Trying to process it

[Itchylegs]

My partner's aunt was in her mid 70s and very fit, very active, still working and leading a full life. She was double vaccinated. She caught Covid and within 3 weeks, after some time in ICU, was dead. Can the same happen with flu? Or is this something very different? Just trying to get my head around it. It is such a shock. Also worried that it may have been grandchild who was the vector. How to live with that?

It's sad about the lady in question, but everyone who has ever died of a contagious disease caught it from someone else. We never worried about "vectors" before or anguished with guilt about whether we were related to the person who was infectious. You simply can't look at your grandchild this way.

Yes the same can happen with flu.
Please do not blame anyone, its a virus, no-one is to blame. And for goodness sake do not voice this train of thought to the grandchild

Covid is more dangerous than flu. However, even fit and healthy people die from flu sometimes - and will do from Covid too. It's very sad, of course. My parents are still being extremely careful because they fear the same thing happening to them.

Is that a serious comment @Worldgonecrazy?

If you’d asked her whether she wanted to never see her grandchild because of the potential to catch covid or accept the risk, what you think your partner’s aunt would have said? Sorry for your loss.

True @PurpleDaisies, but should she have kept socially distanced, met outside, waited for the booster - I just don't know. Thanks for condolences. And I would never voice that thought - hence posting here because I am going round and round in my mind with it and need an outlet but not one in real life.

True @PurpleDaisies, but should she have kept socially distanced, met outside, waited for the booster - I just don't know.

Who wants to spend all their time with their family like that?
We’ve met family of similar age indoors and pretty normally. It’s what they want.

It really isn’t helpful to think like you are. Presumably your partner’s aunt was a competent woman who could have put different conditions on meeting up if she’d wanted that.

@Itchylegs

True *@PurpleDaisies*, but should she have kept socially distanced, met outside, waited for the booster - I just don't know. Thanks for condolences. And I would never voice that thought - hence posting here because I am going round and round in my mind with it and need an outlet but not one in real life.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I think this is grief talking, if it had been a car accident would you say someone should have walked/got the bus?

You say yourself she was fit, active and working, this sounds like tragic bad luck rather than family being 'risky' around an extremely frail and vulnerable relative.

Sorry for your loss.

The hardest thing to accept in these situations is that sometimes these things do happen and not just with Covid. They can and do happen with all viruses and there is no rhyme or reason to it and there are no answers

If she was it, active and still working then it sounds like there was a good chance of her having contact with other people outside her home and the virus could have come from anywhere.

It's really sad and I'm sorry for your family's loss, but honestly unless someone knowingly sent a coughing, covid positive child to visit her then there isn't the teeniest tiniest cause for blame or guilt. Sadness and grief yes, but not guilt. Xx

And yes it can happen with flu, but fortunately we have more built up immunity as a population and individual flu vaccines to help avoid it in most cases.

That’s really sad.

It’s been well publicised that covid is much more likely to cause death than flu.

Unhelpful to speculate about ‘vectors’.

@Itchylegs

True *@PurpleDaisies*, but should she have kept socially distanced, met outside, waited for the booster - I just don't know. Thanks for condolences. And I would never voice that thought - hence posting here because I am going round and round in my mind with it and need an outlet but not one in real life.

I'm so sorry to hear about your family member. My feeling is that she could have done all these things, still got covid and missed out on the joy of the grandchild.

Really sorry for your loss and when someone dies suddenly it’s a real shock.

My mum died very suddenly in her mid 60s, she was also fit, seemingly healthy and active. Not from covid.

It took me about 2 years to even start to process it.

But older people are at more risk of dying than younger people even if they seem fit and healthy.