People's behaviour in London

[catandcandle]

NC for this, because I probably sound like a bit of a loon. We left London as the lockdown 2020 started and have been living in deep rural bliss in an EU country ever since. Here we still have social distancing, madatory masks indoors everywhere, sanitisers at every entrance. I have spent a lot of the pandemic not going anywhere much, I WFH and it has been possible to pretty much isolate throughout. I did get on a holiday to another European country in the summer (after being double vaccinated) but it was country with low rates, I wore an FFP3 on the plane, and because it was a hot country I spent nearly the whole time outdoors and only went to eat at outdoor places etc.

We decided (after DS aged 12 has now been double vaccinated), to come on a trip back to London (DH for various reasons including fetching things he had to leave behind, me and DS just to see London again and see some friends). DH has gone today, DS and I plan to join him on Friday, for the weekend.

DH has just arrived in London and he called me telling me I am going to freak out, there are people in the shops without masks, no sanitiser at the doors, and when he asked someone to please social distance in a shop they mocked him. He is right, this will be very difficult, I have not encountered these things through the whole pandemic!

I am not asking AIBU, I very possibly am, but this is how I feel, and I hve been managing the pandemic this way because I could. I still want to go to London, and I realise I can take my own sanitiser and keep myself away from people. There is no way I am going to go indoors or on public transport without a medical-grade (FFP3) mask. The rates are just too high for me.

So, I just wanted to ask, are there still people who are going to be as cautious as me there? Will I be stared at and mocked because I (and DS) are wearing masks, shy away from contact and sanitise our hands? I don't suppose I should really care what people think of me, but I would just like to be prepared. I feel incredibly nervous about this trip now.

@madisonbridges thanks for that. I don't imagine I am going to go maskless in London this time, that would be too much of a leap for me! But unless things go seriously tits up again Covid-wise I am going to have to start to plan (one on one, with vaccinated people only) unmasked meetings in England some time in the next few months. So there is that to aim for.

The way to stop exasperated tutting in London is to get an Oyster card and not faff about with it at the ticket barriers. The number of tourists who get to the front of the queue at tube and railway barriers then dig Into to their handbags or pockets to find their cards brings out the worst in Londoners. Tutting and sighing and rolled eyes are about as far as it goes but given how stressed everyone is there might well be comments. If you are not confident in crowds wait until everyone else is out of the way, get out the card and then go for it. Good luck!

I hope Ireland lightens up quickly; when I went in August it was depressingly like June 2020 including the padlocked playground at the zoo. It was a lot of effort and money to end up sitting around being cold and wet catching up with paranoid relatives for the first time in nearly 2 years.

It's liberating getting back to something closely resembling normality and a far healthier way to live. People in the UK had relaxed over the week we were away and gosh it felt good to be back to somewhere normal.

Some people still wear masks. Just don't block up the middle of doorways if you sanitise.

@LastStarfighter thank you, that sounds hopeful. The only destinations I am going to apart from 2 friends' houses in north London, will be outdoors (Regents Park and Zoo). I have not decided yet whether I will brave the tube (with FFP3). Maybe will take a taxi. But DS wants to go on the tube (he misses that a lot too!).

@mostlydrinkstea I am a Londoner, I know that scenario well! I would not dream of doing that, don't worry!

Aren't the infection levels highest in schools at the moment? If you're son is going to school it's a bit silly to boss strangers about to ask them to social distance. You're far more likely to catch covid from him than from a brief encounter in a shop.

@BogRollBOGOF that must have been in Dublin, it really has not been that depressing in my (very rural) area. The playground in the village has been open since last year.

@catandcandle

It may be "drama", and not even that logical, but it is one of the ways I have kept sane during the last eighteen months! I am one of those people who quarantined their post, sanitised their shopping and stripped their DC to their underwear when they came home from school until fairly recently, whether it was logical or not, it was easy to do and it made me feel more in control of at least something.

Seeing people indoors without a mask is not something I have seen personally for eighteen months (very small and compliant population where I Iive) so it is going to feel strange, even if my feelings on that are not logical either.

I think you need therapy for you anxiety, not finding need ways to pander to it.

