Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Has anyone given up on clubs and groups?

118 replies

DevonBelles · 12/09/2021 15:10

Just wondering...

I belonged to a reading group and a language group. Both involve sitting around a table in close contact with up to 10 people, one in a pub, the other in a booked room.

Since CV we went online but as from this month we are meeting up.

I feel quite unsure of whether to go back.

Age-wise I'm over 60 and DP has some health issues so some of my concern is for him .

I am going about normal day to day things, but am worried about sitting so close to a group of other people (am fine meeting friends 1:1) who may be infected but asymptomatic and many of them have teens at home.

Comments?

OP posts:

Zig27 · 13/09/2021 19:21

I was a member of a few social groups before covid. I started going back 6 weeks ago and have found about only half of the people have come back. People are still cautious or feel they no longer need the groups.

lannistunut · 13/09/2021 19:31

[quote Faffinator]@DevonBelles avoiding group settings is not really living normally and clearly case numbers and the vulnerability of your DH might not substantially change over the coming months. You can do whatever you want to, but you cannot expect others to justify it as logical or rational.[/quote]
I think it is rational to adjust from indoors to more outdoors etc if someone has a vulnerability in the family.

It doesn't mean everyone has to do the same, but it is not a peculiar thing to do.

Hairbrush123 · 13/09/2021 19:41

I see where you’re coming from OP. I’m only 25 and have been fully vaccinated since July. While I know it’s very unlikely I’ll be seriously sick if I were to be infected with covid - I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks and catch it anyway. I walked past a group meeting indoors today and felt uneasy seeing people so close in such a small space! It’s so sad as it shouldn’t be like this but I would personally avoid it. Is there not a way it could be outdoors?

Jessicabrassica · 13/09/2021 22:06

How likely are other members to do an lft before attending? It may be generational or environmental ( NHS worker, dh & kids at 3 different schools) but I wouldn't meet up indoors - or go to a festival outdoors- without doing an lft. Currently doing them daily because a friend has covid.

Kokeshi123 · 14/09/2021 01:28

What about asking other members if they'd be OK with a live stream via Zoom etc. link from their phone?

GrandmaSteglitszch · 14/09/2021 07:54

It amazes me how many people fuss about hand sanitising but hate the idea of windows being open.
One group currently on zoom but considering face to face looked horrified when I mentioned that our usual room has several windows which open.
Obviously it'd be cold but that's just too bad, in my view.
I won't be sitting with others in an unventilated room.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 14/09/2021 08:06

yes I'm bemused by this idea that it's our patriotic duty to get infected.

I suppose that the people saying this expect that they won't be the ones who are infected.

rookiemere · 14/09/2021 08:19

@GrandmaSteglitszch also it's different for me in my 50s than it is for my DPs in their 80s.

A dear friend has caught Covid and passed away at the weekend- granted she was 92 and had underlying health conditions- but it's not inspiring my naturally anxious DM to let DF with diabetes out the door.

I do hope numbers go down. I don't think that's an unrealistic hope and my DPs venture out when they are lower even if it's only temporary.

They are unable to manage zoom calls so currently talking on the phone and seeing me is the only social life they have.

Madhairday · 14/09/2021 09:01

OP I do understand, and I also understand all the posts saying it's here to stay, so do we want to stay away from these things forever. I'm really struggling at the moment with this. I'm CEV with a poor immune system, often hospitalised with my illness so I don't want to catch covid (or anything else that would land me in hospital where I'm actually probably quite likely to catch covid). My book group is about 12 of us squashed into a small living room and I didn't go the other night, I just felt really anxious so couldn't. I'm also cancelling a gig I'd booked at the 02 back in early 2020 that was delayed from last year, I just can't see that I'd enjoy it with worry, but I am gutted.

It's easy for people to say just live your life, but when you have a threat hanging over you - ie CEV or living with someone CEV - it's not that easy. I have started going back to church but everyone wears masks and mainly social distances and that feels ok.

