Dilemma about telling ex I have covid

[SilentPanic]

I think I know the answer, but I thought I'd ask. Please be kind, I feel shit.

I was with my ex for a few years. OK relationship, got on very very well with his parents. Found out a few days before lockdown 1 that he was sleeping with my best mate, and had been throughout our relationship. Was also sleeping with others. Things trudged on for a bit, but that whole thing created an unhealthy and ultimately abusive dynamic. I ended it, and because it was messy, I told his family that I loved them but that I wouldn't be in touch, because it would put them in an awkward position. He has tried a few times to open up lines of communication, and I have been polite but kept contact formal and short. His sister said horrible things about me, and I kind of get it- it's easier to hate me than to accept the truly awful things her brother has done.

I was in the shop on Wednesday when I saw his father for the first time since all this happened. We had a quick hug and a chat. It was lovely to see him. We were both wearing masks, and I'd sanitised my hands on entry into the shop. I'd also had a negative LFT that morning.

I just tested positive.

So, do I text my ex to tell him? I could text his father but am not sure if that would put him in an awkward position. Or should I wait until test and trace get in touch with me and let them do it? (Would they tell him who the contact was, or would he not know it was me?)

Text his father.

If you're sure T&T will contact him, I'd leave it to them. You both had masks on, so would really unlucky if it was passed on. I work in a school, although, I've worn a visor I've had contact with three who've tested positive within 48 hours and not caught Covid, I've done an antibody test, so sure if that. None of my colleagues wore a mask.

Test and trace won't say who the contact was, if you wanted to go down that route to avoid awkwardness. It sounds like his risk would be minimal, given the precautions and negative test that you mention.

let test and trace do it. They wont say anything more than he has been identified as a contact.

Thanks all. Feel all the anxieties of that relationship flooding back when I think of all this!

Just give his name to T&T when they call you, they won’t tell him who the contact was.

dont use this as an excuse for contact, come on...

dont use this as an excuse for contact, come on... I 100% know what you mean with this, but it's really not the case- although it would have been an excuse for contact a year ago. I feel properly anxious and horrible just thinking about being in their sphere at all. It's made me realise that I lived for a long while with that anxiety, and how the fuck did I ever survive being in that mindspace.

im really glad you're in that headspace... i think that might be your residual feelings of responsibility to him and his family.

You don't need to take it on - track and trace will do for you. hope you get well quickly

Thank you needtoknow , I will. You're so right in what you're saying about responsibility. I'm glad you posted because I was for so long in that horrible dynamic of finding excuses to text him, feeding off the drama of the whole situation, almost enjoying the pain. And now it's just pain, I don't want it, I don't want to engage with them at all.