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Covid

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Original poster

Stupid rules and argument with adult son

24 replies

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 12:16

DS1's GF lives with her parents who have both tested positive.

She is unvaccinated (needle phobia, don't get me started) but 18y2m old, so does not need to isolate unless she develops symptoms or has a positive test. Perfectly correct within the rules.

She has done three LFT tests. Test and Trace have told her she does not need a PCR. I'm not sure that is correct within the written rules but she's the second person I know who's been told that in the same situation.

DS is insisting he must see her today, it could be their last chance for 10 days.

It's his Grandad's 78th birthday tomorrow, we're due to have lunch.

DS's argument is that he's no risk because neither of them have it and he'll do another test in the morning.

I think it is a risk albeit a small one. OTOH GPs aren't staying at home so they face risks every day. They have been careful to avoid crowded places though and have their vaccinations.

I don't think I'm going to be able to persuade him not to see GF, but could insist he doesn't see GPs. But then he's living with me so....

WWYD?

OP posts:

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 12:19

I think it’s only under 18s who don’t have to isolate? So if she’s 18 years + 2 months and not vaccinated as a close contact with a positive case she does have to isolate..? Or have I misunderstood?

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 12:22

Also have you asked the GPs? What’s their view on him coming if he sees his gf?

clockover · 27/10/2021 12:24

@Bizawit

It's 18 years 6 months.

Mindymomo · 27/10/2021 12:28

She’s over 18 and unvaccinated, therefore needs to isolate.

Firstworddinosaur · 27/10/2021 12:28

I'd be cautious but I think even if he did contract covid off her today he wouldn't be infectious tomorrow. It takes a few days for your body to replicate the virus to infectious levels. However, I'm not an expert!

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 12:29

@clockover ah I didn’t realise. Thanks!

In that case OP I would tell the GPs and ask their view - it’s their risk after all. I do think your DS should recognise there is a risk; although I agree that it is small.

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 12:37

@Mindymomo

She’s over 18 and unvaccinated, therefore needs to isolate.

No she doesn't. That's what I said but having checked to "prove it", it's 18y6m

OP posts:

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 12:40

TBF to DS he has followed all the rules since the beginning and continues to do so. He's also still wearing a mask all day for work and in shops etc. He is double vaccinated.

I've just realised I'd already said she could stay here tomorrow night. Which if they're still both testing negative is sensible? Or stupid?

OP posts:

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 12:43

I wouldn’t have her to stay. Even if she is negative on a LFT she could still be harbouring the virus. LFTs don’t tend to turn positive until after symptoms have started.

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 12:44

How sick are her parents? Have they been vaccinated?

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 12:46

@Bizawit

How sick are her parents? Have they been vaccinated?

Just standard cold symptoms afaik. Yes both double vaccinated

OP posts:

Reallybadidea · 27/10/2021 12:51

Even if he catches it from her today he's pretty unlikely to be infectious tomorrow. But I think it's his grandfather's call really about whether he's still happy to see him.

SpindelWhorl · 27/10/2021 12:52

I agree that you need to tell the grandparents all this, and let them decide if they want to see him or not.

I've had situations like this with DP's family, and they all give me the info and I get to decide if I'm seeing them or not, and under what circumstances (e.g. sitting outside, or not visiting that week, etc).

roarfeckingroarr · 27/10/2021 12:54

I wouldn't try to stop him. It's all a bit hysterical.

annlee3817 · 27/10/2021 13:00

If she's staying over tomorrow night anyway, can he go and see the grandparents and then see her after, that way you'll feel at ease with the grandparents but he'll still get to see his GF?

Hope478 · 27/10/2021 13:06

I dont care if the rules are 18 years, 18 years 6 months, or whatever. My house, my rules. I would not let her in the house, purely as I don't want the risk in my house and whilst my kids are under my roof, the rule applies to everyone.

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 13:08

@annlee3817

If she's staying over tomorrow night anyway, can he go and see the grandparents and then see her after, that way you'll feel at ease with the grandparents but he'll still get to see his GF?

Their concern is that if they don't see each other today and she tests positive tomorrow they won't see each other "for ages"

OP posts:

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 13:08

@Hope478

Yes I can do that, but I don't think I control who he sees and I'm not going to ban him from his home.

OP posts:

Shitfuckcommaetc · 27/10/2021 13:13

LFTs don’t tend to turn positive until after symptoms have started

What?
The test used primarily for asymptotic carriers only works when symptoms start? Do you have proof of that? Because that sounds quite a scandal to me.

Hope478 · 27/10/2021 13:28

And then when she tests positive, he will test positive and you will get it and you'll all spread it around, as clearly he isn't taking it seriously because he can't cope for 2 weeks without his girlfriend

People thinking they are above having common decency around isolating is probably why I caught covid when heavily pregnant and ended up in hospital

Unsure why you're asking for advice if you're just going to let your DS do what he wants anyway

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 13:29

@Hope478

People thinking they are above having common decency around isolating is probably why I caught covid when heavily pregnant and ended up in hospital

Unsure why you're asking for advice if you're just going to let your DS do what he wants anyway

Well no. What he's doing is following the guidance to the letter.

I'm not sure how you go about "letting" a 20yo man do anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

MagicWorkout · 27/10/2021 13:30

@Shitfuckcommaetc

LFTs don’t tend to turn positive until after symptoms have started

What?
The test used primarily for asymptotic carriers only works when symptoms start? Do you have proof of that? Because that sounds quite a scandal to me.

You couldn't make it up

OP posts:

BlibBlabBlob · 27/10/2021 13:36

It's not that an LFT won't turn positive until you have symptoms. It just doesn't turn positive until you're infectious. (With or without symptoms.)

Bizawit · 27/10/2021 13:38

@Shitfuckcommaetc

LFTs don’t tend to turn positive until after symptoms have started

What?
The test used primarily for asymptotic carriers only works when symptoms start? Do you have proof of that? Because that sounds quite a scandal to me.

Sorry, I stated that too strongly. But LFTs are much, much more accurate once you have symptoms, yes. They are not particularly accurate if you don’t have symptoms. See this systematic review: www.cochranelibrary.com/cdsr/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD013705.pub2/full The reason they are recommended for asymptomatic cases is that they are cheap and easy and can be done at home . Much less resource intensive than PCRs, so can be rolled out more widely, and they will pick up some cases that wouldn’t otherwise be identified.

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