Are you carrying on as normal with unvaccinated family members?

[postingfortraffichere]

My 66 year old mother refuses to be vaccinated. I don't agree with it and have tried to encourage her but she's having none of it.

The issue is, how long do we shield from her? Life must go on, but I also love her dearly and despite her making such a stupid decision she is my mother and if anything happens to her that is going to change the fact.

So what are people doing with stubborn unvaccinated family members?

Are you keeping distance from them or just taking it that life must go on and not trying to keep distance from them?

I literally have hardly seen her for months. I don't know what to do.

We are also due to have a large family gathering soon and I'm worried for her attending.

My DP isn't vaccinated nor is my BIL. Closest friends one vaccinated one not. Their choice entirely and yes we all mix. BIL and wife just both had covid, she was bedridden (vaccinated) he was fine. Friend vaccinated had covid lost taste only no other effects, her partner not vaccinated didn't get it. Lifes too short to worry about another adults life choice imo

Couldn’t give it a thought, no business of mine which family members are vaccinated or not same with friends and colleagues. I don’t ask.

I appreciate it's not my business but when it's my mother it's a bit different a random friend! We do discuss our vaccination status openly.

Also, I wouldn't feel this was with most others but given it being my mother I can't help but feel overly concerned about her

Unless she has significant underlying comorbidities at 66 she’s not at particular risk. I’d move on, life is wayyy to short to avoid your mother. Plus it’s her choice what risks she takes with her own health; you are not responsible for making those decisions for her.

There'd be no point trying to shield my unvaccinated relative from us. They're out living life. If your mum is happy to take the risk of mixing with you, then I'd try not to give it too much thought.

Yes, of course - or should I divorce him?

I'm not avoiding anyone regardless of whether I know if they've had the jab

It's their choice, if they are happy to see you then go ahead. You aren't responsible for other's decisions.

You’ve hardly seen your own mother for months? Sounds a lot like stubborn stupidity to me.

You mean like all the small children in my house, and in my wider family…?
Sorry I am being facetious.
I am CEV but I work with children so I’m fairly accustomed to accepting the risks. I have several CEV relatives but only one who is vocally anti-vax (for all vaccines not just covid) and some will meet her and others won’t. I have no idea of the vaccination statuses or views of most relatives

Yes, just carrying on as normal otherwise I'd never see my neices and nephews. Been seeing my CEV mum as normal since the end of the first lockdown in June 2020, long before vaccines were available. Her choice, she doesn't want to spend her old age separated from her family and grandchildren. We do all test regularly.

I totally understand your worry, but it sounds like you've protected her as much as you can by having the vaccine yourself and at the end of the day it's her decision. At 66 she's higher risk than some but not hugely high risk and social contact, especially with family is important.

My DSis & family are unvaccinated and we hang out. She is slightly higher risk due to a quite debilitating autoimmune condition but she needs social contact way more than she needs protection from viral infections IMO.

I've only got one group of family who are eligible for vaccination but have refused it. They live a long way from us anyway so we don't see them more than once every couple of years normally. So I haven't seen them, but that would be pretty normal anyway.

I'm still being very careful about seeing my parents though, even though they've both been fully vaccinated. They're in ill health and between myself and DD we've got 2 secondary schools worth of infection potential. We saw them at the end of August and will see them again at the end of October half term, although now I've had covid I could probably see them more often again if they/we want to.

Just get on with life and get back to normal. What are you going to do if she never has the vaccine. Never see her again.

I don't agree with people refusing to have the vaccine without good medical reasons, but it is entirely their choice. I'm going back to normal now whatever they do.

Is your mother staying at home or is she going out and mixing freely with others?

It sounds like your are more worried about the risk to her than you are to yourself. Which is fair enough and completely understandable.

However, if she is unvaccinated and has chosen to make the most of her ‘freedom’ then there is very little you can do really.

You staying away from her isn’t going to add ‘that’ much to her risk.

It would be different if she was still mostly staying at home.

Yes apologies if I didn't make the original post clear in that this isn't about me at all. I don't care about the risk to myself - I've been vaccinated and had Covid so feel fully protected. I'm not one of those that don't want to mix with unvaccinated out of fear of them passing Covid to me, this is purely about my mother and her safety and me wanting to make every effort to keep her safe that's all.

I would feel sick losing her to Covid because she didn't take the vaccine and I'm just trying to protect her as much as possible.

I know she's an adult free to make her own choices but doesn't change the fact she's my mother and I could lose her prematurely because of a stupid decisions she made.

@SpringRainbow she has started mixing more and more recently

[quote postingfortraffichere]@SpringRainbow she has started mixing more and more recently [/quote]
I know and completely understand why you would want to keep her safe, she is your mum. We all want to protect our loved ones as much as possible.

However, if she is out mixing then she is already putting herself at risk.

I don’t understand or even agree with her choice, but I respect that it is HER decision to make.