Any aerosol just goes out over the top. A cafe local to me used these then stopped as they don't do anything apart from provide protection from splashes.

Visors are pointless.

I'm a mask obsessive and I'd agree with you. Just try to be mindful of distancing.

I say definitely don’t wear one but don’t go near to people and fully expect people to back away from you . If I’m honest if i didn’t know what’s up I’d keep well away from you as I’ve got fed up of idiots In my local area doing it. I’d also think about getting your dd a sunflower lanyard as that’s what they are meant to be used for people with hidden disabilities such as speech or hearing conditions etc.

Would a mask with a clear window help,

My sons has many of the same issues and we find these don’t muffle sound and the mouth can clearly be seen.

clearfailtemask.ie/product/clear-failte-mask/

If it causes DD STRESS for you to wear a mask then don't

YANBU. It's absolutely in the spirit of the exemption rules for you to go maskless to enable your daughter to access normal community activities like shopping.

In your circumstances I wouldn't, no.
Have you tried the clear masks (not visors) that people who work with the hearing impaired use? (Linked to above) They might help if you absolutely have to wear one when out and about.
The school should also be encouraging members of staff who teach your dd's class to wear the clear ones if the others hamper communication.

Of course you are exempt! What a sad, sad situation that you feel you have to ask.

If it makes you feel better, you could always do yourself a LFT before going to the shops, at least that way you know you're not spreading anything on that day, and you can tell people if they look scared. Everyone's a winner. Not that you should have to tell anyone by the way!

You are exempt if the person you are with needs to lip read. You're covered, don't give it a second thought.

You are exempt.

'people speaking to or providing assistance to someone who relies on lip reading, clear sound or facial expressions to communicate'

Stop fussing and feeling guilty when there's no need.

It is a legitimate exemption.

I can't cope with masks or visors anyway, but when I have autistic DS with me, it's better for him that he can see my full face and have my speech with maximum clarity as I talk to him constantly remind him how to behave in public He can struggle with eye contact and it helps when he can glance off other facial features as a coping strategy.

I'm supportive of parents with young children not wearing them for general speech development anyway. Having gone through speech delays, talking when out and about is a valuable, stimulating experience and broadens the vocabulary range used beyond the home and public spaces. The toll on SALT on young children is just beginning to emerge, and at the milder end of intervention clear build up of incidental chatter is reccommended anyway.

@MrsPsmalls

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Who are they protecting? Completely useless, even more useless than visors (which are not permitted at my hospital, which shows how pointless they are).

And OP, as PPs have said, you are exempt.