@catandcandle I don’t think you are being silly.

Covid is still here and sadly people are still passing away-

Ignore mumsnetters who are telling you otherwise- these are probably the same ones who were frothing at the mouths a few months back when someone questioned the vaccine.

Now that topics died down a lot have moved on to - “ I’m so done with Covid how dare you be careful?”

Remember if you get ill - it’s you s AZ be your family who has to deal with the outcome- not mumsnet or any other social media posters. Do what is right for you and your family.

My mum had a very mild case of Covid a month back but now she is always tired, suffers with sinus issues and headaches- she was double jabbed

My dad got it at the same time- he passed away

My sister who lives with them didn’t get it

It’s potluck at times - so you are right in being careful-

Plan the journey- plan your precautionary measures in advance. Maybe try and avoid rush hour etc.

@Mazblue86 I was awfully worried about school, but since DS had his second vaccine not as worried (and he is in a class of just 5 children, and the teachers are all masked).

It was quite normal here in the earlier part of the pandemic to ask people to "give us a metre there?", and people then just did. Now people all social distance instinctively (agan, this is in a rural village, I have no idea what Dublin is like, I have never been there).

Ignore mumsnetters who are telling you otherwise- these are probably the same ones who were frothing at the mouths a few months back when someone questioned the vaccine.

That phrase is so over done and 🙄. And I don’t get why the two are connected.

@Confused10101 thank you for that post and so sorry about your dad. I worry about my elderly parents constantly, they are double vaccinated and are in a country where the lockdown continues (still masks, a curfew etc). But they need me to stay alive and working too.

and I won't be anywhere near rush hour! I will be in my friends' houses apart from a few hours in Regents Park on Saturday afternoon.

[quote catandcandle]@LastStarfighter thank you, that sounds hopeful. The only destinations I am going to apart from 2 friends' houses in north London, will be outdoors (Regents Park and Zoo). I have not decided yet whether I will brave the tube (with FFP3). Maybe will take a taxi. But DS wants to go on the tube (he misses that a lot too!).[/quote]
I honestly think you’ll be fine . Choose slightly quieter times, get taxis (the cab is partitioned anyway), and if you go on the tube just for fun, go at 11am on a quiet line.

Be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much and you’ll do grand.

Op I find mumsnet generally errs towards being anti mask and anti lockdown you will get biased responses. I am very cautious and wear my mask everywhere.

In London most people wear masks on the tube I estimate 80%. On the bus around 70%. In shops 60%. Hand sanitiser is no longer out in public areas. Social distancing is still practiced, except on the tube at busy times where it is not possible.

I have traveled to a few different cities outside of London and found no masks, social distancing or sanitiser. Except in Scotland, where majority wear masks and social distance.

Hello Op, I live I a tiny village in rural England not far from the Welsh border. It is very different from London. My husband and I went to London last week for a 2 day trip and for a day trip yesterday. The train to London was much quieter than pre covid and Paddington Station was much quieter too. There were enough people in London to give it a lovely buzz but it really was much less busy than we remembered it from our last trip at the end of 2019. You can wear a mask if you want to or not if you start to relax a little. Nobody will look at you ; they are busy living their own lives. Plenty of older people are wearing masks . Other people are wearing them if they feel vulnerable. The thing I have always loved about London is that the MN oft used phrase ' you do you ' sums the city up. You can dress as you please and express yourself in a way you could never do in a tiny village. There is sanitiser at the entrance to every shop ,gallery, cafe and we always use it because it has become a total habit now. Like picking up a sweet wrapper you drop ,sanitising my hands is just what I do. Not out of fear but because the zingy clean is nice.We used the river boat and travelled down to Greenwich. There were at most 20 people on. In the queue nobody invaded anyone else's space and ,whilst they weren't 2 metres apart ,there were so few people waiting that if you were nervous you could stand apart until boarding started. Wecwore masks at the Royal Academy because everyone was asked to. Was too busy looking at the art works to bother about what anyone else was doing. Our 2 day trip was a week ago. No colds, no illness of any kind brought home. If a shop looks too busy for you then you can choose not to enter. Nothing was crowded. You have to wear masks on public transport. London was brilliant and beautiful and it was totally uplifting to sit on a bench with an ice cream and people watch. Give it a go Op ;as with many things in life , the thought of something is often much scarier than the reality. Enjoy a lovely trip xx

I agree that your response to this pandemic is way OTT. Despite what you think, only a tiny percentage of people were quarantining post, sanitising groceries and stripping their kids down to their pants before shoving their clothes on a boil wash. That alone puts you at the very extreme end of the cautious spectrum.

