Would you travel abroad to visit elderly relatives?

[Whathefisgoingon]

My dad is 77 and lives abroad in an “amber” country. I’ve got a 19 month old who he hasn’t seen since June 2020.

DP and myself are vaccinated as is my father, but I am terrified of picking covid up on the way over and taking it to my dad.

We are thinking of early October - things aren’t going to get any better so I thought it best to go before the kids are off school and everyone starts travelling around for Christmas.

Is anyone else facing a situation like this? I think our best bet is to stay away from him for 3-4 days and do PCR’s on the 4th day before going to his, but obviously it’s not ideal...

Yes, I'd go. I couldn't travel from where I live to the UK last year to see my mum before she passed away. I didn't have a choice.
You could test before going etc to feel more secure.

We are in two weeks. Sod’s law it’s just before the rules change but we are going for a quick weekend in France mainly to make sure MiL is set up for winter (she is rural) and to get a chance to see her while we can.

I'd let your dad decide

No, I wouldn't go.

If your Dad is happy for you to go then yes, I would. Id rather go than look back and wish I had.

I would go. Everyone apart from your toddler is vaccinated. This is as good as it's going to get for the foreseeable and there is no point in waiting.

I really regret not going because I waited to be vaccinated and my dad died before I did. So take the chance while you can.

Yes, we went to visit our elderly relatives in Spain in august. It was lovely, they were so pleased to see us for the first time in 20 months and would have been gutted if we had decided not to go.

Thanks all.

My dad is saying no because he is worried about our risk and says he would find it very upsetting knowing we were in the same country but not able to meet for those first few days.

He wants to “think about it.”

Honestly, if he tells me he doesn’t feel he wants to take the risk for his own health and safety I won’t go, but I’m concerned he’s saying no because he’s worried about us and realistically as scared as I am, we will all be ok.

I would go. I just flew long-haul to go see a dying relative. I’m fully vaxxed, was visiting in hospital every day and flew through 3 different airports there and back to do the whole trip and neither I nor my family actually got ill. It was worth the risk to me to say goodbye.

Went to see DM last month in Spain after not seeing her since November 2019. She was very keen for me to come.

Very glad I went. She had been getting very depressed and the visit cheered her up massively. Not seeing family for so long had started to sap her spirit and once that happens with someone elderly it can put them on a rapid downward spiral which can be just as dangerous as COVID.

I’d go. I’ve definitely been on the more cautious side of things through COVID, but I know two friends who have had parents die in the past year and they hadn’t been able to visit them for ages due to restrictions.
We don’t know what the winter will bring so I’d say go while you have the opportunity.

I’ve done it. For parents in law who are older (80 and 84). We’ve taken all the possible tests AND we have self isolated voluntarily for 7 days upon arrival- mostly because MIL has finished cancer treatment not too long ago, and FIL was still refusing vaccine at the time. It was doable because it was over the summer holidays and we had a place to stay nonetheless etc etc. Definitely: it was worth it. MIL was depressed and unmotivated to keep a minimum of physical activity. Having the kids did her a whole lot of good.
Tempus fugit…

I am hoping to visit my 79 yr old parents in 3 months. They live very far away.

Between them both, they had open-heart surgery & neck surgery 2x in last 18m. They aren't getting any younger. We last met in person 2 yrs ago.

I won't go if it means isolation. I can't face LFTs (we'd have to bring our own) or PCR tests (cost $100 each?)

The parents are taking lots of plane journeys, have been eating out in restaurants. They don't know what an LFT is. They are terrified of covjd but sounded very happy we might be visiting & haven't told us any rules (yet?). I think they have the idea that because we are family we are somehow less likely to infect them than strangers they got physically close to. They also think rest of family aren't socialising much (I can see on Facebook that that's false, 15 people in rest of family all just went on holiday together!).

Anyway, If we visit, it's because the oldies want us to visit.

I'd go. Lost my mum in May. Decided to travel for the first time ( due to covid) the month before. So grateful I did, and only wish I had done it earlier. I can't get back the time I lost with her, but I'm so glad I got some time. Do it.

(Oh and in the meantime we persuaded FIL to take his shot. Impossible to talk to him via phone or internet, but in person we did manage. Mission accomplished!)

V fragile parents in in early 80s living abroad. I went out twice last summer for big life stuff, quarantining each time I returned, and going out again next month. They both had covid last year from DFs carer, and both vaccinated now.

The reality is you might transmit covid, your dad might catch it locally, he or might not have already had it, you can't know. There's no way to even start weighing up the unknowable odds - the only thing you can choose is whether you want to make seeing him happen.

*...make seeing him happen despite that. Only you and he can decide, really, its very personal.

Yes I would go and have because there is no way I will stop seeing my parents, IN PARTICULAR because they are elderly and I’m acutely aware I might not have that opportunity for many more years.

Where are you going where you might need to quarantine or self isolate having had the two jabs?

@TintinIsBack I don’t have to, I just want to quarantine away from my dad to try and reduce the risk of transmission if we pick covid up whilst travelling to him.

I haven't seen my parents since before the first lockdown, for the same reasons

I broached the subject of maybe travelling to them for October half term and they weren't keen, they want to wait a bit longer.

They're in France and now that proof of vaccination is needed over there for pretty much everything, they have started going out a little bit more.
But they can see that there is little effort in England to control the virus anymore, and they're worried that I will bring it to them.

I can't blame them really!

[quote Whathefisgoingon]@TintinIsBack I don’t have to, I just want to quarantine away from my dad to try and reduce the risk of transmission if we pick covid up whilst travelling to him.[/quote]
Fair enough.