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Does anyone still have the anxiety visiting elderly relatives?

5 replies

Kb2942 · 17/10/2021 16:05

My gran is 80. She was widowed not too long before the first lockdown. It was an awful time. We were all around her for a week or two then we couldn't due to lockdown... so had to spend a lot of time on her own after 60 years if marriage. she has been hospitalised with chest infections before a few years ago and has a few health problems but generally pretty healthy.

Obviously I've seen her since my grandpa died and lockdowns quite a few times, mainly outside during the summer or even inside. Covid was always in the back of my mind but with viruses spreading less in summer I felt
okay about it.

But now in autumn heading towards winter, I'm a nervous wreck. I am double jabbed as is Dp. Granny is double jabbed but doesn't want her third dose.

I have two primary age kids. Thankfully there isn't any cases in their school but I still worry.

I don't think I could live with the guilt I'd say we had covid without knowing and give it to her. I would like to visit in half term but I'm stressing already! we can't just sit outside anymore now it's colder (she feels the cold).

She doesn't seem to worried about covid. She was at first but has relaxed. The rest of my family that lives closer go in most days and they are probably more of a risk than us (some are non jabbed, some work in high risk jobs, some go to massive events, teen grandchildren in secondary school and college where there's been quite a few cases etc), she doesn't socialise as such but goes shopping etc. So she could catch it from anyone anywhere but I just couldn't live with the guilt if she caught it and it came from us.

Anyone else feel like this? Am I being ott??

OP posts:
RedRosie · 17/10/2021 16:12

(Just gently) you are being a little OTT. Elderly people - if they choose to - just want to live their lives. My very elderly parents (mid eighties) both feel this way.

My parents live a couple of hundred miles away, so we see them every few months or so. Do an LFT before visiting if that helps you feel better.

But visit, and hug her if that's what she wants. Her life is shorter than yours.

Kb2942 · 17/10/2021 16:16

@RedRosie

(Just gently) you are being a little OTT. Elderly people - if they choose to - just want to live their lives. My very elderly parents (mid eighties) both feel this way.

My parents live a couple of hundred miles away, so we see them every few months or so. Do an LFT before visiting if that helps you feel better.

But visit, and hug her if that's what she wants. Her life is shorter than yours.

Thank you! I don't really need to be told I'm being ott cos I know I am - most days 😅 I'm not much of a hugger anyway - she knows that! But I just like to sit with her for a couple hours and chat with her! 💕 kids love seeing her too!
OP posts:
Verbena87 · 17/10/2021 16:18

I’d say it’s her choice, let her decide. We’re not visiting my grandparents at the moment but we’re both teachers in ‘outbreak’ schools so unusually high risk. It’s a mutual decision as we’re all adults.

Verbena87 · 17/10/2021 16:19

Sorry meant to add with other vulnerable family members we’re continuing to meet up as they understand the risk but still want to see us.

So I’d discuss it with her and go from there.

Parker231 · 17/10/2021 16:20

Just do a LFT before you go around to see her - for your piece of mind as much as anything else

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