I don't want to not do these things forever, but for now while cases are high and people are still being vaccinated I think I need to be cautious. My consultant told me to be very careful and try to meet people outside but that's obviously not possible in the winter.

I don't really have any answers. If I wasn't CEV I'd be out there without a problem, but it's not that simple for me and you.

I get it

Faffinator · 14/09/2021 10:12

@GrandmaSteglitszch

yes I'm bemused by this idea that it's our patriotic duty to get infected.

I suppose that the people saying this expect that they won't be the ones who are infected.

I suspect that in many cases these are people who have already been infected, like myself.

SMBH · 14/09/2021 10:16

“ I suppose that the people saying this expect that they won't be the ones who are infected.”

I’ve not said anything about patriotic duty, but this is a really silly assumption. I am CEV and with small children at nursery, a teacher husband, and a job where I cannot socially distance or wear masks in a number of circumstances, I’ve just got used to the idea that I am likely to get covid, and my risks of suffering more than someone who isn’t CEV are higher. I hope it won’t be the case, obviously. I know that other people in my situation have made different choices, but we have chosen to keep things as “normal” as possible for my small children, especially as I have PND as a result of restrictions, so as a family we feel that living a very restricted life is more of a risk to our wellbeing than covid, even with clinical vulnerability. So the assumption of “you wouldn’t feel like this if you are CEV” is frustrating and wrong. I can understand why others make different choices, so presumably they can understand why I might?

Faffinator · 14/09/2021 10:18

@Madhairday I genuinely do sympathise if you are CV or have to think about vulnerable family members. I can also see why you might be tempted to wait a while longer and hope that the picture improves.

However, I think that people who are continuallly waiting for some unspecified point in the future when they 'feel safe', are rationalising their own health anxiety and postponing any need to confront it, or deal with it. And they might wait too long and then actually never feel able to go back to doing the things they did before.

Warhertisuff · 14/09/2021 10:19

@GrandmaSteglitszch

yes I'm bemused by this idea that it's our patriotic duty to get infected.

I suppose that the people saying this expect that they won't be the ones who are infected.

No... it's hardly a patriotic duty but more that's it's futile for large numbers to wait as it just puts back the day you'll get it....

I haven't, to the best of my knowledge, had Covid, and I fully expect to get it over the next few years, in the same way we'll all have been exposed to all the other milder coronaviruses out there.

musicalfrog · 14/09/2021 10:33

@Kokeshi123

What about asking other members if they'd be OK with a live stream via Zoom etc. link from their phone?

Oh yawn, been doing that for nearly two years! I would not go for that.

99victoria · 14/09/2021 12:09

Personally I think it's all a bit of a lottery. I am 60 but not vulnerable and I have really gone back to normal in my life. I work part-time in a school and have been in a hall with 200 teenagers for hours at a time, I have been to a festival, I have been to the theatre and I have gone back to my music group who I sing and jam with. I consider all these activities to be pretty high risk but so far neither I or any of my family have had covid.
I will probably end up contracting it walking past someone in a restaurant or shop or something. I understand I will probably get it at some point but I am choosing to live my life as normal

GreatAndWonderous · 14/09/2021 16:27

OP, sincerely I think we all have to choose this for ourselves based on our own circumstances and on the level of risk that we feel comfortable with. This is different for everyone and you should not feel you have to justify it to anyone. It sounds to me like you have a gut feeling on what is right for you and your DH right now, but it is good that you are open to see how things evolve. Isn't that all any of us can do right now?

containsnuts · 14/09/2021 17:37

I've not been back to the gym. Can't imagine enjoying it with people puffing and panting in close proximity. Not been to sauna or steamrooms either. Wouldn't feel relaxed, refreshed and healthy sharing other people's air like that anymore. The enjoyment of it has gone. Much prefer being outdoors now.

SMBH · 14/09/2021 18:10

As someone who always preferred exercising outdoors I have never understood the attraction of the gym, or saunas/steam rooms tbh! I am sure the gym lovers are perfectly happy in my absence

Flip

1 2 3 4 5