What happens to children of single mums with no support if get hospitalised by Covid?

[NoviceNewMN]

My friend who is a single mum and lives on her own has just come down with Coronvirus and her two children have tested positive. She doesn't have any relatives and her mum lives abroad.

It got me thinking (for which read worrying) what happens if a single mother with no family or other support and totally absent father gets Covid and gets so bad they have to be hospitalised?

If the children are also positive, no one is going to 'volunteer' to have them in their own family so what happens to the children?

Do they get put into hospital too? Even if social services gets involved, who actually looks after Covid positive children without risking getting it themselves?

Thanks MargotEmin, reading that has made me feel better that I would get help. I have nightmares about it. It's circumstances you don't ever think you will find yourself in. I'm not from this country , I came here when I got married but my husband has since left for another country and we haven't seen him since.

Not everyone has anyone who could or would help, so it is brilliant that we have social services who are able to step in in an emergency. It's a mark of a civilised society, surely.

However - as a single parent myself, there are lots of people I know would take my children in this situation. And there are a huge number of people I'd step in and help, too. The risk is not so extraordinary.

Another mum at school was in similar situation recently. She had to be admitted for a few days and her kids dad was away working, they are not together anyway. Her family don't live nearby. I have three of my own but I was mulling over whether I would regret offering to have them. I wanted to because I wanted to help but I'm on my own mostly anyway as dh works long hours and 6 kids might have been too much. But it got me thinking what the hell do people do! The kids dad got time off from work in the end thankfully.

No idea. We have no friends or family in the area. Unless she went into care for a while, she wouldn't be able to attend school.

Last year there was a mumsnetter in this situation. She and her husband needing hospitalisation due to COVID and both kids positive but not very sick. The children were taken into hospital and put on a COVID ward til their parents were well enough to go home.

These days w vaccines I think it would be easier to find someone to have them but at any rate arrangements can be made.

I worried about this all through the lockdowns but I haven't worried since vaccines. Even when dd got covid it didn't cross my mind I might get that ill. It's so unlikely now. But it was a massive concern for a year . Also now as family are vaccinated they would help - I wouldn't have asked before

Surely most people have family or friends who would step in? It makes me sad to think some people don’t. Otherwise emergency foster care.

This is a huge fear of mine as I am immunosuppressed. Technically I'm not a single parent but if my ex and I had covid at the same time there is nobody. Ex also said I will have to have the kids if he gets covid. Chances are we will both need to be hospitalised.

SS or Childrens Ward until SS could help.

I've known healthy children go the childrens ward. It happened to a friend of mine, they had a car crash she was unconscious so the children were taken to the hospital and stayed on the ward until SS could get emergency foster care.

Its different but we live 100s of miles from family and this summer DS1 was hospitalised at the regional children's hospital (he subsequently died but that's a different story). Both DH and I went to be with him and DS2 went to stay with a friends for two weeks, the friend had to be vetted by SS and got support from them. I think in the circumstances the friend would have taken DS2 even if it was likely he was C19+ if she couldn't take him then SS would have to have found foster parents.

@Makinglists
I am very sorry for your loss.

If the children are also positive, no one is going to 'volunteer' to have them in their own family so what happens to the children?

Lots of people would volunteer. Most people aren't really that worried about catching Covid at this point unless they're vulnerable/ have someone vulnerable in the family, I would say.

I would do this for my friend in a shot.

I would also do it for my neighbours. We don’t have a particularly close relationship but I would happily look after their children in an emergency situation.

Foster carers like myself have continued to take children, including those with Covid throughout the pandemic. Sadly we weren’t prioritised for vaccines - which seemed very unfair. It was very scary at first when so many were dying. About half of children in care live with family- usually grandparents, and we also had to support a lot of existing fostered children whose grandparents died or became very ill.

TheOnlyMrsM - Thank you.

My friend looking after DS2 was one of the kindest and most generous things anyone could do. She cared for him and offered him stability when his life was turned upside down- I can never thank her enough.

I'm glad someone was there for you @Makinglists - you deserved and really needed it

Hospital has a social worker who would refer to childrens services and emergency foster care. It happens all the time and not just to single parents. Parents end up in hospital at the same time or away from a support network etc etc. You never know when something like this could happen to you which is why it's so important these services are not defined as they have been by this government. I seriously believe a good portion of the electorate would vote different if they could see how important services like these are. Sadly tons of people don't know they're essential

Defunded

There’s been one or two unfairly harsh responses to your OP. Don’t take to heart, if more people asked these kind of questions or were even remotely interested the world would be a better place.
I wonder if a parent were totally and quickly incapacitated and so unable to indicate provisions if that child might come under unaccompanied minor type framework, or imagine ward of court might come into play.

This was my worry back in the beginning. I do have an 18 year old and a 26 year old who would look after them though thinking sensibly .

My friend and her son said they'd take them without a second thought though. I'd take any of my friends dc if it came down to it.

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I just messaged my single parent friends just to let them know we would be happy to help in those circumstances.

I would take a friend's children - positive or not.

I had a bit of a plan with a friend early last year, pre vaccines and when covid looked really scary. We both have three children, mine were 11, 13 and 14. We decided least worse option would be for mine to stay home alone and in touch by phone and window visits. I stocked up and frozen ready meals and pizzas just in case. Her children were a bit younger, 7 to 13. We decided I would stay in her house, sleeping in the kitchen, and look after her children as best I could, with the help of the 13 year old, keeping distance and covered in PPE.
We both have husbands, I wouldn't even know were to start if I had nobody.
On a positive point, I think we're in a much better position now, with much more knowledge, vaccines and testing so finding someone, even social services should be a lot easier now than in March 2020. We were afraid the whole system would break down back then.

You'd hope she'd have decent enough friends to take the kids in.

No way on earth would I let social services step in and take my best friend's son, positive or not. He'd be staying with me.

My children would go into foster care. No family, additional needs and friends who arent in a position to help.

As someone earlier said - my normal is other people's difficult. That's why I've been so careful.