Then despite the low rates, masks, vaccines whatever, you're paranoid about sanitising, and washing, and distancing, and being outside.

How much better do you think it needs to get? You have 2 jabs .Most other people have 2 jabs. Covid is not going away. Are you still going to be 10 years down the line, hunkering down in the wilds of Ireland, terrified of the tube? It's no way to live. Agree you need help with your anxiety.

I think you should cancel your tickets and stay locked away, while the rest of us our getting on with and enjoying life.

Well it's all a bit dramatic isn't it? A lot of people are still wearing masks on public transport and in shops. Way more do in London than in Manchester when I visited.

I think in the UK we are learning to live with Covid like the flu. If you're going to freak out best not to come. It's rather nice not being inundated by tourists.

@catandcandle

and I won't be anywhere near rush hour! I will be in my friends' houses apart from a few hours in Regents Park on Saturday afternoon.

And what about your friends regular or recent activities out the home? Have they led the same secluded life you have? Or are they in the midst of the hustle and bustle of what is city life, and therefore potential carriers of covid to yourself when you visit their homes?

Why are you so obsessed with sanitising? This is an airborne virus.

No one benefits from obsessive sanitising apart from the companies making the sanitiser.

@AngelinaFibres that is lovely and most reassuring! I hope our trip is like that too.

@KingsleyShacklebolt I would not dispute I am on the anxious end of the spectrum. But the point is that it was easy to do all those things. If I had had to continue going to my job at the hospital, live in London, travel on public transport etc, then I would have just had to buckle up and get on with it, and I would have. My anxiety is not pathological enough for me to have allowed it to disturb my life and livelihood.

The thing is it just so happened that on 21 March 2020 I retired from my NHS job and moved to a rural village in Ireland, where I had bought a house (all planned pre-pandemic and so nothing to do with Covid). So it happened that I could avoid London/crowds/trains etc etc without it having any immediate impact on my life. And the post was not important enough to need to be opened immediately, and the antiviral spray for the groceries was readily available, and the child was going to change into after-school clothes anyway, just maybe with a bit more of a dawdle. So yes, it was over the top given what we know now (you should have seen us directing the removal men to put all the furniture in the garage to quarantine for five days, while we were hanging out of the first floor windows of the house!). The point is that apart from a few shrunken school jumpers, there was no real cost to these actions, which we thought at the time may just be beneficial. It was not pathological.

The concerns I have about London now are not pathologocal either. They are either because I am well aware that after 18 months of living in one of the harshest and longest lockdowns in Europe I am going to find London of today strange just because it is not what I am now used to, but also because I think it is in fact functional to continue to be at least a bit cautious, given my specific life situation. Believe me, if I was in my 20s and had no-one depending on me for survival (as is the case for my 2 daughters) I would feel, and behave, very differently (as they do).

|t is time to move on if you are not ready stay where you are.

I have always been a bit of a sanitiser. I was one of the few people I know who had sanitiser and alcohol wipes in stock when the pandemic hit! So yes, a bit anxious normally, I agree. Not so much that it disrupted mine or anyone else's life! I didn't go around with chapped hands etc (still dont).

@catandcandle

It may be "drama", and not even that logical, but it is one of the ways I have kept sane during the last eighteen months! I am one of those people who quarantined their post, sanitised their shopping and stripped their DC to their underwear when they came home from school until fairly recently, whether it was logical or not, it was easy to do and it made me feel more in control of at least something.

Seeing people indoors without a mask is not something I have seen personally for eighteen months (very small and compliant population where I Iive) so it is going to feel strange, even if my feelings on that are not logical either.

Hmmm, best be prepared as it feels like life has more or less gone back to normal in London. I have seen masks in supermarkets and that’s about it…